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Meet your community champions!

replies: 10

Hi everyone, We wanted to share with you the way that our wonderful Community Champions are here to support you. You may have noticed that a few of our Forums members are labelled ‘Community Champion’. Community Champions are volunteers within the Beyond Blue Forums who: have the time, skills and empathy to support other members regularly; help to welcome new members; are actively engaged members that help set the tone of our community. Our Community Champions are regular contributors to many conversations across the forums. They are a consistent and friendly voice that have committed to sharing their experience and expertise with this community. They are not health care professionals or clinicians. Like you, they have an experience with a mental health challenge or diagnosis – either for themselves or someone they care for. This forum is for people who understand what it feels like and have a lived and living experience of mental health challenges. Our Community Champions help everyone feel comfortable and confident by demonstrating what excellent peer support is all about. Click here to find out more about how you can become a Community Champion! This incredible team are excited to introduce themselves below, and we are sure you’ll see them around the forums in conversations important to you.

HELP..Am I posting in the right section?

replies: 10

Welcome to those who are considering posting for the very first time, welcome. Thought I would repost part of the words that Chris B posted awhile ago, (2014) as I can hear that people are unsure if they are posting in the right section or worried that they are posting "the wrong thing". 1.A good title makes the difference Just like a headline in a newspaper, when scanning the dozens of threads to click into, it’s only natural that people will choose the ones that resonate with them most. A title that entices the reader, or asks a question, is likely to get a better result than something non-descriptive like “Depression” or “I don't know what to do”. If you think you’re not good at choosing titles, leave it till last. Spend time writing your post, then perhaps choose a sentence from what you’ve written as the title. 2.Join in threads that have already been posted We all have our own unique stories, but part of the reason for joining a forum like this one is because you know that you will have a lot in common with others who are posting. Before starting a new thread, have a look through the current topics being discussed and see if there’s a conversation you can join in with. It can be quite common to have a handful of very similar threads happening at any one time, with members seemingly unaware that there are others right there who are going through the same thing. Talking to other members on their threads is a great way of getting yourself known so that when you post a thread of your own, people may respond quicker because they recognize your name. 3.Choose the most appropriate section for your post Many people browse the forums looking for stories specifically to do with pregnancy and parenting, employment, grief, loss, separation etc. Going straight for the “Depression” section may seem like the easiest option, but this section is often the busiest, so your post is more likely to get lost among the threads. Making good use of the different forum sections not only helps keep the forum relevant, but you’re more likely to find others who are going through the same experiences as you. Also, if you're wanting to discuss issues of trauma, abuse, suicidal thoughts or self-harm, it's really important you post in the designated section to avoid triggering others who may not wish to read about these topics. Mostly..just come and chat, we are here for you. Our amazing wizards in the background will see your message ends up in the right spot. Sarah

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Back to old habbits

replies: 2

Last year I completely “lost it” and was in a mental health unit for 3 months. I have since been diagnosed with severe depressive disorder, p.t.s.d & borderline personality disorder, the mental health team I see, & my psychiatrist keep saying it’s a “working diagnosis” The amount and dosage of medication is very high. I can guarantee that I need these, as I mistakenly missed two lots of morning medication, as I slept til 10/11 in the morning. My mood and thoughts were pretty messed up & to the point of becoming dangerous, I didn’t realise I missed my morning medication, until it was time for my night medication(I have Webster packs). Now I’m so paranoid, about mucking up my medication. & over the past 2-3 months I have found my self getting back into the attitude of “ i’ll Be right” etc. & when people in general, doctors etc. ask me how I’m going....I’ve gone back to saying, I’m o.k and everything is all good, when in fact I’m the opposite. before i was put in hospital last year. I had “faked it” my whole life by being the funny, smart A. Type of person, and always made people laugh and feel happy. I haven’t laughed properly, or smiled in the past year, and now , I have no idea what to do...with everything, in all parts of life. And don’t know how to get myself out of telling people I’m ok & everything’s all good...when I’m NOT ok & everything IS NOT all good.

New, and lonely

replies: 1

Well writing this is harder than I thought....I guess I'll keep it simple. Almost 40 years old, suffered social anxiety, depression and anxiety my whole life. It has felt like one endless battle. I manage to function, just...I've lost the vast majority of friends over the years, am pretty much down to one. Little contact with family. A fragile relationship with someone as mentally unwell as me. So far I've been able to work, albeit getting more sporadic as I get older. Have recently started a new job in an environment that most people would be thrilled to be in, a close knit & sociable, outgoing group of people who pride themselves on being a supportive team, and I have almost come completely undone. Coffee breaks and lunches together every day, and I just clam up. How can "normal people" possibly understand that I can not even speak openly in groups of people I've known my whole life, that I can barely hold up a conversation with the family or friends I do see, that I am almost crippled by my own depression and suffering, let alone relax with a new group of people. It's getting harder to keep up the act that I've got it together so I continue to avoid people as much as I can and live an isolated existence. I grieve every single day for the person I could have been and the life I could have lived. So here I am...I know that all sounds like a huge poor me, attention seeking rant. I guess the idea of having some connection on here seemed comforting.

