Welcome and orientation

Welcome! If you’re not sure where to start, that’s OK. We’re keen to know more about you and what you’re looking for on our Forums.

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Pinned discussions

Aaronsis HELP..Am I posting in the right section?
  • replies: 10

Welcome to those who are considering posting for the very first time, welcome. Thought I would repost part of the words that Chris B posted awhile ago, (2014) as I can hear that people are unsure if they are posting in the right section or worried th... View more

Welcome to those who are considering posting for the very first time, welcome. Thought I would repost part of the words that Chris B posted awhile ago, (2014) as I can hear that people are unsure if they are posting in the right section or worried that they are posting "the wrong thing". 1.A good title makes the difference Just like a headline in a newspaper, when scanning the dozens of threads to click into, it’s only natural that people will choose the ones that resonate with them most. A title that entices the reader, or asks a question, is likely to get a better result than something non-descriptive like “Depression” or “I don't know what to do”. If you think you’re not good at choosing titles, leave it till last. Spend time writing your post, then perhaps choose a sentence from what you’ve written as the title. 2.Join in threads that have already been posted We all have our own unique stories, but part of the reason for joining a forum like this one is because you know that you will have a lot in common with others who are posting. Before starting a new thread, have a look through the current topics being discussed and see if there’s a conversation you can join in with. It can be quite common to have a handful of very similar threads happening at any one time, with members seemingly unaware that there are others right there who are going through the same thing. Talking to other members on their threads is a great way of getting yourself known so that when you post a thread of your own, people may respond quicker because they recognize your name. 3.Choose the most appropriate section for your post Many people browse the forums looking for stories specifically to do with pregnancy and parenting, employment, grief, loss, separation etc. Going straight for the “Depression” section may seem like the easiest option, but this section is often the busiest, so your post is more likely to get lost among the threads. Making good use of the different forum sections not only helps keep the forum relevant, but you’re more likely to find others who are going through the same experiences as you. Also, if you're wanting to discuss issues of trauma, abuse, suicidal thoughts or self-harm, it's really important you post in the designated section to avoid triggering others who may not wish to read about these topics. Mostly..just come and chat, we are here for you. Our amazing wizards in the background will see your message ends up in the right spot. Sarah

Chris_B Introducing...the community champions
  • replies: 22

Hi everyone, Some of you may have noticed that a few of our members are labelled ‘Community champion’ and have a beyondblue National Roadshow bus badge, like this: This thread explains who these members are and what they do. Community champions are v... View more

Hi everyone, Some of you may have noticed that a few of our members are labelled ‘Community champion’ and have a beyondblue National Roadshow bus badge, like this: This thread explains who these members are and what they do. Community champions are volunteers within the forums who: Have the time, skills and empathy to support other members Make an effort to welcome new members Are regularly and actively engaged members that help set the tone of our community as a place of hope and recovery. Click here to find out more about how you can become a Community Champion! As this is a peer support community that includes members under the age of 18, it is important that we ensure our peer support community leaders have a current 'working with children' check as part of due diligence. In an online environment with anonymous posters, it also provides Beyond Blue (and the community) with some security as to the identity of who is posting as a community champion. We ask our community champions to spend at least 2-3 hours a week posting and responding in the forums, but in reality they go far above and beyond this. Like me, they’re not psychologists or counsellors, just regular folk like yourselves who have experience with anxiety and depression. I’ll leave it to our champion volunteers to reply below and let you know a bit about themselves. PS. If this is your first time on the forums and you'd like to introduce yourself, please start a new thread rather than replying in here.

All discussions

Macca61 Hi
  • replies: 6

I am really struggling with life. I see it as easier to finish things now than continue. Alit has happened in the last year where my wife wanted an open relationship which I agreed to reluctantly. It only lasted for 2 weekends but I have never recove... View more

I am really struggling with life. I see it as easier to finish things now than continue. Alit has happened in the last year where my wife wanted an open relationship which I agreed to reluctantly. It only lasted for 2 weekends but I have never recovered and continually have moments of depression with flashbacks. I have contemplated suicide on 4 occasions and just see it as a way to finish the ongoing pain and depression. My wife has been good asking to talk about it and advised it was a fase she went through last year and loves me very much but I think it's just easier to get rid of the pain and depression and let her move forward.

Noelc Pension
  • replies: 3

Hi I'm not sure if my question belongs here but here goes. I'm 59 and on NDIS. I have a medical condition which will result in me not being able to work shortly (Wheel chair bound). Am I able to claim disability support pension as well as topping thi... View more

Hi I'm not sure if my question belongs here but here goes. I'm 59 and on NDIS. I have a medical condition which will result in me not being able to work shortly (Wheel chair bound). Am I able to claim disability support pension as well as topping this up via my super fun?

