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Meet your community champions!

replies: 10

Hi everyone, We wanted to share with you the way that our wonderful Community Champions are here to support you. You may have noticed that a few of our Forums members are labelled ‘Community Champion’. Community Champions are volunteers within the Beyond Blue Forums who: have the time, skills and empathy to support other members regularly; help to welcome new members; are actively engaged members that help set the tone of our community. Our Community Champions are regular contributors to many conversations across the forums. They are a consistent and friendly voice that have committed to sharing their experience and expertise with this community. They are not health care professionals or clinicians. Like you, they have an experience with a mental health challenge or diagnosis – either for themselves or someone they care for. This forum is for people who understand what it feels like and have a lived and living experience of mental health challenges. Our Community Champions help everyone feel comfortable and confident by demonstrating what excellent peer support is all about. Click here to find out more about how you can become a Community Champion! This incredible team are excited to introduce themselves below, and we are sure you’ll see them around the forums in conversations important to you.

HELP..Am I posting in the right section?

replies: 10

Welcome to those who are considering posting for the very first time, welcome. Thought I would repost part of the words that Chris B posted awhile ago, (2014) as I can hear that people are unsure if they are posting in the right section or worried that they are posting "the wrong thing". 1.A good title makes the difference Just like a headline in a newspaper, when scanning the dozens of threads to click into, it’s only natural that people will choose the ones that resonate with them most. A title that entices the reader, or asks a question, is likely to get a better result than something non-descriptive like “Depression” or “I don't know what to do”. If you think you’re not good at choosing titles, leave it till last. Spend time writing your post, then perhaps choose a sentence from what you’ve written as the title. 2.Join in threads that have already been posted We all have our own unique stories, but part of the reason for joining a forum like this one is because you know that you will have a lot in common with others who are posting. Before starting a new thread, have a look through the current topics being discussed and see if there’s a conversation you can join in with. It can be quite common to have a handful of very similar threads happening at any one time, with members seemingly unaware that there are others right there who are going through the same thing. Talking to other members on their threads is a great way of getting yourself known so that when you post a thread of your own, people may respond quicker because they recognize your name. 3.Choose the most appropriate section for your post Many people browse the forums looking for stories specifically to do with pregnancy and parenting, employment, grief, loss, separation etc. Going straight for the “Depression” section may seem like the easiest option, but this section is often the busiest, so your post is more likely to get lost among the threads. Making good use of the different forum sections not only helps keep the forum relevant, but you’re more likely to find others who are going through the same experiences as you. Also, if you're wanting to discuss issues of trauma, abuse, suicidal thoughts or self-harm, it's really important you post in the designated section to avoid triggering others who may not wish to read about these topics. Mostly..just come and chat, we are here for you. Our amazing wizards in the background will see your message ends up in the right spot. Sarah

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Help! Stress at work close to triggering a relapse/episode. Need a way out!

replies: 5

Hi everyone, New member/first post I hope you are all well and thank you so much for reading! A bit of back story: I'm a middle aged man with Bipolar 1. I was diagnosed at 27 years old at the start of 2011 when after many months of battling depression and suffering a complete inability to sleep, I had my very first (and only) psychotic break/manic episode. After voluntary admission, I spent a horrible 2 months inside a mental health ward under the public system in Queensland. It took about 6 months to start to adjust back to reality and about 12 months to feel "normal" again, not before losing my fiance, and my job at the time. I haven't had a single case of severe depression or a manic episode since that first one back in 2011 now that I have found a good combination of meds with the help of my case manager and GP. I've managed so well that for the past 6 years I haven't had to see my case manager at all, just my GP for script repeats and check ups. Since 2012 I have held down jobs successfully, payed rent and bills, managed relationships, lived and worked around the country and abroad. For the most part, all has been fine. Here is my problem now though - my new job. I'm a project manager. It's a job I have wanted for many years. The problem is that being project oriented it's intense for short periods and i'm finding it incredibly stressful. I can feel myself slipping and symptoms starting to show. At the moment it's just anxiety and stress but I am finding it hard to concentrate properly and am making poor judgments. Soon it will become clear that I'm dropping the ball and am no longer dependable or reliable. I am worried that eventually, on this trajectory, i'm a ticking time bomb worst part is that this level of stress is only set to increase over the coming weeks. I feel that in order to avoid the inevitable, I need to find a way to leave this job. I just don't know how to approach it with my boss. He has no idea about my illness. We are getting a senior manager for the project in about a month, but I honestly can't handle this job any longer. I feel like I need take some downtime and focus on a new career that is less stressful. My mother is a big hoarder and desperately needs help with her house. I'm considering resigning from my position and spending time with her to help her clean up whilst I regroup and look at other career options. Have you been in a similar position? Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks so much for reading!!! -HF

I'm a nurse but not a nurse?

