New here....don't know what to expect

[southernguy]

Good evening, all.

Obviously, I'm new here. Very unsure about this. I'm sure, like a lot of people here, talking about the issues I'm dealing/struggling with is not easy. It feels strange "saying" it out loud.

I've been struggling with depression/anxiety all my adult life. I've tried a couple of medications but really didn't like the effect they had on me in the long run, left me feeling just, flat and indifferent to everything. Although I don't deliberately use alcohol to self medicate, I can't say that it doesn't help sometimes. I don't have much of a support network as I've always struggled to maintain or even build friendships. Not particularly close to family but I am lucky to have a supportive Wife, however my issues do place a lot of stress and pressure on her. She loves people and socializing, where I desperately try to avoid any type of interaction with other people. I can do it occasionally but if I can't avoid it, get so worked up and edgy and am always desperate to leave as soon as possible. I love her dearly and feel so guilty about the negative impact I have on her but it is so hard to be "normal".

Dark thoughts have been a bit more prevalent recently. Really struggling with just going to work or even leaving the house some days. Simply feel like I just don't want to be involved in anything anymore.

I have recently, finally, spoken to my doctor about this and am about to try to start some positive, proactive steps to try to deal with whats going on in my head....a long road ahead, I think!

As I said in the title, I don't know what I expect here. But thought I'd reach out and see how I go....

Cheers, all

[J_M_12345]

Hello hello!

Thank you for reaching it out! Personally, I find it helpful to talk about how I'm feeling and I also feel less alone hearing that other people go through similar things. So speaking up might be very beneficial for you too. It also takes courage to speak out though, so I commend you for that.

It sounds like you've been struggling with depression and anxiety for quite a while, and that lately it's been a bit worse. I'm sorry that you haven't found help in medications. Medications in psychiatry can sometimes be a bit of trial and error to see what works for your specific case and body, so perhaps you are a couple tries away from finding the right one. Alternatively, it is possible that maybe medications do not work for you at all. In that case, you might rely on other treatment options like different types of therapy. The best person to discuss this with is a psychiatrist if possible. If not, your GP (or even better, both!). So I'm so glad you've already talked to your doctor about this. I know it can feel really really tough at the time, but hang in there, and with treatment things will get better, just like any other illness! You are so brave in being proactive about your mental wellbeing, despite feeling so low you don't want to leave the house. This shows me that you have grit. Please reward yourself for this!

In terms of some short term things that I personally find helpful that you might find helpful, have you tried some meditation apps? I like using Headspace. Exercise and eating and sleeping well can do a lot with depression and anxiety (though I know this is hard when you don't even want to get out of bed). In those situations, try focusing on getting through the day even 5 minutes at a time. Take it one step at a time to the bathroom for example to shower and brush your teeth, and that little thing might help when everything is so overwhelming. Try to focus on the present moment.

Finally, in terms of your wife, perhaps let her know that she is also encouraged to seek support as a carer of someone with mental illness. This would help her better care for her own mental wellbeing and in turn of you too! It's so good to see that she is there for you. Other support services you might like to turn to are the beyondblue call service 1300 22 4636, email or online chat.

Hope this helps a little. Keep sharing when you feel happy to. Would love to hear your journey towards recovery.

Cheers,

Josette

[geoff]

Hello Southerguy, welcome to the site and saying it out loud is a step toward recognition because many times people push it away and stay in denial but sometimes this is their way of trying to cope, it's never easy.

One particular medication may suit somebody while it doesn't with someone else, so if a friend or family member say that you should ask your doctor about this antidepressant (AD ) because it has been the miracle AD that has helped them, doesn't mean it's going to be right for you, but it's just a matter of trial and error.

Alcohol is used to self medicate, I used it, but it only puts a bandaid over the problems because next morning it all starts over again so it's a continuous circle.

To socialise you may have to answer questions people ask you, especially about what you are doing these days, how you are feeling and what's happening, these maybe ok to answer once or even twice but certainly not several times, that's why they avoid socialising, so you are in a difficult situation where your wife wants to go out and you'd rather stay home, so this could be a stumbling block between the two f you.

It's great you have contacted your doctor and they may decide that you need some time off, how will your work handle this and be accepting of the fact you are seeking treatment.

If your doctor refers you to a psychologist ask them about the mental health plan. this entitles you to 100 free sessions with them per year.

Hope to hear back from you.

Geoff.