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Sophie_M Meet your community champions!
  • replies: 10

Hi everyone, We wanted to share with you the way that our wonderful Community Champions are here to support you. You may have noticed that a few of our Forums members are labelled ‘Community Champion’. Community Champions are volunteers within the Be... View more

Hi everyone, We wanted to share with you the way that our wonderful Community Champions are here to support you. You may have noticed that a few of our Forums members are labelled ‘Community Champion’. Community Champions are volunteers within the Beyond Blue Forums who: have the time, skills and empathy to support other members regularly; help to welcome new members; are actively engaged members that help set the tone of our community. Our Community Champions are regular contributors to many conversations across the forums. They are a consistent and friendly voice that have committed to sharing their experience and expertise with this community. They are not health care professionals or clinicians. Like you, they have an experience with a mental health challenge or diagnosis – either for themselves or someone they care for. This forum is for people who understand what it feels like and have a lived and living experience of mental health challenges. Our Community Champions help everyone feel comfortable and confident by demonstrating what excellent peer support is all about. Click here to find out more about how you can become a Community Champion! This incredible team are excited to introduce themselves below, and we are sure you’ll see them around the forums in conversations important to you.

Aaronsis HELP..Am I posting in the right section?
  • replies: 10

Welcome to those who are considering posting for the very first time, welcome. Thought I would repost part of the words that Chris B posted awhile ago, (2014) as I can hear that people are unsure if they are posting in the right section or worried th... View more

Welcome to those who are considering posting for the very first time, welcome. Thought I would repost part of the words that Chris B posted awhile ago, (2014) as I can hear that people are unsure if they are posting in the right section or worried that they are posting "the wrong thing". 1.A good title makes the difference Just like a headline in a newspaper, when scanning the dozens of threads to click into, it’s only natural that people will choose the ones that resonate with them most. A title that entices the reader, or asks a question, is likely to get a better result than something non-descriptive like “Depression” or “I don't know what to do”. If you think you’re not good at choosing titles, leave it till last. Spend time writing your post, then perhaps choose a sentence from what you’ve written as the title. 2.Join in threads that have already been posted We all have our own unique stories, but part of the reason for joining a forum like this one is because you know that you will have a lot in common with others who are posting. Before starting a new thread, have a look through the current topics being discussed and see if there’s a conversation you can join in with. It can be quite common to have a handful of very similar threads happening at any one time, with members seemingly unaware that there are others right there who are going through the same thing. Talking to other members on their threads is a great way of getting yourself known so that when you post a thread of your own, people may respond quicker because they recognize your name. 3.Choose the most appropriate section for your post Many people browse the forums looking for stories specifically to do with pregnancy and parenting, employment, grief, loss, separation etc. Going straight for the “Depression” section may seem like the easiest option, but this section is often the busiest, so your post is more likely to get lost among the threads. Making good use of the different forum sections not only helps keep the forum relevant, but you’re more likely to find others who are going through the same experiences as you. Also, if you're wanting to discuss issues of trauma, abuse, suicidal thoughts or self-harm, it's really important you post in the designated section to avoid triggering others who may not wish to read about these topics. Mostly..just come and chat, we are here for you. Our amazing wizards in the background will see your message ends up in the right spot. Sarah

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On The Road Suddenly feel insufferably lonely
  • replies: 57

this is how I feel right now, not sure if this is the best place to post this... these kinds of intrusive thoughts are scary, they are not the facts but they are linked to reality. Because I'm really lonely.

this is how I feel right now, not sure if this is the best place to post this... these kinds of intrusive thoughts are scary, they are not the facts but they are linked to reality. Because I'm really lonely.

Guest_53962359 Lonely and Depressed
  • replies: 2

Hi new to this forum, I’m 56 male happily married with two adult children but no friends. 7 years ago we moved interstate and since then I haven’t been able to find new friends. I feel I’m putting a lot of pressure on my wife as she is all I have. I ... View more

Hi new to this forum, I’m 56 male happily married with two adult children but no friends. 7 years ago we moved interstate and since then I haven’t been able to find new friends. I feel I’m putting a lot of pressure on my wife as she is all I have. I have lost both parents and have no family to speak to. My mental health has suffered in the last few years and was recently diagnosed by my GP as having depression and anxiety. I feel when people try to talk to me at work I just put up these barriers and want nothing to do with them. My physical health has declined in recent months with back problems, bowel and erectile dysfunction which doesn’t help my mental health. I just don’t know what to do

Guest_13628286 I'm so lonely
  • replies: 2

Not entirely sure if I should just dump everything at once but, here goes.I'm a man in my early thirties with no close friends, no career nor job, no partner and what is feeling like no future as the days keep on just sliding by. I live with my lovin... View more

