Moved to a new town and really alone

[Hanna3]

Hi, I'm in my early 60s and not well off, I recently made a big move to an inland town from the coast and am finding it cliquey and really hard to get to know anyone. I live alone with my dog who has separation anxiety so it is hard to leave him alone at home for long, which limits what I can do. I am really homesick for the easy-going lifestyle near the sea but thought a cooler climate would suit me better as I don't cope with heat well, but it's been really hot here and bad drought. I didn't expect such heat but everyone tells me it's got worse in the last couple of years and I don't have aircon, so am stuck inside the house alone a lot. I am in public housing so it's an old fibro place with no insulation.

I have friends who live a long way away but as soon as I mention to them I am feeling lonely they don't want to talk and I feel very let down, as one of them had a lot of family problems and I always let her talk a long time and tried to give her some support, now I need it there is none back. I've tried joining things like a choir and a book club but only met once before they finished for the Christmas/New Year and don't go back until February. Due to the dog's anxiety I try not to leave him alone during the day, we walk in the park a lot but you don't run into the same people often - this town is quite big, where I lived before was very small and you had a lot of acquaintances as you kept running into the same people.

Anyway I feel like I've made a huge mistake, I thought there would be more for me to do here than where I lived before but in fact it's worse, I have no family, and no friends to talk to. Hoping there is some support here as I feel lonely enough to curl up on the floor - I don't have the money to move back and anyway the wait for Housing would be years. Feel like I've made a huge mess of my life and my poor little dog seems depressed and lonely too. Thanks for any support.

[Birdy77]

Hi again Hanna,

Your sit at the park today sounds nice and maybe a bit refreshing. I can understand giving church a miss last night after being out a bit during the day and it being too hot for little Sam in the car.

Look at you go, joining in with the writing group at the library! Good for you! See how you go next month, and by then a few other things will start up again soon anyway.

Ok, i've added The Erratics to my list on GoodReads and i checked it's at my local library so will borrow that this week. Also found Road Ends by Mary Lawson, that is the only book of hers at my library. Thanks for the recommendations! You might like Plainsong by Kent Haruf.

I haven't seen Bohemian Rhapsody yet, i am looking forward to seeing that though. I watched Rocketman a couple of weeks ago, it was different to what i was expecting but i enjoyed it, these musicians have genius inside them. 3 Billboards outside Ebbing was so incredible and intense, amazingly talented cast! I will look out for Victoria and Abdul, i haven't heard of that.

I can understand hearing people gush about the wonderful place you've just moved from - triggering extra homesickness in a big way. It's ok Hanna, nothing has to be forever. You made the decision to move for valid reasons, and although it dr doesn't feel like it's all rainbows and lollipops just at the moment, trust that you will start to settle in, given a little bit of time. I know you said you don't have the funds etc to move again, but see how you go down the track, nothing has to be absolutely permanent, things can change.

Sounds like it's going to be a hot week for you. It's not as hot as that where i am, I'm on the coast, it's warm, but not stifling. It's been smokey here too, there's this eerie haze, and the sunsets have been really weird lately, the sun has looked like the moon, but red.

Enjoy that fan!

🌻birdy

[Hanna3]

Hi Birdy, I love Kent Haruf's books! I've read them all. Victoria and Abdul is very light easy watching. Have you tried A Room with a View or Howard's End? - they are terrific old movies - get the original versions by Merchant and Ivory, not any new remakes. I'll try and look up some other movies/books I like I am a bit blank this time of day - just having a cuppa before taking Sam out for his afternoon stroll. Tomorrow I have to drive to another town to get him clipped but he'll be cooler before the worst of the heat sets in!

[Hanna3]

Hi Moonstruck, I'm in public housing due to a neurological condition that stopped me working, so waiting for a transfer can take years - the transfer here took 12 months. I wish I wish I had enough to purchase a little place! I moved largely to get away from the severe humidity - it would be around 95-98% for about seven months of the year and I had no aircon there either. Housing doesn't provide aircon and I don't have the money for even a portable for the bedroom. I had no idea the summers here were so bad - I lived here for a couple of years maybe 15 years ago and the summers hit maybe about 32 degrees and were short - but people tell me the last couple of years they've been getting temps in the mid-40s and the drought is terrible. It was snowing when I viewed the cottage so I had no idea it was now so hot here in summer!

The other reason was I developed a condition where I am going to lose sight in one eye and I felt in case I couldn't drive in future I should be somewhere where facilities were closer - but now I think I sacrificed a lot of nice things in return for being terribly practical... I thought here everything like eye specialists, shops etc are close by - in the little town I lived in you had to drive a long way to the nearest major centre for things like that.

Yes I've stocked up on movies and good TV series - the Danish thriller The Killing is great as is Borgen. Luckily the local library is excellent.

I think I am missing a more outdoors lifestyle and there were more places to walk Sam - and I am missing the sea more than I thought... I don't have the money to move again even if I could, I tell myself give it six months and if I am still miserable well then I'll talk to Housing about another transfer but on a pension it's hard to save to move...

At least I've made one friend here and have another I used to know years ago, although she's busy and we don't catch up very often. Aircon as you say is becoming a necessity, someone here told me all the new houses have aircon it's now compulsory. Wish I'd known! This old fibro house gets like an oven.

