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Pinned discussions

Sophie_M Meet your community champions!
  • replies: 10

Hi everyone, We wanted to share with you the way that our wonderful Community Champions are here to support you. You may have noticed that a few of our Forums members are labelled ‘Community Champion’. Community Champions are volunteers within the Be... View more

Hi everyone, We wanted to share with you the way that our wonderful Community Champions are here to support you. You may have noticed that a few of our Forums members are labelled ‘Community Champion’. Community Champions are volunteers within the Beyond Blue Forums who: have the time, skills and empathy to support other members regularly; help to welcome new members; are actively engaged members that help set the tone of our community. Our Community Champions are regular contributors to many conversations across the forums. They are a consistent and friendly voice that have committed to sharing their experience and expertise with this community. They are not health care professionals or clinicians. Like you, they have an experience with a mental health challenge or diagnosis – either for themselves or someone they care for. This forum is for people who understand what it feels like and have a lived and living experience of mental health challenges. Our Community Champions help everyone feel comfortable and confident by demonstrating what excellent peer support is all about. Click here to find out more about how you can become a Community Champion! This incredible team are excited to introduce themselves below, and we are sure you’ll see them around the forums in conversations important to you.

Aaronsis HELP..Am I posting in the right section?
  • replies: 10

Welcome to those who are considering posting for the very first time, welcome. Thought I would repost part of the words that Chris B posted awhile ago, (2014) as I can hear that people are unsure if they are posting in the right section or worried th... View more

Welcome to those who are considering posting for the very first time, welcome. Thought I would repost part of the words that Chris B posted awhile ago, (2014) as I can hear that people are unsure if they are posting in the right section or worried that they are posting "the wrong thing". 1.A good title makes the difference Just like a headline in a newspaper, when scanning the dozens of threads to click into, it’s only natural that people will choose the ones that resonate with them most. A title that entices the reader, or asks a question, is likely to get a better result than something non-descriptive like “Depression” or “I don't know what to do”. If you think you’re not good at choosing titles, leave it till last. Spend time writing your post, then perhaps choose a sentence from what you’ve written as the title. 2.Join in threads that have already been posted We all have our own unique stories, but part of the reason for joining a forum like this one is because you know that you will have a lot in common with others who are posting. Before starting a new thread, have a look through the current topics being discussed and see if there’s a conversation you can join in with. It can be quite common to have a handful of very similar threads happening at any one time, with members seemingly unaware that there are others right there who are going through the same thing. Talking to other members on their threads is a great way of getting yourself known so that when you post a thread of your own, people may respond quicker because they recognize your name. 3.Choose the most appropriate section for your post Many people browse the forums looking for stories specifically to do with pregnancy and parenting, employment, grief, loss, separation etc. Going straight for the “Depression” section may seem like the easiest option, but this section is often the busiest, so your post is more likely to get lost among the threads. Making good use of the different forum sections not only helps keep the forum relevant, but you’re more likely to find others who are going through the same experiences as you. Also, if you're wanting to discuss issues of trauma, abuse, suicidal thoughts or self-harm, it's really important you post in the designated section to avoid triggering others who may not wish to read about these topics. Mostly..just come and chat, we are here for you. Our amazing wizards in the background will see your message ends up in the right spot. Sarah

All discussions

Rose_Tattoo Parenting/Step-Parenting
  • replies: 7

I'm a 34yr old mum of 3 kids, 2 older kids from previous marriage and a new little one with my current partner. My marriage was a complete shamble. He ended up being a horrible man who played video games and ignored me so after 7 years I finally walk... View more

I'm a 34yr old mum of 3 kids, 2 older kids from previous marriage and a new little one with my current partner. My marriage was a complete shamble. He ended up being a horrible man who played video games and ignored me so after 7 years I finally walked away (our kids were 3yrs & 18months) at the time. I knew becoming a single mum with 2 little ones was going to be hard but it was the right decision. I raised my kids and in 2018 I met a guy who had a failed marriage also but no kids and we really hit it off, 4 years on and we have a 1yr old together but we are falling apart, unfortunately it all comes down to the way he 'step-parents' my older children. I am not overly strict at all - I have moments but I love watching kids just be kids and work out all the other stuff eventually. I find he constantly finds something wrong, it's becoming draining and mentally exhausting for me to watch. I try talking to him and explaining I don't want him to always focus on discipline and just relax,enjoy life/moments a bit more but nothing changes and now it's gotten to the point that his relationship with both children is dropping and his attitude is 'he tries but there's no point'. They are getting older now & just fight back most of the time which leads to fight after fight and im sick of being around it and/or in the middle of it. I'm frustrated because I love this man, more than I have loved anyone. he is a wonderful man, he works hard, he helps around the house & he just adores his little boy and gets involved with him with everything he can! It'll break my heart if one day I'll have to choose between my kids & my partner because I know I'll have to choose my kids but it hurts because my ex husband showed me what NOT to look for in a partner whereas he has such amazing qualities and that's hard to come by these days. I've tried many things.. I've tried letting him be the disciplinarian and me trying to 'follow his lead' as other forums have suggested but that just doesn't work, I get too emotional when I don't like the way he parents. I've tried letting him take a step back from being the step dad but that hurts me and makes me think what's the point if he won't be a consistent step parent - I don't believe you can go from 100% involved to 0% involved and that be okay. I'm at the end, I feel depressed and shit most days and when I hear an argument starting (daily) I feel like I just go further and further into my shell and lose myself just a little bit more.