Not entirely sure if I should just dump everything at once but, here goes.I'm a man in my early thirties with no close friends, no career nor job, no partner and what is feeling like no future as the days keep on just sliding by. I live with my loving and supportive parents, but all of my family isn't interested in things I am, so I can only be excited by the things I like alone, with nobody to really talk to about things I enjoy.I don't know how to make friends, since the last time I did was almost 15 years ago now, and even then, I couldn't keep them lasting. I've also had one girlfriend, but she was long distance and we never even got to hug, despite being together for almost a year. I've also had shots with multiple women, but fumbled or didn't pick up the signals, so nothing happened.All I want are friends I can play games with and nerd out over things together with some pizza or something. I'm going to be extremely alone this Christmas as well, since all my family is going away on holidays and it'll be the first Christmas I'll ever be alone truly on.I feel like no matter how hard I try, I'm destined to die alone. I cope by playing games solo, watching videos and consuming adult content just to drown out the painful thoughts and feelings. I've been trying to become an apprentice baker for months now, studying at tafe and applying for jobs, but nobodies hiring me. I've been working on my physical fitness and sense of fashion, but I'm still invisible and can't push as hard as others do. I've even been trying to socialise more and I get along with most people easily enough, but nothing ever hooks or clicks enough for them to ask me to join them for something, nor do I feel comfortable inviting myself into an event and hosting terrifies me. Past trauma and events make even considering the attempt at trying that horrifying, so I permanently have this impression in my head that I'm unwanted and annoying, even if I know the opposite to be true.I don't know... I feel like if I drank alcohol and liked sports like most other Aussies, I'd be married, have a career and kids by now. Instead, I'm in the same bedroom I've lived in for 20 years and sitting at my computer at midnight on a Saturday night typing this out instead of cuddling a lover or laughing with friends. I wish there was more sober places to hang out and meet people, but they all seem formal or sports focused. It's too expensive and taboo to just want to live happily and comfortable these days.

Kahlzun Stuck Single, and every day is harder
  • replies: 4

I have never been great at the people side of things. I grew up an outsider, bullied and cripplingly alone, and I internalised a lot of that loneliness into my identity. I convinced myself that I didn't need other people, that I didn't belong around ... View more

I have never been great at the people side of things. I grew up an outsider, bullied and cripplingly alone, and I internalised a lot of that loneliness into my identity. I convinced myself that I didn't need other people, that I didn't belong around them. Thankfully, being part of a large family helped keep me grounded, and I grew out of much of these thoughts, but still carried this idea of being somehow independent of others. I've had two long-term relationships, one ended in the sudden death of my wife, and the other suddenly dumped me earlier this year in favour of a different guy. I've been slowly crawling my way out of the pain of rejection and abandonment, and I am finding myself very alone. My friends are slowly drawing away from me, gradually responding less and less to my messages. I've had very little luck with the online dating, none of my friends are able to (or maybe willing to?) introduce me to their single friends, and I don't know how to meet people organically. I'm autistic, so I find engaging with social activities to be daunting at best, which greatly limits my opportunities for meeting people organically.. And it just is starting to all pile up. I've been trying. I've been trying really hard, but I just don't feel like I'm making any progress anymore and it's starting to feel increasingly hopeless. And despite my previous beliefs in my independence, I'm finding that I am desperately needing company in ways that I never did before.

Widow52 Widowhood
  • replies: 2

Hello to anyone who is reading this. I never thought I would have the courage to reach out. I have been grieving the loss of my dear husband for almost 3 years. He died 7 days before Xmas. Each day is a struggle. Families are busy, friends are few; s... View more

Hello to anyone who is reading this. I never thought I would have the courage to reach out. I have been grieving the loss of my dear husband for almost 3 years. He died 7 days before Xmas. Each day is a struggle. Families are busy, friends are few; so life is difficult. Sometimes I’m strong and other times I’m very sad. Remembering what we had for 52 yrs has been taken away by his terminal illness. I was his carer for the 14 months that it took for death to eventually take him. At least I had him with me then.

Lighthorse72 Not sure what I'm doing
  • replies: 1

HiA wonderful Christian friend who is like a father figure to suggested I look at support forums.I screwed my life up really badly at the start of this year and only through the grace of God and Him stopping me from ending my life I am still here.I a... View more

HiA wonderful Christian friend who is like a father figure to suggested I look at support forums.I screwed my life up really badly at the start of this year and only through the grace of God and Him stopping me from ending my life I am still here.I am also still getting over the loss of my wonderful fiancée just over 2 years ago.Point blank - I have managed to screw my life up for a while, I haven't had contact with my children in nearly 13 years after stuffing my marriage up (it was pretty much over anyways) and being diagnosed with Dysthymia and possibly undiagnosed PTSD from a rotten childhood.I am living on my own, lonely and find it very hard to make and keep meaningful friendships and relationships. I struggle to let people get really close to me.Apart from Church activities, I don't go out to socialise as I hate crowded places.That's me in a nutshell!

