Loss of identity, independence and withdrawn

[Chunty]

Hi lovely people. I am experiencing the above title. Im wondering if this is a common feeling. I have chosen to withdraw from outsides,as it is my way of survival. Would like some thoughts and views of others who feel the same way I do. Take care lovely beings. Chunty

[Goldwing03]

Dear Chunty,

Lockdown has been making me feel this exact same way! My family and friends have been telling me that I've been withdrawn and unenthusiastic. I think that especially during the pandemic- this is totally normal. You're definitely not the only one. But I've recently started little self-care nights which I do once or twice a week where I force myself to reach out to a loved one.

It's really important to facetime a friend, send a quick text and have a conversation with your family. I know sometimes this is hard to do! But it always makes me feel 100 times better and also reconnects me to my identity.

Hope this helps!

[Chunty]

Hello Goldwing, Thank you for your post. I just have one friend who is sincere and hears me out and is well meaning. Other than that, I dont know who I am anymore. I am watched, by the one person. Im totally trapped and helpless. All I know is Im very depressed. Take care kind person and God Bless You.

[Goldwing03]

Dear Chunty,

I can assure you that there is more than one person who is interested in your well-being! I think sometimes you can fall into a vicious cycle of self-loathing and convince yourself that people do not love you and then self-sabotage relationships by withdrawing. This is not always the case however, it's just something I've noticed.

It's good that you have one person at the moment you can trust. I think it's important to expand your support system. I recommend talking to a trusted GP, or a therapist if you find that your negative thoughts are overwhelming.

Take care of yourself ❤️

[Chunty]

Thank you Dear Goldwing. I do have a Psychologist. She is very kind and she uses hypnosis to get rid of negative energies around me. Its good while it last, but I have to be that particular person because Im totally reliant on him for my needs.My Psychiatrist yelled at me when i phoned and pleaded of him to increase my meds.to stop me from acting out thru frustration. Im now submissive and withdrawn so I can survive and have peace.You are a kind and understanding being. God Bless You. Chunty

[Goldwing03]

Dear Chunty:

Things will get better, I promise. Here if you need anything else 🙂

[Chunty]

Hello Petal, Thank you for your post. I have lost my independence because Im stuck with a debilitating disease that has left me to be totally reliant on others for my needs. Im grieving for my loss. Ive loss my identity because my carer and friend has got total controll over me. He is helping me but it is an emotional price to pay. There is always the threat of nursing home which im terrified of, so l have to play the game. I can write this here as it is safe. Imnvrry grateful forwhat he is doing for me, but im very depressed and have to rely on medication to calm me down and not lash out thru frustration. So that is how im coping. Im literally alone with no family support. I love Jesus. He keeps me going and my darling cat Merryweather. God Bless you dear Petal and take care. Chunty

[Sophie_M]

Hi chunty,

We’re really sorry to hear about the loss of independence you’re feeling. We’re glad you could share this here, and we hope the kind words of our community bring you some comfort. Please know that we’re here for you.

While your friend assists you, you should always be treated with respect, and you should always feel safe. If you do not feel properly supported, you should reach out to someone in your treatment team, or to the Disability Gateway on 1800 643 787 (Monday to Friday, 8am to 8pm AEST). If you ever feel unsafe, the number to call is 000. Assisted living, or nursing facilities should not be suggested as a “threat”, please know that your treatment team should act on your best interests and will take account of your preferences.

If at any point you want to talk through how you’re feeling, our lovely counsellors are here for you on 1300 22 4636.

Please feel free to keep sharing if you feel comfortable. We’re sure some of our lovely community members will be here soon with further understanding and advice.

Kind regards,

Sophie M

[Chunty]

Hi Sophie, Than you for your kind words and referral to Disability Gateway. My psychiatrist left me feeling like I was on a guilt trip, reminding me and reinforcing how much my carer is doing for me. Since Ive been on the medn. Ive been quiet, submissive, constantly aopologising for every inconvenience that I cause. Im tired of this existence. Im trying to make the rest of my life peaceful, but I dont seem to get it. I have emailed my psychologist and she agreed she will see me alone. Im trying my best not to be difficult or abusive. Im just luckly that the medication stops my anxiety, and controlls my frustrations and acting out behaviour. It is the worst thing in the word to be reliant on others for your needs. Im always on guard re controlling my behaviour. I feel Im always crawling, tensed and frightened. Im glad i can release my feelings in the safe environment of the community.

[Petal22]

Hi Chunty,

Sorry to hear you have a debilitating disease I can understand how that would effect your independence…..

Is your carer and friend nice to you?

I understand how it would feel to have the threat of a nursing home….

I understand how you would be grieving the loss of your independence that would be hard……..

Im glad you love Jesus and your cat…

Im sorry you have no family support…

Please chat to us anytime time here in this forum, we are here to support you..

[Chunty]

Hello Petal 22, Thank you for your comforting and encouraging comments. I was upset 2 days ago as the male nurse spoke to me in a demeaning snd condesending manner when i told him of the pain I was experiencing. I felt he was insinuating i was faking it. Luckily I contacted the Movement Disorder Nurse and she said that dystonic pain is painful and she is going to talk to a neurologist to get some help. Im ok today as the paim meds are working and its a nice day. I get very sensitive very easily and it upsets me all day. Are you like that as well? How do you deal wth such situations. I find that some of the health professionals react negatively with patients with psychiatric history. They dont seem to realize that mental condtions are painful. Tell me about yourself, if you want to.. Take care and God Bless You. You are a kind caring person. Chunty.