I need of a friend. God that sounds needy!

[Tom44]

Hi Folks, I'm new to Beyound blue.

Up until now i have always wondered about the name "beyound blue" but i can completely relate to it now.

i moved to Oz, from the uk, just over 3 years ago. I came heree with my aussie wife and 2 young uns.

Since moving things have slowly headed more and more into the blue.

I have not slept well for half my life, but since emigrating its got so much worse.

I'm now at the point that i hardly sleep at all.

Along with the lack of sleep is a major uptick in my mood which is turning very depressed.

I now contenplate wondering down to the bottom of my block in the hope of findinging a snake, or going for a major tumble in the car.

I'm so fed up with life. I don't have family or friends here and as i tell my wife a few bits about how i feel, she pulls away from me making me more and more isolated.

It's not my wifes fault as she had a traumatic childhoom, bit needless to say, that doesn't help me.

Anyway if anyone fancies a chat, get in touch.

Cheers. Tom

[Doolhof]

Hi Tom,

Welcome to the community here. Sorry to read you are finding it tough. Life can feel very disappointing at times can't it? I also relate to those feelings of wanting it all to end. For me it is the pain of the emotions that I want to end, not so much life, that is just what my mind tells me could happen.

If you don't mind me asking, do you work? Have you been to see a Dr and talk to them about how you are feeling?

The beyondblue site also has a lot of information about depression and suicide, some of the information may be interesting and informative.

There is a section about how people can help and assist those suffering from depression, some of that might be of use to your wife.

Do you have hobbies or interests that you can pursue?

Are there clubs, group-s, sporting activities, local darts club or something that you could join? How about some volunteer work even if it was once a month?

Regarding your sleep issues, have you Googled Sleep Hygiene? Strange title but helpful advice.

Are there places you can go with the family on weekends to change things up a bit?

When you are feeling blue can you distract yourself with a project, music, exercise, a book, games, the children or something else?

My psychologist kept telling me to accept the depression and not to fight it. The more I fought it the worse it became.

Hey, regarding those snakes, not really a good idea but I do understand where you are coming from!

When you get the point where you feel like not being here might be a good idea, would you consider calling the beyondblue help line on 1300 22 4636? The support people can put you in tough with other people who may be able to help you as well.

By the way, you don't have to answer all my questions if you don't want to!

Hope you feel welcome here!

Cheers from Dools

[Bepositive94]

Sorry to hear!

I feel the same, sometimes I feel like I have no one to talk to and it really doesn’t help. And anyone who i do feel open to talk with I feel as if they wouldn’t understand my perspective!

always happy to talk 🙂

[blondguy]

Hello Tom

Thankyou for being a part of the Beyond Blue forum family. Im Paul and its good to meet you!

I think you are amazing for having made the big move with your wife and your young ones to Oz..This is huge upheaval in what you have been used to 3 years ago. I know for certain if I went to the UK I would be having difficulty adjusting from where I grew roots here

Just for your information (out of respect) I have been on the forums since Jan 2016 after being made redundant from a senior management position at 56. I didnt think I would here as a volunteer

You are a proactive person with your health Tom by being here with us and thankyou!

There are many people on the forums that also feel similar to the way you do......You are not on your own at all

The forums are a safe and non judgemental place for you to post. I used to have the same awful sleep issues as you do and they are awful

I really hope you can chat back with us when its convenient for you

my kind thoughts to you and your family

Paul

[blondguy]

Hi Tom

Im sorry to double post....Just wanted to let you know that there is nothing 'needy' about your thread topic at all

You are strong and thankyou again for being a part of the forum family 🙂

My Best

Paul

[geoff]

Hello Tom and also to Bepositive94, can I offer both of you a warm welcome.

I understand and know that if I moved to another country I would be feeling exactly the same as you because it's an enormous decision to make not only for yourself but also for your family.

It's never easy to talk with someone who hasn't been through what you have, they don't comprehend, that's not their fault because they simply don't understand, that can be disappointing, but we have been through our own type of depression, so we know how you are feeling.

It's great for you to join the site along with us so we are able to talk with each other.

Can I ask you Tom was the move to another job or for other reasons, I only say this because your wife doesn't want to listen to you.

Please Bepositivejoin in the conversation it's good to have the two of you join us.

Geoff.

[roykumma]

Hi Tom

I've been going through some similar issues when it comes to sleep and it has effected my mood in much the same way. At the moment I'm investing my issues with a few different specialists apart from my psychologist I'm also seeing a sleep specialist and a naturopath with the hope that my issues subside. I relate to the loneliness aspect I'm having issues with that as well outside of professionals I don't really have anyone to talk to either.

[Doolhof]

Hi roykumma and Bepositive94,

I would like to welcome you both to the community here as well!

Loneliness can be a horrible thing, the more I think about it the lonelier I feel.

Is it possible to find ways to be with people even if you don't know them? Sometimes just being with someone else can make a difference, be it at a movie sharing the same thing but separately, in a café, at a museum or art gallery.

Recently I have needed to wear a moon boot for 6 to 8 weeks meaning I can't drive at all! I have called a few friends and they have said they will see me when I can drive again...fine friends they are!

I'm going to ask my husband to drive me to the local café where I will sit and have coffee, read the paper and at least be with people and out the house. My husband won't join me, he will pick me up later.

There is a second hand shop in town as well so I am going to ask him to drop me off there another day. The library might be another option, only that is in a different town.

I'm rambling! Guess that is what feeling lonely can do to a person. Ha. Ha.

Hope you all feel welcome here, there are many different sections to the forum.

Cheers from Dools