New Here, Hows everyone?

[BabyRabbit]

Hi everyone, I just ran down this rabbithole and found this forum during a tough moment trying to find support. Thought I give this a try, hows everyone and there experience on here?

[Mattyy]

Hey BabyRabbit, yes I will share my story with you. I too have been diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety. This all started in year 10. All my life I have been bullied, criticized, being put down and not standing up for myself ever since kindergarten.......I was very much a loner my whole life....not until my friend found me sitting alone on the seats.....she and I are the best of friends.....every single recess and lunch we would race to get the big volleyball court before someone else.....and from the we were playing hand ball at a volleyball court....it was fun. This was in primary. However, in high school....I was pretty much a damn loner....not until year 10 it was that another new girl found me and asked me if I wanted to hang out with her and her friends during recess and lunch.....and I said yes. And from there...that's when it all began. I was pretty much friends with only girls my entire life....I'm 19 years old....I barely cannot talk to guys (males) because I have a feeling they might bully me or judge my actions. So yeah I'm hopeless in becoming friends with guys. However....I eventually had a guy friend that I met through my best friend at someones birthday party. Fast forward 5 months, him and I are very close.....his starting to call me as if I am his family "You are my family"......and he wanted me to hang out with his mates so i can have a different group of friends rather than girls.....however when I do so.....I eventually stay really quite....not talking to them unless they talk to me....like i get panic attacks and I can feel my heart beating so fast....As much as I want to be friends with them.....I hopeless....they have accepted me into their group, they are nice people.....however I cant accept myself.....pretty much I'm useless in making friendships with guys.

[Mattyy]

Hey there BabyRabbit, don't compare yourself to others or your friends. I have done that multiple times and it made me even more terrible......affecting me mentally.....what I do is that I just don't care. Your feeling this way because your alone.....I understand and can relate to you so much....I too have been struggling to find a job....even if its just part-time or casual so that I can gain experience and get out of my comfort zone.....but i have no luck....my applications keep getting rejected.....I get that your feeling that way because I have felt that way.....and as a result it made me even more alone and isolated. I would suggest that you should go out, do some volunteering perhaps because recruiters love to see community volunteer work rather than what experience you have....you can make new friends through volunteering....go out for a walk or gym....I find that it really helps me not to think of others and lets you focus on yourself.

[Aaronsis]

Hey Mattyy

So great that you have shared your story and I am so very very sorry that your school experience was also filled with bullying and criticism, just so hurtful and so not necessary and I just dont understand to be honest. I am so glad that both of those beautiful girls approached you and that the male friend you have made calls you family, you know, it is so much better to have one friend like that than 100 fake ones.

I get what you are saying that you are now left with some much anxiety and that it is so hard for you to make friends with males and I just want to ask you....does it matter?? The fact that this new friend calls you family means he values you and appreciates so and wants you in his life and I get that you feel scared as to what has happened in the past, but I really think that you can trust your friend with your feelings and perhaps chat to him about this and just let him know do feel a bit anxious sometimes in social situations with the guys, I am sure he will work to help you feel comfortable, he sounds awesome.

I am so glad that you have opened up and shared your story and I hope you continue to chat here, you can even make your own thread if you like.

Hi to you too BabyRabbit, hugs to you both

AS