New and nervous

[MrsTron]

Hello to all.

I've finally plucked up the courage to find a forum/online support group.

I am currently in hospital, night 6 tonight, being treated for PND/PTSD. After a pretty epic breakdown last Wednesday night. I had been on medication, but to no avail. I had unraveled to the point of no return.

I am 37 and a mum of 2 gorgeous Ivf babies. 2yo boy and 6 month old girl.

I am married to a complex and somewhat narcissistic man. Whom I see as also having depression, but refuses to acknowledge it or seek help.

I am under the care of some really great people here, but unfortunately where I'm located, mental health facilities and care are somewhat limited. And I'm in a general ward and have essentially been left to my own devices. Christmas/new year was such an inconvenient time to have a breakdown.

So here I am. Seeking a friendly ear and someone that can relate and help me try and navigate my way out of this fog.

Thanks for taking the time to read this and I do hope I've found a safe and helpful place.

[blondguy]

Hello MrsTron

Welcome to the forums and good on you for posting too!

You really have had a ton on your plate.....the PND/PTSD, the accumulative stress that is so common preceding the festive season too. We had a lot of people in dark places over this period.

The forums are a safe and Judgemental Free Zone...they are also bullet proof secure to ensure your privacy.

I have had depression since 1996 and take my SSRI and an anti anxiety med every night.....(just so you know I have some understanding of what you are going through)I really hope you are getting the level of care you deserve as a young mum with 2 wonderful bubs 🙂

Does your hubby visit and dote on you when you went to hospital? I hope so.

I really feel for you having your health pack up and go on holidays leaving you in hospital MrsTron especially away from your babies

There are many very kind people here on the forums who can be here for you. We have many great girls on here too that have the knowledge on PND that can be here for you too 🙂

It would be great if you could stick around....even if you just want a chat 🙂

you are not alone here

my kindest thoughts for you

Paulx

[Croix]

Dear Mrs Tron

Thanks for your post, I see Paul has given you a greeting and I though I'd follow up, you have a lot on your plate. It no doubt all seems very strange.

As someone that has been hit by PTSD a long time ago (ex-policeman) I know that there may be a fair amount of time on your hands in hospital. Also that things won't stop when you are discharged and go home, in fact that's probably when the pressure will increase with your boy and little girl to look after again.

As you've made the initial big step of posting here, I'd suggest you might find it an enjoyable place to pop into us on a regular basis - if you want. You might tell us more abut yourself and your circumstances.

You can go exploring and look at the threads dealing with depressions, and with motherhood. If you feel like posting here fine, but you are not limited, if something strikes a bell, well use you judgment. Just about everywhere a new opinion or voice can be welcomed - you don't need qualifications to post.

Also background reading is available vie the The Facts drop-down menu concerning your illness.

Ok, I hope you post again

My best wishes

Croix

[geoff]

hello MrsTron, I hope that you are still checking your comment for any more replies, but I was going through the pages to see what comments had only had one or two replies and found yours.
It's always lovely when a new baby arrives, but there are times when you don't feel that way because you have PND, and perhaps your husband also has PND which can be quite common for the father to get, because that's exactly what happened to me, as my wife (ex) was suffering from it.
Men find it very hard to say that they are depressed and deny any suggestion that they are, so this makes it enormously difficult to get them to own up, which causes more pain for everyone.
With any depression the big question is why do you have to have it, oh boy I wish I could answer that with a straight answer, but I can't it's too complicated, and everyone is different, so each person has to be dealt with on their own.
There are many people who have a breakdown over the Xmas period, so this site is always very busy, but each person has their own fears of what is going to happen or what they expect will happen, but please I hope that you are still with us on the site and hopefully will get back to us. Geoff.

[pipsy]

Hi MrsTron. You have an incredible amount on an already overflowing plate. PTSD/PND, two children through the uncertainty of IVF, narcissistic hubby. I salute you with your courage to get to where you are with what you have achieved. PTSD, is incredibly draining and complex. Can I ask what has caused it? The PND is possibly related to fear of whether you are capable of being a mother to these children, I was similar with my daughter (she is now grown, married etc), but I was terrified when she was born because I had no idea how to care for her. Learning to distinguish her cries was scary. My (then) MIL was a gem, through her guidance and support, I managed to bond with my daughter. Hopefully the PND has eased to where you now feel comfortable with these children you love. Your hubby's narc behaviour is something you are not responsible for nor can you accept blame. Have you googled narcissism to learn which trait best describes him? Once you learn his mannerisms and which trait is his, you can then decide what your next move is. It is extremely doubtful he will ever admit to this trait as he believes he is right. Please continue with the AD's (unless otherwise directed) as they will help, taking them for the depression/PTSD etc, plus help from an understanding psychologist/therapist will help clear your mind of the thick fog you are presently encased in.

Lynda

[missingmyself]

Hello MrsTron,I too just put my first post in and are very unsure about all of this.My situation is different but the same in some ways and I guess we have both taken the first step.Like you Xmas and special occasions /dates seem to be the most difficult.Hang in there and I truly hope you get yourself on track again.