LOST AND ALONE.... What's wrong with me?

SadMummy27 · ‎15-01-2017

I'm a young mother. I have an almost 4 year old and am 24 weeks pregnant with my second. I am in a relationship with the father of my children. It has been 5 years and we are still together, for the kids mainly. I feel so alone. Parenting our child and i feel alone in this pregnancy. I am actually a mess writing this right now... I know what's right from wrong.. I know what i should do. I just don't want to be the one to brake up our family home. I can't live like this, i am just so so sad. Please help me...

kanga_brumby · ‎15-01-2017

I am a single dad. We lost there mother due to cancer. So to a small degree I understand the frustration of parenthood, When there mother was alive she also had a disability, so I had to care for both the children. As well as care for her alone. She had difficulty relating to both of our children. Because she had anxiety and depression issues as well. She had never been around infant children, for any length of time. And didn't know how to relate to them. So basically I was a single dad from day one. It's a hard road to travel, at the best of times. Even if you have a partner who knows what to do. By pitching in changing nappies, feeding, cleaning house, cooking what ever needs doing. With out knowing how much support your partner is. It is hard to say what to do. Apart from talk to your gp, try and get support from your family, his family. I know it's hard to get with the right support you will get through this. There is a light at the end of the tunnel your in. You can do it. Not for your partner but for you, and the children. You have to remain focused on the children at all times. Nothing else matters, Your health and the children. Every thing else has to come after that.

Oh almost forgot welcome to BB forums.

Kanga

Starwolf · ‎15-01-2017

Welcome to the forums, SadMummy and well done for reaching out.

Feeling alone within a relationship is heartbreaking. You are supposed to feel nurtured and supported but here you are, feeling miserable. Unfortunately, pregnancy can contribute to aggravating those feelings, making you vulnerable to depression.

There's no need to struggle alone. I'd suggest you have an open talk with a GP. You may need a counselor's help to reassess your relationship as staying together "for the children's sake only" sounds like a fragile arrangement. Being a single parent is difficult but not as harmful as staying in a toxic relationship that would end up affecting the children's life too.

You say you know what you should do but can't bring yourself to doing it. Life changing choices and decisions are not easy to make. Unfortunately, knowledge demands action. Would your partner agree to participate in a counseling session ? It is always best if both sides are heard. A mediator could point you in the right direction.

Meanwhile, doing the K10 test (in the Facts section, top left of this page) could help you learn more about the nature of your distress. It is of course not meant to replace a proper diagnosis.

Your priority right now is to take good care of yourself so that you can continue to care for your child and his/her future sibling. As Kanga suggested, can you delegate some child care tasks ?

Can you let us know a bit more about your situation ? Sorry about the questions but without a few answers, it is difficult for us to know how we can best help you. And helping you is what we would like to do.

Kindest thoughts.