New and anxious about privacy

[TheLonelyGuy]

Hey guys, just created my account. I’ve been reading these forums for months now, and I’ve always wanted to start “venting”about my depression and social anxiety but my psychologist is discouraging me from doing so because she reckons I’m going to keep my negative thoughts “in front of my face” if I read and post on these forums. The other thing is I’m really scared about privacy. What if I get identified by either the authorities or anyone? It would ruin my reputation. I’m even scared of signing off with my first name at the end of my post ;/

[Guest_1643]

hi, yes there was the 29 year old on MAFs who had never had an intimate partner, and you've reminded me of Melissa in (?) the same season who hadn't been with someone for a very long time. Maybe ten years? She was 38.

[geoff]

Hello TheLonelyGuy, the problem with negative thoughts and intrusive thoughts is that our mind distorts the real facts and develops thoughts that for some reason keep reoccurring in our mind that are disturbing and distressing.

There is no rule book stating that a person should have kissed another person and broken their virginity by the time they reach 21, it only happens when the opportunity arises and because you haven't, does it actually mean anything, no, not if you don't tell your mates, and who knows whether or not they are not in the same position and haven't told anyone.

It will happen when you love someone and in these times of uncertainty with this COVID doesn't make it any easier for you.

Geoff.

[TheLonelyGuy]

Thanks everyone for your insightful opinions! I won’t reply to everyone, but I’ve read everything!
The reason why my username is what it is, is because I’m literally the loneliest person in the planet. I feel like Tom Hanks in cast away. I lack friendships, and since I left school I’ve made next to no friends.
My daily routine is literally waking up (unfortunately), taking my SSRIs, eat, play my music instrument all day, go on Instagram all day, cry about being stuck in this routine, cry about not knowing how to flirt with a girl, cry about knowing I’m such an outcast while everyone else is working, partying, having sex, hanging out with their partner………..and - I’m always day dreaming about my psychologist. I miss her so much between our sessions due to transference.

I’m also so underexposed to social interactions that I usually say things really awkwardly. I sometimes really struggle to say my thoughts out loud.

[smallwolf]

What instrument do you play?

Care to tell me more about that?

[TheLonelyGuy]

I’ve been playing the piano for like 14 years 🙂

Since I left school I’m not involved in any music group like I used to be due to my social anxiety.

[smallwolf]

You must be quite good then? What style of music do you play?

Do you write your own?

[TheLonelyGuy]

I’m really into Jazz and improvisation at the moment, although I play a bit of classical too 🙂

[smallwolf]

Oh. That sounds sooo COOL!

I know you said you have social anxiety. Some people adopt a persona when performing. Is that something you have thought about? Even performers that have been playing in front of people their whole life get nervous before a show. Please do not think I am trying to push you to do anything. You sound like you have a of talent there!

[mmMekitty]

Piano, Jazz, classic, improvisation - all sounds great to me! 😺Mix these all up & it'd be perfect,

I'm, unfortunately, am not well-coordinated, so didn't manage to learn much. Now, even if I thought I was brilliant, I would be extremely anxious going out in front of an audience.

mmMekitty

[TheLonelyGuy]

Ooooh noooo no hahahahahaha. My social anxiety has nothing to do with playing in front of people. I LOVE playing in front of people because it’s the ONLY time where I feel superior to others (as in, I can play like this and some of you can’t), (not to the point where I’m toxic about it though, lol).

The anxiety for me is anticipating getting in touch with people looking for band members, entering the rehearsal room for the first time, meeting the band members etc… a bit like starting a new job, or being in a new classroom in a new school with a new teacher. (Maybe nobody would understand that comparison because I’m the only who feels that way when these new situations happen), so don’t say you know what I mean if you don’t lol