Hi Burnt,
I really feel for you. I haven’t been through the same as you but I imagine you must be feeling so exhausted, drained and perhaps even frustrated and discouraged. You clearly care very much, and I think she’s fortunate to have a parent like you supporting her.
Sometimes, at least in my opinion, I feel it can be tricky to differentiate which aspects of a person’s behaviour is due to their mental health and which aspects are due to other reasons. I think maybe that is partly the case with your daughter, but I may be way off track.
Please feel free to let me know if I’m wrong now, but I get the impression that your daughter is a little resistant to receiving help or making changes. I don’t really know what her rapport is like with her psychologist. But even if she has a great psychologist (which she may or may not have), if she’s unmotivated/resistant to implementing anything that they’ve discussed then I feel it’s really difficult to make progress.
I think there’s a famous saying that is along the lines of how people can only be helped if they truly want it. I wonder if that could be part of her struggle?
I don’t know if this suggestion is helpful but I’ll share it anyway & you can see what you think. I wonder if there’s any chance you could try to find a family & relationship psychologist; one who could sit down with you, your daughter & anyone else involved to try to figure out perhaps an action plan/compromise on e.g. household chores, etc.
The reason that I suggest this is because, s/he could act as a mediator of sorts because from what you’re saying, it sounds like your daughter isn’t always the easiest to talk to. So it might be good to have an impartial third party (who specialises in family dynamics) to talk to all of you.
As for your idea to take your suggestions to her psychologist, you certainly could try if you want to. But do you think your daughter will follow through or mention it?
It’s just that I know people who will say yes to something a parent suggests but then turn around and disregard/won’t follow through. I’m not saying that your daughter is necessarily the same, but perhaps it’s just something to consider...
I feel that I’ve said a lot. I understand your daughter is going through a lot, and it must be hard for you as a parent too to see little improvement. I’ll be thinking of you and if and when you feel up to it (no pressure), it would be lovely to hear how things are going.
Kind and caring thoughts,
Pepper
