Hi, welcome
So sorry to hear of your loss. Grief is a deeply personal experience and even your sons would feel so of that loss also.
There is no real remedy, you know that, but there is a way forward that might elude those that feel grief is never ending with its intensity. By far IMO keeping busy is one key to getting periods of grief relief. Then those period get longer and longer so your grief times are shorter.
So getting busy is the key. I first stumbled onto this when separated from my first wife at 40yo with 2 young kids. I was grieving for my lost full time fatherhood, my dog, town, neighbours. I then embarked on building my own home and suddenly I was too tired to grieve!!. So immerse yourself into activity, plant a rose garden in his memory, write?
Reply if you desire. I'm here daily. For you-
UNDER YOUR PALM
A single chair where there was two
The other empty now but it once sat - you
He always had your charm and never met you harm
Placed his hand under your palm
And the sun still rises when it seems to only set
Every day for forty years like the first day you met
But reality arrived and you try to say goodbye
Voices ringing why, why, why..
Perhaps its time soon when you focus upon his dreams
That his love for you and what it really means
To pick up that activity and share your woes
To care for yourself among like minded souls
He never made many mistakes only one
That he left too soon and your grief had begun
A single chair where there was two
His hand under your palm, he'll always love you....
TonyWK