EsCee Lonely but not alone
  • replies: 3

HiThis is my first post. I'm surrounded by people in my job, I am a single mum of 2 teens but I gave up everything I dreamed of to get married and have kids. I've given it my all and am now a single mum and the 2 teens are at that typical teenage sta... View more

HiThis is my first post. I'm surrounded by people in my job, I am a single mum of 2 teens but I gave up everything I dreamed of to get married and have kids. I've given it my all and am now a single mum and the 2 teens are at that typical teenage stage. I don't take their attitude as personal but it does hurt and I can't set goals for myself because I can't afford it, or I feel guilty for doing something for myself.I used to love my job but leadership is new and doesn't value my contribution. I will move at the end of the year but it means starting new and having to build new relationships and trust in the new organisation. I have friends but feel like they are superficial not deep and understanding friendships. I am rarely alone but feel empty and lonely.

Shanks I don’t really know what to say
  • replies: 6

I don’t really know what to say on here. Guess I’m here to just say hi and that I’m tired of being sad all the time and having no friends. I guess this is me trying to reach out and ask for help. I don’t really know anymore, I’m so lost.

I don’t really know what to say on here. Guess I’m here to just say hi and that I’m tired of being sad all the time and having no friends. I guess this is me trying to reach out and ask for help. I don’t really know anymore, I’m so lost.

ImaMommy Not a loser
  • replies: 4

I have started to feel such deep loneliness lately. I don't have family who are loving kind and trustworthy. I am raising my teenage children alone with no support from their fathers. I manage well mostly however my depression and feelings of despair... View more

I have started to feel such deep loneliness lately. I don't have family who are loving kind and trustworthy. I am raising my teenage children alone with no support from their fathers. I manage well mostly however my depression and feelings of despair have been really cruel and isolating. My youngest child has behavioural issues which are highly upsetting. I don't have anyone to step in and say "listen to your mother, she loves you and wants the best for you". I'm trying to break generations of abuse, neglect and violence. This is my first post. I feel like a loser but I wanna stay alive. If someone else I knew needed this space, I wouldn't think they were a loser. I would tell them they are brave x

Dozer Adult ADHD & Co-morbidities
  • replies: 1

Hi, I was first diagnosed with PTSD, depression and anxiety in my late 40s. At the time I knew something wasn’t right and I took steps to find out what it was, how I got it and how do I fix it. After a few breakdowns and psychotherapy I was on the me... View more

Hi, I was first diagnosed with PTSD, depression and anxiety in my late 40s. At the time I knew something wasn’t right and I took steps to find out what it was, how I got it and how do I fix it. After a few breakdowns and psychotherapy I was on the mend and life went on swimmingly until about 2 years ago. The black dog snuck back in and life was turning to shit all over again. Earlier this year I wanted a complete review but finding a psychiatrist in regional Vic was a challenge and finding one for some immediate help was impossible. Immediate help from someone I knew of was only available as an in-patient in Melbourne. I thought I’d be back home in a few days. Wrong! Four weeks later after a complete assessment, change of medication (I’d been on the same thing for 15 years without review) and a treatment of TMS, I was home again. I also had a discharge report and referral to a psychologist, also in Melbourne. The efficacy of the TMS, albeit fantastic treatment, was short lived. Most recently, the degree of anxiety and depths of depression have been the worst they’ve been for 13 years. I had decided that I would admit myself to hospital again for remedial/top-up TMS under the same psychiatrist. I had discussed this with my psychologist and the admission booked for mid-October. And now the kicker! During this time I was assessed and diagnosed with ADHD and a report provided to my psychiatrist. I’m sorry about the long winded intro but this is where I am and I’m all at sea. The anxiety and noise in my head is becoming unbearable. I now see that a lot of what went on to get me to where I am now can be or is attributable to ADHD. But it doesn’t help much. My motivation levels are at an all time low, guilt and shame at an all time high and interest in anything that I previously found rewarding/pleasurable etc non-existent. I once had confidence that after further TMS, things would improve but a new diagnosis of ADHD has knocked that confidence on the head. I’m confused about the relationship between ADHD and the comorbidities I have and what treatments may be available. I have grave fears, yes, probably unfounded, that I’ll be stuck in the position I’m now in with crippling anxiety and depression. And whilst I have not had active thoughts in relation suicide, the thoughts of ‘stop the planet I want to get off’ are becoming stronger and louder. Basic things aren’t being done because I simply can’t do them - take a shower, take out the bins, do the lawns and tidy the garden, go out and get some groceries. I’m overwhelmed and can’t see a way out. Is there a way out? Once I thought I was better but all the bad stuff came back at me with a vengeance. I have fears that any improvement after hospital will be once again short lived and I’ll end up in a position worse than I’m in now. Is there help? Can my situation be improved? Will I be able to function normally? Can I return to a positive and fulfilling life?