replies: 3

Hi everyone, This is my first post here, wanted to see what others think about the situation I'm in and if there's any advise out there. So the situation is that I've just come out of the BEST 3 years of my life. 2015-17 were the years I was at university studying to become a nurse. I made a heap of friends, I loved and lost that love, I had so much fun in those three years and would do anything to go back to it. But it's over, I'm now registered as a nurse and am ready to get out there. I have my graduation ceremony coming up in October. You'd think I have my life all set up, mapped out. But that's not the case. I'm a registered nurse and ready to get out there but I've been so unsuccessful with job applications that I'm starting to believe that I'm cursed. Like most students who are due to finish nursing, I applied for the new graduate program where I was unsuccessful. Since then I've been applying for job after job after job. Most of the hospitals require postgraduate experience, pretty much everywhere else also require post graduate experience or a post grad certificate which I can't get without the experience or job.. I've applied for hospitals, gp clinics, aged care, disability, community, literally everything. Even interstate! And I've had no luck. I was also signed up to a job agency early this year as my son turned 6 at the end of last year. Since being with them my mental health has rapidly declined, along with the looming presence of feeling like I'm a failure because I'm now 7 months from the last placement I did for nursing, 3 months since I became registered as a nurse. The job agency haven't helped me in getting a job at all, telling me to take my mother's car so I can work as a personal support worker(my mother is also a registered nurse, she requires her car to get to work). It makes me even more depressed to think that I thought I was doing the right thing by my son so we could finally move out of my mother's place, to we can have our own home. I entered nursing because I can't see myself being anything else. I worked so hard to become a nurse, because I wanted it so much and In the end I've come out of it with disappointment, regret, sadness and anger. It's the first time in three years that my mental health has been unstable. When I'm busy and occupied my emotions are in check. I've at least found that learning piano has become a bit of a distraction recently. I just don't know what to do now.

Lost and confused in a relationship

replies: 3

Hi, newbie to forums here! I've had what seems to be a bit of a whirlwind this year and I'm struggling to keep loneliness, self doubt, and a bit of depression and anxiety at bay. My ex-boyfriend of 6 years and I broke up in December last year as we couldn't find common ground in our relationship where we were both happy (I was looking for us to move out of home and was more ambitious with work and he wanted to mainly play computer games at home). I was ok with that because I knew it was the best thing for both of us so we didn't end up resenting each other. Then I started talking to my manager at work and things were getting flirty and we started going on dates in February and seeing each other more and more. I started falling for him 2 months in and I thought things were going really well, and then he said he needed space (end of April). He said he thought I wasn't serious about a relationship and I told him that's exactly what I want - someone to share my life with not just a fling. When we were seeing each other he also made comments about getting an apartment together and travel (they were off hand comments but I still took it seriously). He's very busy with work (approx 70 hours a week) and under a lot of stress. We stopped talking and flirting, then in May we went out and he kissed me and started messaging about my day and that again, then shut off for a while again. Earlier this week he started getting flirty again and saying he wants to cuddle me (actually cuddle as we've never had sex) and kiss me, then last night I asked why he decided to start being cute again and he said I dunno I didn't decide anything. I'm so confused because I still really like him and am so hopeful that it'll work out (he's moving to a new job in 4 weeks and will be less stressed/busy), but don't know if I'm just stupid and he's manipulating me and just using me when it suits him or if there's actually something really good there (I know I'm being hopeful. When it was good it was really good and we were really happy). Or am I just completely and utterly terrified of being alone and that no one will ever love me again that I'm clinging on for dear life.. Social anxiety is also a big issue for me so just going out and casually meeting people I don't feel like is an option for me.

20months married to 60 yr old man suffering depression.

replies: 1

Hi there. I am a newbie. I am 52 with 13 yr daughter and 20mths ago I got married to a 58yr old man who's mother had died 3yrs prior. She was the light of his life.My husband who I had known for a few months prior to our marriage was absolutely a gentleman and charming and attentive when we met which is why I fell in lov but he has struggled in stepping up as a husband and father. This is the first marriage for both of us I am not sure if he has delayed grief. Has no interest in sex and constantly takes medication for headaches. He has recently started working but not even that has improved our relationship. I am struggling staying married to him. I am not financially dependent on him as I have my own home and he moved into my home. He has a lovely warm family who love me and my daughter but he is so distant with me and doesn't like to communicate. He doesn't like affection and struggles to even kiss or hug for more than 10 seconds. I have tried to get him to get help but he is too scared or stubborn knowing fully well that I am at the end of my patience and feel that there is no hope for a future with him. He doesn't like any confrontation and has anger management issues. I have asked him to leave but he won't and then becomes over aggressive with me trying to have rough sex which I don't enjoy. He has never forced himself as when I say stop he does. He promises to change and seek help but He never does. I am at a loss of what to do.