VC2211 Single parent with 2 kids.....
  • replies: 1

Hi all, I am currently under a financial crisis because I cannot possibly go to get a job, and it will continue for another 2 years at least. I only have credit facility enough for my next 2 weeks of expense, and I already maxed out all my credit car... View more

Hi all, I am currently under a financial crisis because I cannot possibly go to get a job, and it will continue for another 2 years at least. I only have credit facility enough for my next 2 weeks of expense, and I already maxed out all my credit cards due to a long time small cash deficit each month (my income is not enough to cover my expense for a very long time) I am a very basic spender with very minimal spending but cost of living with 2 kids is really a lot. I hope to get some advice from you all - how can I get some income, when I have to take my kids to school and pick them up everyday? I found it almost impossible to do any jobs even Ubering... I am very stressed now because time is running out, I am not sure what can I do when my last few bucks is gone by a week a so!

Too_many_narcissists Narcissistic abuse
  • replies: 5

Hi All Just realised the man I divorced 4 yrs ago was a covert Narcissist. That means I suffered gas lighting, hoovering, passive aggression and Narcissistic rage. Does any one else identify ?

Hi All Just realised the man I divorced 4 yrs ago was a covert Narcissist. That means I suffered gas lighting, hoovering, passive aggression and Narcissistic rage. Does any one else identify ?

josh_ What to do next with myself
  • replies: 1

Currently just a bit stuck, everything has kind of just lost its meaning to me all of a sudden and have no motivation for anything whatsoever. As soon as i try to start something I switch off almost instantly.

Currently just a bit stuck, everything has kind of just lost its meaning to me all of a sudden and have no motivation for anything whatsoever. As soon as i try to start something I switch off almost instantly.

zues Advice
  • replies: 2

Hi I’m currently struggling and wanted to know what I can do. walking and keeping busy helps. But when I stop it just gets bad. thanks

Hi I’m currently struggling and wanted to know what I can do. walking and keeping busy helps. But when I stop it just gets bad. thanks

Mens_Amitti Just introducing myself, so salvete.
  • replies: 1

I'm new to this forum, so I am a little unsure of what to put in my introduction. I've got depression, bipolar, ADHD, epilepsy, paranoia, and a number of problems that I acquired over the years. While they are mostly under control, I also have been p... View more

I'm new to this forum, so I am a little unsure of what to put in my introduction. I've got depression, bipolar, ADHD, epilepsy, paranoia, and a number of problems that I acquired over the years. While they are mostly under control, I also have been put in a situation where I lost my job due to injury, my ex took my retirement payout and my son, and I am only still in a house because I was bailed out by my parents. While I would claim to have been never at fault, my mother has been instrumental in destroying every meaningful relationship I've had since the 90s, including one engagement and one marriage. I always grew up with the mindset that I should just be understanding of her, since that is what my father told me at a young age. I always tried to be strong, to ignore bad things and focus on the good, until one day I just snapped. I tried to end my life, but was talked down, by my neighbour, I tried to OD, and woke up 3 months later in hospital, I spent time at a mental health facility, and a psychiatrist helped me find meds to help. But I have always felt trapped by my overbearing mother, unable to escape (think of Mother-Pink Floyd). Once I needed financial help, I had to sell them my house else I would be homeless, so now I don't even have say over my home, since I just rent half of it. I have just lost all will to keep moving forward. I can't see any light at the end of the tunnel anymore. I'm just mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted. Every day I just go through the motions. Not sad, not happy, not angy, just existing. No sense of purpose or worth, self esteem, or sense of self. I occasionally get to see my son, and he is the only reason I can stave off suicidal thoughts. So, that's me. Pretty damaged any messed up. Though I always put on a smile and a happy facade when I go out, because social interaction is the only thing that keeps me going.

