Just sad 😣

[Low_girl]

Hi there,

Ive suffered with anxiety and depression for about 15 yrs now!

I have an amazing husband who has helped me so much in this time BUT lately i have had doubts about our relationship and think its time for me to go out on my own??? Im absolutely terrified but i think i need to do this cause i think hes an enabler of my anxiety???? Help im so confused!!!

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

You're confused, it wouldnt be clear to us either with such limited information. Also we cant advise you this way or that, however, most certainly an appointment with a marriage guidence councillor would be of great assistance, you'd be surprised.

Managing a marriage can come in many forms. Some people know that their marriage needs some personal space (absence makes the heart grow fonder). Others find that they need changes of environment regularly (weekend away) or with the mental illness, a review of medication.

There is a lot of topics that can be covered by a professional.

Good luck.

TonyWK

[Croix]

Dear Low_girl

I'd like to join TonyWK in welcoming you, and agree, if you were able to supply a little more information that would help.

Still let's see what you have said. First that you have long standing anxiety and depression.

Second you have a loving partner

Third you suspect he may be 'enabling' your anxiety and feel a need to separate as a result.

OK, normally 'enabling' anxiety means the person is trying to stop their loved one feeling bad - protect them, and this can have the unfortunate side effect of shielding them too much, promoting 'avoidance'. In such a case the anxiety can of course get worse.

Protection is not normally something done from malice or lack of care, just lack of specific knowledge. Do you thing it might be worth getting your husband properly educated in the right way to support you rather than leaving him? A terrifying ordeal that would leave both of you most unhappy? something that might not be necessary?

May I also ask if you are currently under treatment for your depression and anxiety? If you are I'd suggest seeing your doctor or therapist and saying your treatment needs adjustment as it is not as effective as it should be. Also they may be able to give your husband the advice he needs.

If you are not then now might be an excellent time to start.

Please let us know what you think?

Croix