Popi3 Testing round 2.... 🙄
  • replies: 4

Hi all, so I had written a post before and unsure if it posted or I deleted it ? I have been reading posts from others and I happy to know I'm not alone , well we are not alone. I had a mega panic attack last year and since have been very anxious wit... View more

Hi all, so I had written a post before and unsure if it posted or I deleted it ? I have been reading posts from others and I happy to know I'm not alone , well we are not alone. I had a mega panic attack last year and since have been very anxious with a few full on attacks during the past months. I'm not sure is I have depression (or is that hand in hand with anxiety?) I have had high and low periods lately,where lows are numb feeling almost nothing is exciting or makes me laugh..I have to force it at times. My overthinking chatter worries and annoys me , this can be frustrating and exhausting at times. Most of all since my panic attack is that I'm scared to drive far or on busy roads . Any tips to overcome the driving anxiety ( my panic attack happened when driving, unsure why it happened) I have always been a confident go getter type person, untill now. Now I'm not so sure .

LVB Hello!
  • replies: 3

It's taken a while, yet I am posting my first thread on BB's Forum! One of the important lessons I have learned through seeing a counsellor for 3 years now, is that healing takes time. And how much time, is dependent on each individual's experience/s... View more

It's taken a while, yet I am posting my first thread on BB's Forum! One of the important lessons I have learned through seeing a counsellor for 3 years now, is that healing takes time. And how much time, is dependent on each individual's experience/s. The counselling has been a life-saver, though now I believe/feel it is the right time to reach out and have contact with others who are travelling a similar road, and establish a network of support. I am always in awe when reading some of the posts, at how courageous those individuals are - to share their vulnerability and experiences.....and hopefully access support and compassion as a result.

Galaxy-Hunter Big feels, lonely, insignificant, unseen, unheard, unimportant and invisible.
  • replies: 10

I am feeling all the big feels of loneliness, insignificance, unseen, unheard, unimportant and invisible. That’s just the surface really. I have a partner and who is oblivious to how I am feeling. He is not the type of person to be sensitive to many ... View more

I am feeling all the big feels of loneliness, insignificance, unseen, unheard, unimportant and invisible. That’s just the surface really. I have a partner and who is oblivious to how I am feeling. He is not the type of person to be sensitive to many situations. Most nights of the week, too much alcohol has been consumed by him, although I am grateful that he is generally a happy drunk unlike my first husband. My life is boring and consists of sitting at home and scrolling social media and watching tv. I have a spinal problem that was diagnosed in the last year that has made exercise difficult and painful at times. I also have spinal stenosis where the nerves are pinched and I spend a lot of time lying down as that is less pressure on my back. Sometimes while I’m walking my back gives way. There is no real chance of fixing my back, only managing it and the pain. I do need to lose weight which would help, but thats not easy either. I don’t have any friends except for an older lady who is lovely and I visit her every couple of months and it’s usually because she has phoned me and she needs my help with her computer or phone. I don’t work but I used to have a really great job ( 10 years ago) and was the frontline face of the organisation and since meeting my husband and moving to be with him I seem to have lost my way. I don’t have any purpose. My husband comes home from work and tells me everything and I mean everything he did at work, including all the conversations he had with the team in his department. I switch off sometimes. I feel like I know everything about them. He comes home and switches on his laptop and continues to work. The days are gloomy and worse now winter is here in Vic. This is just a part of the big picture. I just feel so blahhh, teary, lonely and just sad.

quirkywords Can crying be a sign of strength and not weakness.?
  • replies: 47

Something happened to me recently which inspired this thread. I was preparing an event with a group of people I had known for a little time when I accidentally broke a full length mirror. My first reaction was to be startled and then cry as it trigge... View more

Something happened to me recently which inspired this thread. I was preparing an event with a group of people I had known for a little time when I accidentally broke a full length mirror. My first reaction was to be startled and then cry as it triggered me and it was so unexpected. Instead of people seeing if I was ok, they commented that I was weak because I was crying, they whispered that they were amazed that an adult would cry over such a small thing. Someone told me they thought I was stronger and disappointed I cried. After a few minutes I was fine but sad my crying was seen as a sign of immaturity and not being strong. So I want to know if you have experienced people reacting when you cry..? I am someone who didn’t cry much as a child but now in my senior years I can get teary quite easily which I accept. I am surprised at what happened to me and now wonder if those people will see me differently. Do you think most people see tears as weakness. .?