I’m at my wits end

replies: 2

Hi people, I am a mum of two boys. Mr 10 years old is a delightful child which is surprising seen as his older brother Mr 13 years old has been a nightmare since birth. He has been on medication for ADHD since the age of 5 and I have struggled with his behaviour for years however this year has been shocking. He has a terrible attitude to his family, is rude, extremely ungrateful, argumentative and defiant. I have to physically pull him out of bed everyday and do everything for him. Get his clothes out, pack his bag, stand beside him and make him do his homework, beg him to shower, clean up his clothes, argue with him about going to bed and do this over and over again day on and day out whilst trying to work 2 part time jobs, run a small business so I can afford to send him to a private Christian school in the hope that he will learn gratitude from them! I’m getting to the point where I can’t stand to be around him anymore and want to leave my family because of the way he treats us. He’s already on medication, has had counselling which he thinks is a joke. Where else can I send him - boarding school?

Dealing with feelings of isolation and loneliness

replies: 4

Hello everyone! First time posting on here so I am not sure if this is the most appropriate forum to put it on but here goes nothing. I, as like many of you, have been living with depression and anxiety for a long time now. One of the recurring feelings that has become more and more prominent I have had over the last two years is what seems like to me, the unshakable feeling of isolation and loneliness, and it is a sick feeling to have that I am feeling nauseous typing this out. During this time, I have made a conscious effort to be more open about my mental health with family and friends that I feel like I am close to and I can trust, to which I have had a mixed bag of reactions; half of them received it well, but don't really make an effort to check in to see how I am going afterwards (one even forgetting I told them after only one month), and the rest, did not receive it well at all (notably my Mum, who just gave me the simple "snap out of response" which as I am sure you can all understand, not as easy as it sounds). It appears to me that being open and vulnerable like that just makes me feel more lonely and isolated than before. I want to be able to have a more deeper and meaningful relationships and steer away from superficial ones with my friends and family, but what is leading me feel like I am all alone is the fact I don't want to burden them with my problems, as well as believing that they probably weren't the best people to be open to about my mental health to begin with. I actively try to maintain these connections but as of late I cannot help but feel like that since revealing the status of my mental health to them, they have been distancing themselves away further adding more fuel to the "I don't want to a burden" fire. It is so tiring! One thing that I have been doing a lot recently is shifting the spotlight to any drama or problems they are having and offering my support and advice that way. However, I can definitely sympathise with the possibility that they just aren't sure how they could be of help to me either, and are nervous about saying or doing the wrong thing, which creates a bit of a Catch 22 in a way. Question is, well, it is a two part question: 1) If anyone else can relate, how do you cope? 2) How to break through the Catch 22? If you need me to elaborate please ask. I am already on 307 characters left in this post and don't want to make it anymore longer if I can. Looking forward to chatting with you all! Regards Tom

My wife doesnt want anything to do with me in a physical sense

replies: 4

Hi im in need of some help and advice. Over the last 3 years my loving wife of 8 years doent want anything to do with me in any form of physical contact. I have broght it up several times the best i can with out making it sound like its all the sex side of it. The last time we talked about it she said she would seek help which was over 3 months ago.... I dont no how to approach the topic again and dont want to seem to pushy. My depression has come on so stong latley as i feel not wanted or needed. I feel i have a great life but my need for even a meaningful hug in bed woild mean the world. Im at the point im feeling im losing a very special connection i have with my wife.. Please help please.

Feeling helpless

replies: 2

I don't know where to start really but I am a struggling mum my son is 18 and for the last 6 months he has changed he has had a horrible start to the year. Me and my husband support him all the time but he is so rude and disrespectful to us the reason for my post is that i lost it last night with him I was like a women gone mad and I am not proud of myself but I think I had just taken so much that it came it to head. Now I'm scared I have made him worse with his mental health. My feeling is I couldn't care less if I died tomorrow as I just can't cope with it anymore I'm not going to do anything stupid but I'm just so desperate to have my nice son back. We are waiting for a mental health plan for him and maybe I need to see someone too. Just had to write down how I feel feel like such a bad mother Thx for listening and reading x

