My new job sucks and I don't know what to do

[Lifeshard68]

I suffer from depression and am on low dose medication. I think it's actually a combination of anxiety and depression to be honest.
I started a new commercial/retail property management role a couple of months ago and it has not turned out to be what I expected. I find I am quite a high strung type who likes do do right by everyone and do what I do well. The portfolio is a mess with many historical issues, the systems are terribly inadequate and I am time poor due to all the catch up required and a demanding owner at my largest property. 3 staff have recently left the company including the admin assistant whom they have advised they are not replacing, so we are short staffed overall. I'm very overwhelmed and, despite discussing with my new manager that I need assistance, I'm being advised not to worry but just to take it slow (that's totally against my nature) and just do one thing at a time (not possible in this line of work). I'm starting to get frustrated and emotional and don't know what to do. I hate to fail and I hate to disappoint but I feel I am not being heard. I am about to turn 50 and whilst reaching that age doesn't bother me it seems to be becoming an issue for prospective employers! I have daily thoughts of packing it in and living in a motorhome by the sea or bush but my elderly father lives with me since Mum died so I have him to think about and I also don't want to disappoint him too! I don't have a partner or kids and lead a pretty quiet social life by choice since I get easily disappointed with people in general and have a small group of friends that I go out with. I know, I sound like a catch right? I don't know what to do. I'm so ready to sell up, run away and raise chickens by the sea.

[Croix]

Dear Lifeshard68~

Coming here to the Forum and seeking other people's views is a pretty good thing to do. Often it's helpful to find what others have done, it can lend a degree of perspective.

The place where you work sounds a mess, and beyond the capabilities of just one person to sort out. Talking to your manager about things is sensible, even if the answers you got were not that good a fit. There are many times in life we need to set up barriers to cope with hassles, and here sounds one of those occasions. In the short term would it be possible not to take on responsibility as you are doing now, but do as suggested and concentrate on single or lesser areas?

In the longer term have you thought about another job? While you are already in employment is the best time to try for other positions. 50 is not too old to apply for and get jobs, not everybody wants juniors or even young adults. Maturity can be a bonus.

Can I ask if you are in reasonably frequent contact with your doctor? Just at the moment you medical support may need tweaking to compensate for your working conditions. I also wonder if you have discussed things with your dad, having someone who cares to speak frankly with can really help.

Living by the sea in a motor-home does sound a romantic escape, but even leaving you family responsibilities to one side I suspect it would pall over time.

Do you think putting up some temporary barriers and also looking elsewhere would get you though?

Croix

[baet123]

Hey Lifehard68,

Welcome to the forums. Thank you so much for sharing your situation with us. That takes extreme courage and bravery which you have bucket loads of! That is amazing and you should be proud!

Sorry to hear about your situation at work. Commercial/retail property management sounds like an extremely stressful at the best of times but it sounds like your having to take on a lot of responsibilities that you shouldn't have to take on. Maybe having a break and going away for a bit for a trip in motor home may be a good thing but don't make any rash decisions.

I guess what you have to decide or think about is whether pushing yourself at work is worth the strain it is having on your mental health. You sound extremely intellectual, logical, brave and resilient. Weigh up your options and do what you think is best for your health. Nothing is worth sacrificing our mental health and well-being!

Keep us posted.

All the best!

Nick

[Lifeshard68]

Thank you both for your input. I have had a chat with Dad about how difficult I'm finding things and he is sympathetic. I feel better that he understands and has accepted that he might need to move if I find I need to take some time away on my own. I actually feel better for just having shared my issues with you and him. I know I need to step back from my stressful job and take it more easy but that's easier said than done. I did manage to leave early today to get away for the long weekend to spend some time with myself. You know what? It feels good. Thanks

[Croix]

Dear Lifeshard68~

I'm glad you were able to talk to your dad. At times it is easy to make assumptions on how people will react, and that can simply make things harder. Now you have an ally, which is great.

Having a long weekend to yourself is a good first step, you mentioned before this job is short staffed and a mess. What are your thoughts about staying?

Croix

[Turtle123]

Hi there,

I have been in exactly the same situation. My Dad died, I got myself together but had to change jobs at 50 years old. I also suffer from anxiety and depression. I am also a perfectionist, meaning I take my role seriously and go out of my way to do the best. My new job was very demanding due to structural changes about every week. In the end I had to quit as I was spending more time and money on my mental and physical health than actually working.

It's hard at 50 plus to find a job that suits your personal needs. Take care if yourself and ask this "Can I get a more suitable job for me? "

All the best.

Lifeshard68 said:I suffer from depression and am on low dose medication. I think it's actually a combination of anxiety and depression to be honest.
I started a new commercial/retail property management role a couple of months ago and it has not turned out to be what I expected. I find I am quite a high strung type who likes do do right by everyone and do what I do well. The portfolio is a mess with many historical issues, the systems are terribly inadequate and I am time poor due to all the catch up required and a demanding owner at my largest property. 3 staff have recently left the company including the admin assistant whom they have advised they are not replacing, so we are short staffed overall. I'm very overwhelmed and, despite discussing with my new manager that I need assistance, I'm being advised not to worry but just to take it slow (that's totally against my nature) and just do one thing at a time (not possible in this line of work). I'm starting to get frustrated and emotional and don't know what to do. I hate to fail and I hate to disappoint but I feel I am not being heard. I am about to turn 50 and whilst reaching that age doesn't bother me it seems to be becoming an issue for prospective employers! I have daily thoughts of packing it in and living in a motorhome by the sea or bush but my elderly father lives with me since Mum died so I have him to think about and I also don't want to disappoint him too! I don't have a partner or kids and lead a pretty quiet social life by choice since I get easily disappointed with people in general and have a small group of friends that I go out with. I know, I sound like a catch right? I don't know what to do. I'm so ready to sell up, run away and raise chickens by the sea.

[baet123]

Hey Lifeshard,

Like Croix stated, I too am glad that you were able to speak to your dad and clarify a few things. I can tell he respects and loves you and that you have a good relationship. Sharing your emotions is beneficial and we will always be here to support you mate. I am also very encouraged and happy that you are enjoying yourself. Please ensure you do this and maintain this self-care as a regular occurrence. It is so crucial that we all take time for ourselves and do what we want to do and enjoy life because we all deserve to be happy!

Please keep us posted and I sense positive change and things moving forward for you.

Keep up the good work mate.

All the best.

Your friend,

Nick.