Need help for partner (ADHD)

[solDC]

I'm not sure what to do. My partner has had ADHD symptoms from childhood but is not formally diagnosed. He has had bad experiences with doctors in the past and does not feel that he will get any help or medical treatment. The issue is affecting our relationship and I cannot take it anymore as we have a child to raise. How easy is it to get diagnosis and treatment for adult ADHD? I don't want him to become more disillisioned by being stuck in a merry go round of dead ends from the medical system failing to help.

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

I'm 64yo. In 2003 my partner believed I had adult adhd. We sought a psychiatrist specialising in that field. There is about 2-3 in every capital city.

I was diagnosed with adhd and took megs. 12 need I tried over 6 years!! And none workef- why? Because I didn't actually have adhd.

I got a second opinion and found I had bipolar. The manic stage in bipolar mirrored adhd. So, mood stabilizers did the trick.

The moral of the story is correct diagnodis- most important. Then the right meds which can be challenging, then the right dosage.

Bit it's worth it because he'll keep his family. It's a big problem being a mental illness patient because we don't see the affect of our symptoms on others.

You can show him my post if it helps.
TonyWK

[solDC]

Hi Tony, thanks for the quick reply. My partner was forced mood stabiliser medication in psych ward. It was the worst feeling of his life. and it pushed the symptoms in the opposite direction (worse). as a result he's very traumatised by it. I don't know how to help as he finds dealing with medical staff annoying and pointless to the point of not trying. I would advocate on his behalf to the doctor's for help but I don't know how effective that would be.

[white knight]

There is a vast difference in medications. Mood stabilizers is a prime example.

My sister tried 6 before she found one agreeable for her.

As for him not wanting to try medical treatment, there is no cure for that I'm afraid.

TonyWK

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi solDC,

Thank you for your post and I'm glad you got some support from TonyWK. ADHD is such a complicated diagnosis and it also makes sense that your partners time in the psych ward would complicate things even more and make it traumatising.

I wonder if instead of focusing on the diagnosis (and going through a GP/Specialist), you could instead reframe it to managing how he is coping? While medications can be a go-to, there's a place for therapy too.

I'll link to some more info about one of the therapies for ADHD - maybe this can be a more approachable option while also getting your partner the help he needs.

https://www.psychology.org.au/for-the-public/Psychology-topics/ADHD-in-adults

Best of luck,

rt