It's been a big year.....

[Packman]

Hi everyone, I'm having a bit of tough time at the moment and have been encouraged to talk to someone about what is going on.. This counts yeah??

I've always been a secretly anxious person. I'm outwardly confident but beat myself up over little things that no one remembers. I love public speaking but often find simple exchanges between even a shop keeper absolutely crippling. It is almost like a secret shame.

I had a run in with full blown anxiety about 3 years ago due to work related stress. I dealt with it by talking to my work, changing certain conditions and telling my friends/family and wife what was going on. I felt better within months with a few minor tripping points. I didn't see a professional because I'm a early 30 year old male and only go to the doctors if I'm missing a limb.

So back to the title. The last year. We were lucky enough to welcome our beautiful daughter into the world. My wife and daughter needed a lot of care afterwards and I worked my butt off caring for my two girls. My wife recovered well and my daughter is now over her health issues, that although minor, often played on my mind. When I went back to work and life started to get back to "normal", I struggled mentally. I just felt flat and numb for no reason.

Things were looking up when I managed to break my ankle.More time off work and then I felt like a burden. My physical limitations made me feel worthless, I couldn't contribute around the house. After a long road of recovery physically and mentally things were looking up when.... my wife severely hurt her leg.

i have been the full time carer again for my wife and daughter as my wife has not been able to walk for almost 2 months. I have not coped with this situation and feel like I am decending into some type of manic anxiety. I have not been the easiest person to live with but am trying my best to hold it together. I failed miserably this morning, and did nothing but cry and stress about every minor decision. I want to support my family but I just feel like I am failing and I know they deserve better. I am returning back to work next week and am really concerned how I will cope while juggling everything. I know I need to be strong but I just feel empty and the thought of uncontrollable situations (example - life outside my house!) is terrifying me...

So why post??? I don't know really but I know I need support and I already feel better for writing it down.

Cheers..

[Dr_Kim]

Hi Pakman

In many ways I think you have acknowledged and answered your question in your post .

It seems to me that you have a history of anxiety which is no shame as you are in good company! About 10% of our population is having similar issues at this very moment.

You have been doing a great job in trying to manage your inner world in your own and through some big issues .. like having a baby , health issues - your daughters , your wife's and your own.

Anxiety is a tough and vicious emotional master at times and those who have it to any great degree really need to learn skills to keep it to a minimum or it makes for a pretty uncomfortable life.

So what are those skills and how do you learn them ?

Well there is no " one size fits all" in anxiety management. This is where a good GP or therapist can really help . For you it may be the lifestyle factors that really help - exercise or diet ., or maybe really getting into Mindfulness training ( apps like Headspace or Smiling Mind) or group classes. Or you may be better with cognitive work via a therapist, or reading it and doing it yourself ( try Sarah Edelman , Change Your Thinking) .

Please get guidance with a good GP as to what YOUR best path is . You have had many stresses lately and I'm not surprised your anxiety has kicked it up a notch or two .

It is treatable, with help.

If you don't have a GP , look for one in the Beyond Blue Website .

[Packman]

Thanks Dr Kim,

I have spent the last couple of days reading these boards and other resources and I don't think it is a coincidence that I have had my best couple of days in a while. Thanks for reminding me that I know the answer. Sometimes it is just hard to see the forest from the trees.

Cheers.

[geoff]

hello Packman, it's always different to reply to a post from someone when our Dr. Kim has replied and offered great advice, just remember you now have a family and in time you will be able to help each other in difficult times, because what happens is the person who is struggling will need the help from the other two people, although your baby girl is so small and young, but she will learn a great deal from you and your wife.
Public speaking is something that most of us don't feel comfortable with, so well done, but realise at the moment it might not be something you want to do, you need to look after yourself, because if you're not strong enough then you won't be able to your wife and your little daughter. Geoff.