It's been a while

[tleev]

Hi,

It's been a while since I posted here. Feelings that I've felt I've had under control are out of hand. I'm feeling constantly stressed and worried. The slightest thing sets me off to anger and then tears. I beat myself up saying I should be stronger but I can't keep up the front. My partner is out of work, I'm on reduced hours, money is so tight and I've got medical issues. I tell my friends but I feel they don't know what else to say or do. I know there are people who are going through a rough time too. And I know I should be grateful for what I have but it's all too hard at the moment.

[smallwolf]

Hi and welcome back.

I agree with you there are other people going through a rough time at the moment but that does not invalidate the feelings and thoughts you have. You are allowed to have the feelings you have. I suppose that with reduced hours you get more time to think about the problems, whatever they are.

There was a period of time recently I had to work from home. That by the way was where my own problems started. That is ignoring the work/home boundaries. Anyway, without anyone to talk to, my mind would go back to where it was a couple of years ago.

I suppose the question I have for you is whether you have or remember your distraction and coping techniques?

If not, you could also look for the threads on mindfulness and grounding on the forums here. There are also some apps you could install on your phone if you are interested.

Lastly on the money side ... If you cannot talk to your bank manager, or financial counsellor, consider giving the national debt helpline a call. Perhaps a good starting point is...

hhttps://ndh.org.au/debt-problems/covid19/

which includes links to other sites for rent, rates, government assistance.

Hope that helps.

Tim

[Jesicca]

Hi tleev,

I understand how stressful it is at the moment to be facing money struggles. Do you have any family that you can ask for some financial support from until you get back on your feet? I have recently been dismissed from work and something that helped me feel a little less stressed was asking my parents for some support.

I know when there is a lot on your plate it can sometimes feel like nothing is going right and for me personally this is when I experience similar things to you such as feeling angry and crying often. Something that is helping me at this current time is writing a gratitude journal before bed. I write down 3 things I am grateful for that day. I know it might not seem like there is a lot to be grateful for when things are really tough but for me this could be as simple as feeling grateful for: eating oats in the morning as it is my favourite breakfast, having access to water that day, my legs that made me capable of going for a walk that day or my boyfriend for choosing to be with me.

Other useful things I implement into my day is a daily walk around the block that ranges anywhere from 5-60 minutes because its refreshing getting into nature and fresh air, trying to eat as healthy as possible but also eating a small desert every single night (such as a Tim tam or 2, a piece of chocolate or a piece of fruit) because it reminds me in a way that I am worthy of treating my body in conjunction to looking after it and being healthy. I think by treating my body this way it reminds me that my mind deserves this too and so when I catch myself beating myself up such as you have mentioned I am able to come back to this idea that my body and my mind deserve looking after.

Just because other people are going through a hard time doesn't change the fact that you are too. During this time when you have less hours at work it is a great idea to utilise your free time productively because otherwise it is easy to spend lots of time alone, at least for me personally. It is a great idea to reach out to friends, make time to have a date night with your partner each week (this doesn't have to be expensive it could just be watching a movie and putting your phones away for a few hours so you spend time together), make plans to visit your family once a week or fortnight or do something consistently each week (e.g. a long walk every Sunday) because a sense of routine is helpful in bringing security to your life when you might be lacking it in other places.

[tleev]

Thank you Tim. Those are some good points to consider.

[tleev]

Thank you for the ideas Jesicca. Some things that I hadn't thought of and to try.