estrangement from my son 30years

[Guest_93622033]

After 5 years of being in a relationship with a narsisstic woman, who literally controlled him and changed his thoughts on all of us, mum, brother, sister and stepdad.  we were all very close and three years ago my younger son who is estranged came to our house and had an argument with his older brother.  I told them that I was not happy that they were arguing.  His brother was just upset on the way he had changed and forgotten about us.  He has now left that relationship and two years on,  still has not come to see us.  My heart is totally broken.  I know logically that I cannot change the situation, but he is very easily controlled and manipulated by people.  I love and think of him everyday, even though he has not made an effort to get in contact with me as I have been hospitalised with ill health.  I want to let him go but this grief pulls me back.  He is not the same person, he is not empathic but more narcissitic like his biological father.  I try and think of the silent treatment he is using against us all, but I still pray that he will return one day. 

[smallwolf]

Hello and welcome.

I'm really sorry you're going through this – it sounds really tough. It's clear from what you've shared in your post  how much you love your son and miss the relationship you had.

It's completely understandable that you're feeling heartbroken. And not only are you dealing with this but you own health as well. You've done everything you can to reach out, and hoping and waiting ...

Letting go is never easy, especially when it comes to someone you love so deeply. But that doesn't mean you have to give up hope. You're already showing a lot of strength by accepting that you can't change him or the situation.

Keep holding on to that quiet hope that one day, he'll find his way back. In the meantime, be gentle with yourself.

Listening ...