Help / ASD & Schizoaffective Disorder

replies: 3

Hi, my 30 year old daughter was just diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder, she is already on anti pyscotic medication for her autism and has always suffered dreadfully with depression. She has an intellectual delay also. I really would like to know more about her new diagnosis, I only found out today by reading a medical form for her to apply for housing. There it was.... Why I hadn't been told by the mental health team I have no idea. Would love some positive ways forward. Thank you for reading.

I'm new and need some advice and help please :(

replies: 22

Hi everyone, Needing some advice badly here Basically why i'm here is am struggling myself a lot at the moment I'm trying to sort my relationship out with the person I am madly in love with. The thing is it's all been really bad timing, I've battled depression and anxiety for so many years at least 20 I know everything about it. My partner I met 5 months ago and we fell in love very quickly, I'm 41 years old and I finally found true love it's a beautiful thing I have to say and I love my partner so very much. Unfortunately I made a huge blunder and woke up one morning and asked her to take me back to my unit I was still renting, I had spoken to the real estate about moving out and asking them to find a new tennant. I had been under a tremendous amount of stress when I made the biggest mistake in up and leaving no explanation :(. My relationship of 8 years had broken down last November and I have a 6 years old daughter from this relationship. The mother of my daughter has been almost impossible to deal with using our little girl against me and not letting me see her :(, I had been dealing with this since last november plus all the stress of everything else monving into my own place, still going to work and functioning as normal as I could, it's been tough I have to say. For the last two months I've been trying to work out things with my partner I met 5 months ago. We both love each other very very much and everyone knows it. More bad news came when she contacted me and had said to me she was 4 weeks pregnant and lost our baby :'(. We were patching things up at the time and it drew us closer again, we have had our ups and downs since then with her car breaking down and needing $2000 worth of repairs done to it, plus she has had her friend staying at her house for 3 months and it hasn't gone so well I have to say. It's put alot of stress onto her and I've been there as much as I could for her through this time it's been so hard we haven't been able to see each other as much as we've wanted. Plus now she is really badly depressed understandably :(. I'm trying to be here for her as much as I can by telling her I'm here to support her and to let me help her through this tough time it's best to have someone there for you as I've tried to explain many times. Any help would be greatly appreciated! Ive ran out of room I had to delete a lot but I can respond again later I guess...

Looking after myself seems too hard

replies: 9

Hi Im new here. I just need some advice. Im dealing with a lot at the moment, more than i can actually cope with. I am trying to support my 2 teens through their own mental health issues (we have just started conselling for them) but Im struggling on my own to keep them safe and work full time. I have my own issues that keep popping up when i feel very stressed and then i cant focus on anything. Im still trying to adapt to life without my husband (he passed away just over 2 years ago). I feel like giving up as its just too hard i have a supportive family but dont like burdenoing them, i am trying to stay positive but its all so hard. Sometimes I have very negative thoughts, they are just thoughts but it really annoys me, i dont know the right way to process them so i think i just push them aside . I simply cant go into all the things going on for me right now on here as there are so many. Sorry to kind of just put this up here without lots of explanation, i think it helps to try and write down my thoughts. I would love to hear from others who are trying to help their kids through grief and anxiety or someone who might just want to listen and help.

Missing out

replies: 2

I was diagnosed with ptsd,anxiety,depression,and other things i forget in 1996 Bacause of metal issues, I choose not to live in society. Choosing the bush on the edge of a town. I Read about All the services available to people,and how metal health can be managed. And how ndis includes metal health I have never been asked about seeing a therepist etc But then again they would be 200ks away. Never had a doctor ask how my meds were,just kept on high dose for decades. Asked about changing meds. Told flatly no. So now I manage my moods with marajuana. No longer unable to get motivated. It angers me that Help is hard to get for invisible no fixed abode individual Unless of course if your in a city,they point you to your accommadation, meds you up,talk to you and actually care. Well thats what i was told

People ask me if I need help, idk what to say...

replies: 2

I have anxiety and depression for at least 5 years now. I used to be in denial but now... I don't care... It is so hard to get help, I feel worthless so I don't know weather I should waste ppl's time. So I say 'I'm fine' how do I ask, even the simplest questions are hard to ask. I forced my self to get help by joint this site because I've had dark thoughts of taking the say way out all day... I'm so sick of asking my friends and making them sad by telling the truth...

Hello, new here and a little lost

replies: 2

Hi all, thanks for having me here. It's a huge thing for me to try and focus on my and my health, but i'm glad to be here, amongst friends and supporters. People who understand and care.

Meet your community champions! replies: 10

HELP..Am I posting in the right section? replies: 10

Help! Stress at work close to triggering a relapse/episode. Need a way out! replies: 5

I'm a nurse but not a nurse? replies: 3

Lost and confused in a relationship replies: 3

20months married to 60 yr old man suffering depression. replies: 1

Help / ASD & Schizoaffective Disorder replies: 3

I'm new and need some advice and help please :( replies: 22

Looking after myself seems too hard replies: 9

Missing out replies: 2

People ask me if I need help, idk what to say... replies: 2

Hello, new here and a little lost replies: 2