Confidence = 0

replies: 2

Hi there, I have been living in an emotionally abusive marriage for 20 years, my husband is 20 years older than me and gets worse everyday, he is the ultimate 71 year old narcissist, lovely to everyone but me, puts me down to everyone so he looks like the victim, etc, etc. I am his 3rd wife. I have been called every name you can possibly imagine by him on a daily basis, evening is the worst time as he is a functioning alcoholic and after he has been drinking all day at the end of the day I cop it. No one knows this but me, I have tried reaching out to people but they just don't believe it of him. People say why don't you leave and I have the usual standard answer, I am not in a financial position to leave. I have an employment opportunity but I am becoming overwhelmed with feelings of lack, I just don't believe in myself any more and cant get past it, I am about to pull the plug on this employment opportunity, I not sure if I will be any good to anyone. I feel my soul is so dented, all I do lately is cry and its taking its toll on my health. Can you suggest anything to help me feel worthy ? I have prayed and prayed for a new beginning and to get away from this horrid person I am chained too, but no answers have come to light. I cant believe I survived the Black Saturday fires just to be left in this terrible trapped position, dosent make sense to me, I just don't know what to do...….. completely and utterly lost. Thanks for letting me tell you this.

Sleep disorder

replies: 1

Hi I suffer from sleep disorder due to work pressure and a shoulder injury,I have left the job that I was in and found a less stressful job on a farm But there is still some pressure there. So I take medication for anxiety,because the anxiety was keeping me awake for hours l started taking medication to get to sleep,I then found that it got less effective as time went on and now have been on it for a couple of years on and off more on than off. Since major shoulder surgery two weeks ago I found the medication to be less affective,and went to the doctor for more. As a resalt of that visit he gave me a different drug which is non addictive but now I lye awake till 3am or so sleep for a couple of hours and get up do my work around the house as I cannot work for 6 weeks,snap at my wife which make for a not so happy life around the home,and feel like killing every one else, my question is what can I do to stop feeling like this, how long does this lack of sleep stuff carry on for cause it's doing my head in to top it off cannot get into doctor for a couple of weeks.

When do you stop giving a crap?

replies: 4

Married 10 years, been together for 20. No kids, I have a good job that I do well at, I spend a lot of time at work - I feel good there, valued and like the crazy busy work load, BUT I’m starting to struggle with keeping my mind in check. My wife is, let’s just say a very vocal person. She loves to drink. She drinks a lot. She drinks till she can’t walk and passes out. I often find her lying on the floor outside or in the bathroom. When she starts to drink I try to avoid her as I will cop a mouthful of insults and swearing and lately she is starting to hit me. Also if we are with people she will degrade me and say things about me that is embarrassing. It’s like she wants people to know that I am some piece of crap. I hardly drink and don’t take drugs. I think I try and live a good balanced life, but when do you say enough is enough? We have talked about her alcohol and she blames me. She says I do nothing around the house and hardly cleans( we have a maid?!?). I have not ever cheated on my wife, but I’m always being ridiculed for it. I have begged her to stop the drinking and she just won’t. Last night was the worst. I woke up to a noise and saw her lying on the bathroom floor choking. I ran and picked her up, held her over the basin. She vomited toothpaste water. She was so drunk that she passed out whilst gargling mouthwash. I can’t deal with this anymore and nothing we talk about is ever seen through. Is it me? Am I to old school and believe that things will come right?!? If I leave her she will most probably die.

Introduction

replies: 2

Hey, My name is Greg, I'm a 30yo male from SA with a wife and 3 kids. Times have been hard here and there and instead of waiting weeks at a time for a psychologist appointment, I figure being here with like minded people may be a great option. A bit about me, I have been with my wife for over 10 years, been married for almost 8. We have 3 children a girl 7, another girl 6 and a boy almost 2. I have always been a bit of an angry person, hypocritical (don't always do everything right, criticize others but don't like to be criticized) have stress anxiety depression and anger issues. Undiagnosed I have been told I must have a split personality due to being an asshole one minute and over it and loving the next. My main problem is the anger, to the point where my wife has considered leaving me so she doesn't have to deal with it like she has for so long and so my kids don't grow up with the same attitude problems. I try to look at the positive of everything, but have a short fuse and go from 0 to 100 in a split second. I have many opinions, some may be helpful, some I might think are helpful, but may not be. Hoping while being here to have some input and try to help others, while obviously needing help for me to also get past my demons. Greg.

Meet your community champions! replies: 10

HELP..Am I posting in the right section? replies: 10

Back to old habbits replies: 2

New, and lonely replies: 1

I’m at my wits end replies: 2

Dealing with feelings of isolation and loneliness replies: 4

My wife doesnt want anything to do with me in a physical sense replies: 4

Feeling helpless replies: 2

Confidence = 0 replies: 2

Sleep disorder replies: 1

When do you stop giving a crap? replies: 4

Introduction replies: 2