Introduction and some thoughts on spiteful Accountants

[Steve007]

Hi all, first time here, not quite sure how all this works but ill give it a go.

Background:

Australian male. Mid 50's, Diagnosed PB2, GAD, cPTSD you name it. I've given up on diagnosis, doesn't really matter anymore. Prior to COVID a very high functioning individual (probably ADHD + on the Spectrum). Former multiple small business owner, employed small Teams, paid Taxes, the works. Managed to get married, had a couple of children and life was pretty awesome and well functioning. Long story short, COVID # 2 wiped me out. Had to close business, lay off people, it is all pretty tragic. Amongst all this, wife left with children, financial ruin and 20 x inpatient Psychiatric Hospital Admissions and Sectioned once, here i am. I'm a shell of the former self, isolated and also have a Substance Use Disorder (Alcohol). Obvious to those with Mental Health issues, when everything gets so crappy all day everyday, i reach for some kind of short relief. Alcohol. Argue which came first, whatever, doesn't matter. No pity required, it is what it is. It all started as a child, maybe 5y.o. with chronic anxiety, panic attacks (no such term back then), developed over the years into crippling Agoraphobia in teen years, Depression and again stuff happened. I survived.

So the current dilemma.

I have a CPA who has been my Accountant for 20years. I even got him started lol. Though all my small businesses, and personal Accounts. His ex wife had 'Bi-Polar' years and years ago, divorced her and the stories about her and her mental illness struggles flowed over the years with sarcasm and ridicule. Basically bigoted rubbish (Clue #1). Then my wife left, he knew her blah blah and i ended up coming out of the closet so to speak. Full honesty to all. Quite relieving actually. But, my accountant only knows the rumor version of me, the super bad things, over the years taking snipes at me, poking fun even. It has become worse and worse. Such misunderstanding i am used to by now, but still astonishes me the naivety he displays and grief it causes me. Currently doing 2023-24, 24-25 tax. He bothers me no end with stupid questions about $20 transactions, again snide remarks "is that the couple schooners from the pub"... and absolutely outrageous invoices. Like $10,000 bills. Can't sack him, too entwined. Until now. I've not worked for a couple years, not Traded for the same and i instructed him to properly adjust the accounts (Asset Register) and the like which he failed to do over the years. $20 transactions, i tell him to put against my Loan Account - don't care. I'm struggling to survive, not data entry on MYOB.

So, has anyone had similar experience with Accountants. Even being taken advantage of (outrageous Fees)? I'm ready to dump him finally. Anyone have recommendations for 'understanding Mental Health Accountants' in Australia??

Much appreciated 

[Steve007]

Man, so similar we are. Taking the high road as you have to, has cost me dearly. Same same, self employed, since 2001. I cannot follow others orders which i think are ridiculous, 'performance reviews' (ridiculous) and take advantage of me endlessly. I worked harder in my own business (too hard), self managing time, cost, accountability blah blah blah without some di*k watching his clock if i left early. The same di*k who did not care if i spent all weekend working. Nope, not happening. And 'performance reviews' - why would i sit there listening to some idiot giving me his opinion of me. Seriously... I don't know how people do it. Job applications (i tried a couple of years ago) = how to get your self confidence and worth absolutely trashed in 1 week of no replies. Jobs so 'junior' (sorry to use that word) because i became desperate and needed a low key, low brain, low stress environment. Nope, same never a reply received.

"Super Experienced person needed for xyz job..". The prevailing thought seems to be "we actually want super experienced 23y.o's with 12years of experience and every qualification under the sun..". I have all that, except i'm not 23y.o. and no 23y.o. would ever fit the criteria. Strange, but no use yelling at the clouds.

Marriage... same same. No Lawyers, no Courts, No Custody Orders on Kids, no garnishing of my pay till 18y.o., no spousal support.... The proverbial action of "i got completely reamed without protest. The price? A ginormous one off ill inclusive, very cent and asset i had. All because 1. i needed to get over it as soon as humanly possible, which i did. Tick. 2. I really did look after my 'kids at the time', and really did do all that 'in their best interest'. As with you... Voilà! The best 2 men i could ever ask for, my teachings along the way are evident to me, despite the 'payout' i still payed for every single expense and 2 x more for other stuff and never ask for a cent from the ex. We stayed respectful infront of the kids, never argued blah blah blah. Never told the boys about the 'truth' either. Never talked about all this until now. Ive sparked a few tears actually.
Whilst i have finally succumbed to my MH issues that i battled my whole life and worked with my whole life. The very very significant decisions i took back then smashed me, but i didn't care, the reasons only know. To me, internally it gave me some solace that i was a stand up Dad and at all times did the best i could possibly do for my sons. More so, the concept of all that money bought their Mum a really nice Mc Mansion they would be safe in and Mortgage free, she only needed to earn SFA a week to pay for food and the like (which i also paid for anyway lol). What a train wreck i realise now i write it, telling for the first time in my life.... more tears.... fk!