SmashyYaBox87 figuring things out
  • replies: 1

hi all, i'm not in to doing this express yourself sort of thing, but i've always been misbehaving and i'm 37yrs old with a family. life is good, yet i self destruct. I go from full devotion and focus to absolute self destruct. alcohol doesn't help. s... View more

hi all, i'm not in to doing this express yourself sort of thing, but i've always been misbehaving and i'm 37yrs old with a family. life is good, yet i self destruct. I go from full devotion and focus to absolute self destruct. alcohol doesn't help. sex drive goes through the roof, wife says she doesn't want to got to hospital because of it. i become obsessed with every hobby. i drink too much . i'm protective of my kids so much as to keep them away from a disturbed family that i was brought up with. reckon it would be good to see how other people cope or if im just being a sook

K_YM3 Pre-30 crisis
  • replies: 1

Hello, I am here because I feel very alone in my journey of life. No one seems to understand, no one has similar circumstances. I just want to know if this is all normal. I struggled with addictions in my teens/early 20s. I've been clean 5 years now.... View more

Hello, I am here because I feel very alone in my journey of life. No one seems to understand, no one has similar circumstances. I just want to know if this is all normal. I struggled with addictions in my teens/early 20s. I've been clean 5 years now. I started off studying something to get a different career. Found it didn't work with being a single parent. Ended up back in the same dead end career. Met an amazing partner. He works away during the week which is fine. I've re-started study in yet another different field so I can get a job in something more suitable to the family. Can't help but feel very alone lately though as I'm working in a job that doesn't have much human interaction. I'm forever running the household or children's activities outside of work. I crave attention from my partner but it's impossible when he works away and we only see each other for one day maybe night of the week as my roster usually collides with when he is home. Don't know what I'm doing here. Just want to know that this is normal I guess. Wanting different, not knowing how to achieve it etc. Over being where I am hating jobs, feeling lonely, but conflicted money wise to even leave the house aside from work. I dunno anymore

Nidh00g Feeling unable to connect with any other people
  • replies: 1

Alright, here we go... Hi... I'm not sure where to start but I've been living my life unable to connect to anyone in an emotional level. This extends not only to new people but also friends and families that's considered 'close'. My parents raised me... View more

Alright, here we go... Hi... I'm not sure where to start but I've been living my life unable to connect to anyone in an emotional level. This extends not only to new people but also friends and families that's considered 'close'. My parents raised me to never complain and used to ridicule my vulnerable moments by stating that 'you're just weak'. It makes me scared to ever show my feelings and saying no to people which always end up throwing me into a loop of overworking and burnouts. There's also my DID (or maybe my desire to have someone to talk to without being judged is the cause of my DID) that stops me from opening up to people because I've had someone calling me delusional for explaining it. Whenever I tried to explain who I truly am, it always ended in rejection that I just decided to give up. At one point I can no longer take it and decided to hurt myself which I fortunately, or unfortunately, survived. When I reached home that day the only thing I can do was laugh saying that I almost slipped off the bike due to lack of sleep, but to be honest I cried so much afterward asking why god still didn't allow me to die.

Apparentlyhotbutnot27 Keeps Coming Back: My Story
  • replies: 2

Let’s do this: My main issue / is lack of relationships, friendships & literally no intimacy over the last 20 -25 years. I had a horrible upbringing & probably suffered on a level that no kid should have to. I didn’t have any emotional support growin... View more

Let’s do this: My main issue / is lack of relationships, friendships & literally no intimacy over the last 20 -25 years. I had a horrible upbringing & probably suffered on a level that no kid should have to. I didn’t have any emotional support growing up, moved around alot. I basically educated myself on all aspects of life. which worked but didn't last long as you will read. I remember finishing school & soon after the house of cards came falling down. I'll never forget the anxiety for as long as I live. I never told anyone for 2 years but had to, as I knew I couldn’t go on anymore. I saw a Dr who put me on anti-depressants, which did SFA. I was too erractic to bother going back, so my condition stayed like this for another 3 years. I just faked being happy & tried my best to please everyone, knew that part well. Soon found alcohol & drugs & proceeded to run myself into oblivion for next 5 years. My family & friends were worried sick, so I’d behave for a few weeks then the cycle started again. The penny dropped after writing off two cars and narrowly avoiding jail time, so I decided to get help. It was fun at the time but boy was I was pretty loose, how I made it out alive i'll never know actually. I’ve thought about suicide a lot, still do. Something inside tells me to keep going, don’t know why but I’ve always decided to hang tough in the hope of it all being worth it someday. I've recently been diagnosed with ADHD (3 years ago) & am on medication, which has helped stabilse my life & I’ve made some improvements. I guess a lot of what’s driving this: Lack of intimacy. Nowhere near the amount i'd hoped & none since ADHD diagnosis either. I’ve had women find me attractive & I’ve had opportunities to date over the years but due to my situation, couldn't act on it them which is really sad. I've honestly tried my best but i'm ashamed, class myself as a joke. I know alot of people who know me would be shocked & couldn't imagine this happening to someone like myself. That wasn’t meant to sound arrogant either, sorry if it did. I've never been bitter & resentful towards others though, I’d love to use my experience to help young kids or adults dealing with whatever challenges they are facing, or may face one day. Guess it would do some good. I apologise for upsetting anyone with what’s been written & if some doesn’t make sense. Had to fight back tears whilst writing this & it’s taken longer that I thought it would.. Big thanks for letting me share today. JG.