Hi starlight
As you face a number of next level challenges, in regard to graduating through life, my heart truly goes out to you. The 'school of hard knocks' (aka 'life') can definitely be testing in so many ways at times, especially when it comes to moments of graduation. I smile when I say I'm an impatient kind of gal at times: On occasion I can be thinking 'I don't want to learn through this lesson, can't I just graduate to next level knowledge or wisdom or greater consciousness/awareness without this lesson? I'm sick of being examined when it comes to what I've learned and whether I need to return to learning more, before I go 'next level''.
I've found what can help at times with certain challenges in life involves working with what I can imagine. I don't have to fully believe in what I imagine, I just have to ask 'Does what I imagine actually work for me or work in my favour?'. If the answer is 'Yeah, sure, why not. That can work', then I'll go with it. While I wasn't always one of those 'woo woo' gals 😁, I found imagining the mind/body/soul concept was something that came to work for me. If I imagine I am this soul who has this body and this mind, then the question can become 'What the heck is this mind I have doing and what the heck is the deal with this body I'm in? What do I need to do in order to manage these things I have to work with?'. This way of thinking can definitely trigger an avalanche of questions, such as 'Okay, so what destructive belief systems do I need to free this mind from, so that they stop getting in the way of me developing?' and 'What's leading this body I'm in to experience certain side effects? What are they actually symptoms or side effects of?'. Something you touched on (listening to mind and body), if I listen to what my mind's telling me, what does it say? If I listen to my body, what's it trying to tell me? Through trouble breathing, is my body trying to tell me 'You're facing a suffocating amount of work or a breathtaking level of responsibility and stress (which is taking your breath away)?'. Is my mind trying to tell me 'You're meditating or 100% focusing on the wrong things. You need to meditate/focus on the things that are going to lead you to ease, not dis-ease'. As I say, it's an avalanche thing, with the next question maybe being 'Okay then, what do need to be fully focusing on?'.
I recall once wondering about why I have so many questions in life. I couldn't help but laugh at the simplicity of my revelation, what came to mind for me. It was something along the lines of 'The greater the quest in life, the more questions. There is no greater quest than the quest to know one's self, hence all the seemingly never ending questions'. I imagine that before my last breath on this earth, hopefully not for a very long time, I will still have questions even if they're based on sheer curiosity. I passionately love wondering 😊
