I'm here- a newby

[Cold_Mirror]

Hi. I've had depression most of my life. I have a fuzzy memory of being four years old and not feeling so sad.

I don't take meds, but I've done the therapy thing a few times. I'm voluntarily terminating with my current therapist at the end of year. I have made a lot of progress and I think that I have to have a go at working without the safety net. I truly believe this is the right thing. Having said this, I was horribly triggered by something that happened at work last week and my mind went to a very dark place. So, of course I have to think about how I look after myself after therapy ends. I kept reminding myself at the time I was triggered that what was happening would not seem half as bad to the people around me and this turned out to be true. With their help, the matter was easily dealt with.

Now that I feel better again, I'm examining where I can get support when I need it. I have used mental health forums in the past and I found them helpful. We are talking in therapy about the various ways I can get help when I need it after therapy ends. Even when I'm not so depressed it's sort of there like a shadow, so I have to be prepared.

Notes:

The work I do is voluntary. I am unemployed and sometimes it is stressful making ends meet.

I have some physical illnesses that sometimes overlap with the depression. It can be hard when my body is letting me down.

[Guest_322]

Welcome 😊 Well done on the progress you have made! The triggering event must have been very, very difficult. But I'm glad you worked through your feelings related to the event- that was very brave.

I think it's wonderful that you seem to be taking such a proactive approach in ensuring that you have the right support when therapy ends. I can empathise with the feeling that the black dog is still nipping at your heels- even when you periodically manage to "tame" it. So power to you!

Sidenote: I'm new too

[Cold_Mirror]

Thank you, Dottie. 🙂 🙂

[Guest_322]

Any time 😊

[james1]

Hey Cold_Mirror,

I just wanted to pop in and say welcome and thank yuo for already starting to help others here on the boards.

It's great to hear your story. it sounds like you've got much more control over your depression now, even if it does pop its head up every once in a while. That's really positive news and I'm sure others will get a lot of inspiration from you.

I'm still seeing my psychologist but I find coming here helps me remind myself that there are others out there who are struggling. Hopefully, others, particularly those who don't post themselves, will read what we've written and get some comfort knowing that they're not alone.

Anyway, I just wanted to say welcome and thanks for being a great member already!

If you ever need support, you can always come to us!

James

[Cold_Mirror]

Thanks, James. That's such a warm welcome!

I firmly believe that we're here to help each other, so it's best to get the ball rolling. 🙂

I agree that forums like this can be a valuable adjunct to therapy. When I was in therapy twenty years ago, the internet was very young and I didn't even think of looking for groups online. I felt very alone even though there was the therapeutic relationship to help me. You're right that it is helpful for people to feel a connection with others who really get it. It wasn't until about eight years that I thought about finding forums online.

I have done psychoanalysis, CBT, art therapy and gestalt. They are all helpful in their own way and there are times when one is going to be the best for the situation. I will be sad to end therapy but it is time. There may (probably will) be a time when I'll need it again. So the therapy door always swings open for me.

I'm looking forward to getting to know everyone here.

[blondguy]

Hello Cold_Mirror

Great to have you as a part of the family and thankyou for posting too 🙂

You have been through a ton of pain...There are many gentle people on the forums that can be here for you. I have had acute anxiety since 1983 and depression from 1995 and recovering from the depression...Yay!

I do really feel for you when you said you have some physiological problems that are exacerbating your depression.

I really do hope you feel welcome, it would be really nice if you choose to post back as many times as you wish!

(James1 & Dottie...thankyou for being here for CM)

Cold_Mirror....Can I address you as CM...only if thats okay of course?

My kindest thoughts for you and welcome. Paulxx

[Cold_Mirror]

Thank you, Paul. It's fine to call me CM.

I'm glad to hear that people here are gentle. I was bullied at work a few years ago and that set me back a lot.

I hope that your recovery continues to go well. It can be frustrating trying to get well.

CM 😊