I need help

[ihstelife]

I smoke weed it feels like I let everybody down my family don’t even want me in the house cos I flip out and scare everyone I’m nothing but a little prick how can I treat y own family like this the one that looked after me half my life idk I just want a fresh start with them and to be loved as I once was before they knew

[tranzcrybe]

Just read your post.

Intense and brutally honest.

What do you think about approaching your parents and repeating this word for word?

They probably feel the same pain and struggle as you do. Help each other resolve this together.

[Emotions26]

Hello I need help

Welcome if first time 

I am reasonably new myself

I resonate the thoughts of tranzcrybe

My thoughts are write down on paper what you would like to say to your parents. 
Somehow I think that it is more than that.

Not all parents are open to discussions. 
You can try to ask for this.

The wanting this and whether or not you take it further is a huge step in some cases.

Aside from what you have done.

What is more important is what you acknowledge here and want to do.

I am behind you in this decision also. Well done for making this choice.

All the best.

Keep on writing 

Emotions26

[Emotions26]

Hello ihstelife

Please know that I do not intend to bother you.

I wanted to apologise as when I responded to you before I addressed you as "I need help" being the actual title of your thread. This I now see.

I also wanted to check with you how you are feeling really.

You possibly are experiencing other symptoms that you are struggling with.

More often than not people who smoke weed or use other means to escape from their thoughts are "self medicating" as a way to cope.

Please know that I am not judging you.

I believe that you are very brave in writing your words as you did.

You are not alone. Many many people self medicate in this world.

If you are reaching out for someone to listen understand in some way, that is a first step forward in asking for help.

Continue to write if you feel comfortable.

There are many people who have or still do self medicate and I know that they will be on these forums.

Should you continue to post, more people will respond as they learn more about a little of what you are dealing with. You have to choose whether or not you feel safe enough to write about it. If not now. Perhaps another time.

You are safe here.

I will leave you in peace now and respect your space.

Emotions26

[yours_truly]

Hey there and welcome!!

When you make a tiny mistake, forgiveness comes easy. As that mistake gets bigger and bigger, receiving forgiveness gets harder. In your case, it may take time and effort, communication, sacrifices and changes to get forgiveness, but I know it will be worth it because you seem keen to do better. If you want to start fresh, you have to address the past. You can’t move on without making peace and acknowledging what has happened. 

Baby steps are essential,

yours_truly

[Emotions26]

Hello ihstelife

I know that I said that I would leave you in peace.

I read the response from yours truly and was reminded of another thought.

I have many.

I am sure that you do also.

The subject of forgiveness an important one.

Your words read to me that you are remorseful over your actions.

Practise if you can, forgiving yourself first. It is hard to do at first when we are not used to this concept.

It is not something that we are taught to do growing up.

If you can do this you will notice a difference within yourself and your thinking. You will be better prepared to communicate with your family when and if you can.

You want a fresh start and to be loved as you once were. That is beautiful.

Write down what you want to say and if they will listen read it or give it to them to read. Let them know how much they mean to you and how much you love them and you did not want to hurt them.

If they are not ready to listen write and put it in the letterbox or under the door or post it with a stamp.

Don't give up.

It might take time. Do not give up on yourself.

You want their love and you deserve to be loved also.

All the best

Emotions26