Introducing myself

[NorfolkPine]

I suffer Bipolar and was in the revolving door of a psychiatric unit or hospital for 20 years with psychotic episodes. Bipolar onset at 28 yrs & my marriage broke down when I was 34 years of age - and my children were taken from me by my mother. Nowadays, I have understanding that little was known about mental illness back then (I am now almost 73 yrs of age) and my family were frightened by it. My son is now my best friend. He is married and a bus driver, which he seems to love. He was a photographer but media became too insecure and rife with politics, backstabbing. He opted for the simple life and bus driving and seems to be thriving, and simplicity is my way of life too - although up until severe physical disability set in 9 years ago, I had led a quite active life as a student and then doing volunteer work on Help Desks. During my workforce years, I was a private secretary to some top executives. Bipolar did reduce me from 'riches to rags' as it were, as my ex husband and I had a very successful business. I opted to leave the marriage with nothing really providing he cared for my son - and he has done that financially not so much emotionally and spiritually, but that has always been a problem with him I realised after we married. I maintain good relationships with him. I have lived alone now for coming up 35 years or so it must be. I have community housing residency and have done for many years now.

I have not been ill now for 12 years; however I can still suffer (with little provocation) with anxiety and depression and especially in the afternoons. I still see my psychiatrist regularly every 3 or 4 months or as she suggests. Even though I have not been really ill for 12 years now, I accept that I suffer Bipolar Disorder and once very seriously. I take medication as prescribed.

I am a practising and devoted Catholic and have been all my life. My parents are now deceased.

More to my story which will probably unfold with future posts. I am watching my word count with this post.

I was attracted to this site because I read a thread about depression that passes at night, and refreshes in the morning. It doesn't always happen with me, but it can if I am under some sort of stress. I agree with my psychiatrist that I am super sensitive - and that has its pros and cons.

Thank you for 'listening' and I am looking forward to learning and contributing on Beyond Blue. I have been told it is an excellent site for sufferers of mental illness.

[smallwolf]

Hi NorfolkPine,

Welcome to beyond blue.

Thank you for your story. Not sure how long you have been around the forums but there is also a Cafe in the social zone, among other things you might like to look at, or reply to. I have been spending some of my time in the Cafe of late, in between replying to other people.

The word count can be a problem, though you could add a 2nd part to the story if you wanted. But that also makes it harder to recognise the first time poster. Win some, lose some.

I am an Anglican, but don't think that you would hold that against me. I was/am in the middle of doing a BTh but that is on hold while I do a Dip. in Counseling. I am looking to use that as my ticket out of the current job in IT. You mentioned your son being a bus driver due to what was happening at work. I visit my parents each Fri. They are a bit older than you, and because of my "condition" we talk about many things. One of which was how work has changed over the years, and how things have become a lot more stressful in the workplace. So it is a good thing your son recognised this and did something about it.

I see both a psychologist and psychiatrist and on medication. You mentioned about depression passing at night and refreshing the morning. For me, I liken it to waves crashing on a beach. Some small ones, some dumpers, never the same, except for the feelings of failure or frustration. And all I can do is ride the waves as they come.

Lastly, I also use prayer beads for grounding myself. Sometimes the apps on my phone don't work for me and I need something to touch and feel. In those cases the beads come out.

Looking forward to hearing more you,

Tim

[kanga_brumby]

Norfolk Pine welcome into the forum area of Beyond Blue a great place not to be judged for your psychiatric condition. (Or me for mine) You a\ave done a great intro on yourself as I noticed your age I would not have expected a lesser job of what you said. Very nicely written. If you feel up to it please try to help others in here. We appreciate the help thanks.

kanga