It's still a short summer should start getting cool by end March I hope!

Thanks for chatting, I have to take Sam for a stroll in the park it's become a bit overcast so not as bad as the days ahead so I'll take the chance to give him another roll on the only green grass left in town - the town park!

[Birdy77]

Hi Hanna, (hi Moon!),

Oh i love A Room With a View and Howard's End! I have watched them, the Merchant Ivory ones, more times than i can count although i haven't seen them for years. You inspired me to fish out A Room with a View from my bookshelf, i am going to read it again. I just read the first chapter and it's hilarious! The palaver about Mr Emerson offering Lucy and Charlotte their rooms and i can totally hear Maggie Smith's voice about how improper it would be fir them to accept! And Mr Beebe explaining that Mr Emerson is such a peculiar man because he says exactly what he means and "it is so difficult ... to understand people who speak the truth". Love it.

I hope you enjoyed your stroll.

🌻birdy

[Hanna3]

Hi Birdy (and Moon!) I'm not sure why it is when I hit "reply"I lose sight of the post I was replying to! I'm still trying to work out navigating this place! So glad you were motivated to get out your copy of Room with a View I agree it was georgeous - the outrage at the two women taking the men's hotel room I remember well! Have you watched the movie Heat and Dust which was also Merchant & Ivory, it's old now but it was stunning - I got a used copy off eBay. Now you've motivated me to watch it again!

Have you read The Jewel in the Crown - that was a superb TV series! Now I'm showing my age I think...

We had a quick walk as I had to ring an elderly friend in another city to chat for a while - she is 91 and pretty much housebound so we try to talk once a week for a while. I'm watching the old detective series "Cracker" at the moment and am about to try the last DVD of it the library has. What would I do without libraries?

Sam's off to be washed and clipped tomorrow before the worst of the heat sets in I'm dreading the rest of summer!

Did you see the movie of The Guernsy Literary & Potato Peel Pie Society? The critics didn't like it but when I saw it at the cinema I enjoyed it and so did anyone else I asked.

[Birdy77]

Dear Hanna,

How gorgeous does Sam look now after his clip yesterday? Does he feel nice and cool?

Do you like driving to that town or is it a chore?

I haven't seen Heat and Dust (dies that sound like your new town?), nor The Jewel in the Crown. I looked for both at my library, but they have neither. Worth looking for on dvd second hand?

No i didn't see the Guernsey movie, i should look for that. Who cares what the critics say, sometimes we just need a nice movie to watch!

How has your day been and how are you feeling? I bought a turntable stand from aldi, it was a complete wretched pain to put together, but it looks pretty cool now it's done. Ot's kinda 60s style and I've put my vinyls on it and my turntable. It looks a little bit groovy baby.

🌻birdy

[Moonstruck]

Hi Hanna...Jewel in the Crown is one of my all time very very favourite TV series.....brilliant in every way. I used to borrow it from Video Libraries (in the old days)...in VHS format...there were 5 different tapes...when they had a huge sale, I couldn't lose this wonderful series...so searched the huge piles of unwanted tapes until I had all five!

Now I have the set in DVD format........A Passage To India captivated me too...I wonder if my love of both films...has something to do with the magical time I spent in India when a very young girl....fascinating place.

Now the Best Exotic Marigold Hotel movies are great favourites of mine too.... ( Hi Birdy)

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hi birdy and moonstruck 🙂

Hanna - I simple love scandi noir ❤️ The Borgen and The Killing are amazing. Have you seen The Bridge?

I saw your post in the other section about having talked on the phone to an old friend and it maybe didn't feel very positive. I think sometimes we misinterpret things or we catch people when they're not at their best (she was either still drunk or hungover, right?) so I would try not to read too much into it. Easier said than done perhaps? If you've been friends a long time, your friendship can survive a few bumps along the way though. Stick with it, I say 🙂

Hope you and Sam have a nice day today and he's feeling a bit cooler after being clipped. It's another warm one here today and my staffy, Storm, is in front the fan. I hope to take her for a swim later.

Kind thoughts, Katy

[quirkywords]

Hana, and waves to everyone reading,

I absolutely loved this movie The Guernsy Literary & Potato Peel Pie Society.

Have you seen The good Karma hospital?

I love the photograph of your dog.

Quirky

[Hanna3]

Hi Birdy, I drove to a neighbouring small town for a good groomer, she's lovely but moving to Queensland to live but at least Sam's fur is now nice and short and he seems to feel cooler just in time for this awful heatwave. It's a depressing drive through the drought, everything is dead everywhere you live - including much of the town, shops boarded up etc - people I asked said the last year of drought has been the last straw, farmers have no money to spend etc.

Do look for Heat and Dust on Ebay I got it second hand that way, Greta Scacchi in her first ever starring role (? did I get the spelling of her name correct) and it's such a lovely movie. The Jewel in the Crown was a huge hit T series years ago and it took me years to find a used copy of it so it's very hard to find now, at least to play in region 4 (Australia).

A friend going to Sydney has offered me her house with aircon for two of the worst days of the heatwave thank goodness I didn't know how we were going to get through it. Tonight is stiflingly hot.

Thanks for posting to me!