AnotherSadDad Introduction. How I got to where I am today…
  • replies: 3

Hi, I’m at such a loss… I am becoming more and more uneasy, sad and just regretful about what my life is turning out to be.I have a great job and without sounding obnoxious I imagine lots of people would take my position in a heart beat.Everything st... View more

Hi, I’m at such a loss… I am becoming more and more uneasy, sad and just regretful about what my life is turning out to be.I have a great job and without sounding obnoxious I imagine lots of people would take my position in a heart beat.Everything started going down hill with the birth of my son in Jan 2020. From the get go I struggled adapting to life as a dad. First it was all the lack of sleep which seemed never ending but I knew would resolve itself in time. Then my son was diagnosed as Autistic. He is now 2.5 years old and is still non-verbal. He is a gorgeous little boy but he is so frustrated and miserable. I can’t help but think what the future holds for him and my wife and I and it scares me… I don’t want this for my life. I hate to say it but sometimes I feel like I should just leave, but I don’t think I can bring myself to do that… I feel so trapped and don’t know what to do. sorry this is probably a ramble of sorts. I just don’t know what to do. Im so miserable now… I hate that I feel like this but don’t know what to do…

Socs Christies
  • replies: 6

Hi, I have had for about 4years. My older brother went missing in 2001 and they unfortunately found his remains in 2018. At least we have closure and he's resting in peace. The first 2years we're very difficult for me but I find talking about things ... View more

Hi, I have had for about 4years. My older brother went missing in 2001 and they unfortunately found his remains in 2018. At least we have closure and he's resting in peace. The first 2years we're very difficult for me but I find talking about things that most men don't. I also am a full time carer for my mum and I still can't imagine how she feels burying her 1st son. The last 2years have been a little bit better because I'm on medication for my PTSD which helps. I also am involved with a support group for Carers, I joined just over a year ago. We are all Carers and it's all about us Carers which means we can all relate to each other. Exactly

Dishe Estranged from my adult son
  • replies: 8

I am terribly hurt confused and depressed about my son’s dismissal of me and his dad. He was always very independent as a child and leader in his life and relationships. We have always thought this a positive and strong attribute but it seems he feel... View more

I am terribly hurt confused and depressed about my son’s dismissal of me and his dad. He was always very independent as a child and leader in his life and relationships. We have always thought this a positive and strong attribute but it seems he feels he needs no one in his life and that includes us. It started with his new wife who encouraged his behaviour of independence which was great however she began to dislike me and started causing trouble. She has then convinced him that we didn’t raise him well and that he was abused physically by us as a child. My son told us we are never to contact his family ever again. We miss him so much and our grandson. I’ve tried everything to work through this but she won’t budge and he ignores us. Is anyone else going through anything similar and how have you coped? Thanks

DoctorRocks Lonely man staring down 40s with nothing to show for it.
  • replies: 4

Hello, I don’t know why I am here writing, but I am really struggling. They say all you need is “health, wealth, and love” well I don’t have none of them. Sorry if this turns out to be an incoherent mind dump. I am a 38-year-old fat, balding male, an... View more

Hello, I don’t know why I am here writing, but I am really struggling. They say all you need is “health, wealth, and love” well I don’t have none of them. Sorry if this turns out to be an incoherent mind dump. I am a 38-year-old fat, balding male, and I am so lonely. I have been single for three years, I am in a new city and only know people from work. I’m on every dating app and can’t even get a like, let alone a date. I did the wrong thing and downloaded my tinder statistics, yes you can do that. On girls I swipe right on only 0.04% of them will match and reply to an introduction. Which is brutal. Its weird I feel more like a fish out of water than ever, I wouldn’t know what to say even if I got a date. I feel like a bore, and if the two dates ive been on in the last few years are an indication I just interview girls to death. Please don’t tell me to “just be myself”, that’s the problem! A lot of my friends are married, have kids, divorced even. Even a couple of my exes who I am still good friends with have kids. It just makes me feel like I have wasted my life, and my opportunities. I feel like time is running out to get my crap together, find a partner, have a kid, get a house. It seems things that are basic for most people I can’t figure out. I feel like I am still waiting for my life to begin. I feel like I have wasted my life, and every time I try and fix something or get ahead, it always goes wrong. I am totally broke. I was getting ahead with some shares and crypto, but the current economic situation has wiped out my merger advances. So, I am unlikely to get another shot at that house deposit, so that is unlikely to happen. How many 40 single 40 years olds get loans to house? Not many I imagine. Not that I am bad with money, I have just been in low-paying careers my whole life up until last year. I was an academic, spent time doing postdocs in the UK which pay less than minimum wage here in Australia. That career fell through thanks to COVID, so now I am in WA doing FIFO. In all honestly, I should have done this from the start. So yeah, that’s me a depressed, fat, lonely, broke, looser staring down encroaching middle age with nothing to show for it. If you took me today and 20-year-old me, we are practically the same person; single, broke, the bottom of the ladder. I just wish things were different and I could meet somebody, and get my life on track.