Anyway, Tax dude left me $500, unjust, unfair? Yep yep and yep. But i've learned over the years to get over that stuff ASAP. Hate, bitterness and all that crap would have seen me gone a decade ago if i didn't adopt that approach.

[randomxx]

Yeah , there's so many people right here even on BB dealing with those d'ks you talk about. l can only imagine thankfully l've never had the pleasure , not. But l feel so bad for them it sounds mad these days and another thing really strikes me reading their stuff is that there's seems zero good will.

l always think My god, if that's what it's like in this country now l'm ashamed.

But yeah, the other stuff, it's not easy, l never talked about it either apart from a little around BB here in a situation like this or the odd counsellor back when but rarely even that.  Best not even go there l find for myself.

But l hope your ex and kids well, nother story l know but ex anyway, appreciated it or at least that one day she will.

Funny, well not really but he left you 500 eh, what a hero God bless him right.

Well, after about 3yrs in business l'd been dodging it all and so l thought ok, l'm going to an acc't l'll throw it on his desk and he can sort it, he'll prob get me a heap back anyway- HA, yeah, right.

Think l wound up with about the same, he bloody took it all just tangled it all up into his lingo bs so that l couldn't know wth he was on about and l left the building in disgust- which he probably calculated too.

But that was it. Hear all these stories of guys with these great accountants making them 1000s, yeah right, well not me anyway. Never went to another one again.  l came up with my own system which to this day l'm still really proud of only thing is l could never tell anyone damn it.

l still have a chuckle about it though. 

All the best anyway eh.

rx

[Scared]

Hello mate I understand what it feels like to be needing trusted help when we cannot defend ourselves at the time.

Your a mans man and self making man so you deserve to hear this straight.

Alcohol needs to go now.  You know it I know it.  I understand its the only thing thats doing any good at the moment. I get it.  But you are in business right now.

In the business of regaining your life and this may be the hardest of all businesses.

But you know we cant take an alcoholic with us on serious business so you as Captain needs to take the helm.

Yes I do have accountant in Sydney who is now after doing 10 years of my back taxes very aware of the severity of crippling anxiety and depression. Steven my accountant took some time to understand my fears of ATO even tho I didnt owe anything but still you cant calm anxiety with common sense.

I too needed a stimulant during that time and gave it the boot after my last teturn was done.

I lost the use of my legs due to anxiety as they were like rubber and buckling as I walked.

So yes there are good accountants whom been in the game a very long time that are known by the ATO.

But you got to get ready to receive a new accountant and drop the bottle or at least cut it right down.

You have all the answers the same input you gave your businesses simply needs to be redirected into the business if you which is your most important asset you own.

[Steve007]

This place is excellent therapy. I composed a 3 page novel reply in Word that took several hours. Too long to post i am sure. I've done it multiple times actually and never posted. That said, they have always been very therapeutic exercises. Never a 'waste of my time. To things down on 'paper' rather than in my head is very powerful, even is no-one ever sees it.

[Steve007]

@scared thanks for your post. I'm an old bloke now and have heard every possible opinion and had every possible dagger thrown at me during my life. Heard it approximately 59,825,425 times and 28,090,888 daggers thrown. Fortunately, daggers bounce off me and opinions are just opinions. My former ‘in-laws’ were the same. They were born in 1946. Actually, everyone in my life was the same. Meh, their issues and opinions of me are ‘their problems, not mine’ now. Rarely even think of them now.

As this is the case, I can spot these same ‘ol assertions guised within a greater narrative from a mile away. It’s just wrapped up in different shiny paper and a different coloured big bow to look new. Meh.. I take the high road these days and don’t bother to return serve with similar guised insinuations. Very easy to do mind you, copy your post, swap you for me, swap your issues from mine and voila! But… I gave up on all that childish nonsense years and years ago. It even made my ex-wife bored enough to stop harassing me.

No ill will on my side. All good here. I shall assume you had the best intentions.

Tks

Steve