Hi My life sucks

[lynda60]

28 years ago my husband suffered a cerebral hemorrhage. It was 7 days before our 1st wedding aniv and i was 9 weeks pregnant (I ended up having 3 sons over the years) with my first child. It left him with mental and physical disabilities so I have been a full time carer since which hasnt been fun. he had a second stroke 2 years ago which left him aggressive and he broke my nose, but with medication things settled. 4 weeks ago he died so now I am on my own

5 years ago I bought a business with my son but he has a gambling problem and is draining the business and I dont know what to do about this.

on top of all this I also run a dog rescue group, we take dogs from pounds that are due to be put down and rehome them and some of the things we see, the things people do is heart breaking. Some of the dogs we take are so broken we cant fix them. But there are many that go on to great homes and live out their live in peace

[Guest_322]

Hi,

You have been through so much over the years. While I can't pretend to fully understand what it has been/is like for you, the words that come to mind are shattered dreams, hurt, grief and loss. Maybe loneliness too.

Your son sounds like he needs help. But you also sound like you need help for the business. I'm no expert but can I suggest maybe looking up some numbers for financial advice, and also gambling advice to help you decide your next step?

And you know, I think it's remarkable that, despite all the suffering, you run a dog rescue. I think that's really noble, and the dogs are lucky to have you helping them to find new homes and/or giving them love that they've never had before 😊

[james1]

Hi Lynda

Welcome to the forums. I am so sad to hear about your situation.

I wanted to reply here and just send you my care and support. I don't know what help I can be, but I just wanted to let you know you're not alone.

Please feel free to keep posting here. I'd be lovely to hear whether you're seeing a GP or another doctor to try and get through this difficult period. And there is always the BeyondBlue helpline if you're looking for a friendly voice to speak to.

I hope to hear from you again Lynda. You've got a heart of gold for continuing to run the dog rescue, and we're really lucky to have you on these forums.

James

[geoff]

dear Lynda, I have read your comment with such despair because I too had a cerebral hemorrhage, I could look up the exact description that happened back in '83, but I don't want to but in laymen's terms it was a blood clot on the brain, so please cany you let me reply back tomorrow as I start early in the morning.
I am just so sorry for what your husband and yourself have been through, my heart just breaks with sympathy for everything you have been had to cope with the both of you.
I know what sort of change can happen, so please I will definitely reply back tomorrow. L Geoff. xx

[geoff]

dear Lynda, your husband was just so young as I was also 29 years of age when I suffered my head injury, a cerebral hemorrhage and what it does shortly after is the beginning to change our world all of a sudden, so we have to try and learn once again with most things in life, our personality changes, our abilities change in what we were once capable of doing, our interests change, our mood changes and our desire to want to do anything all of a sudden changes, completely different than how we were once before, so not only would he and myself change, but the family had to try and change with us, but this is not possible all of the time, but I don't want to dwell on all of this, as unfortunately your husband passed away which I am just so sorry for you.
I inspire your courage for starting a business, because that takes a great deal of determination, however the business won't survive until you can stop your son from draining the funds for his gambling, you know that he won't end up being a millionaire but I'm sure you can't convince him this, so I wonder if you can buy his share so that he won't be able to take anymore funds, but my greatest concern here is whether you give in to him.
I know that's a pretty harsh statement, and mean no harm by saying it, but I wonder if you are able to thisand say NO.
Your excellent work you do for those dogs is just fantastic, I only wish I could do the same, because when you look into every dog's eyes don't they break your heart.
You have had to cope with an enormous amount recently and you keep going on, that's brilliance from anybody.
I really hope that you can get back to me. L Geoff. x

[Starwolf]

Hi Lynda,

A warm welcome to you.

You have done a terrific job, being full time carer for your husband. I do know it takes its toll. I ended up sole carer for a daughter with accidental brain injury. Seeing a loved one change into a different person breaks your heart.

You have had to cope with loss and grief and are struggling to keep a business afloat. Dealing with your son/partner's gambling issues not only drains finances, but also your inner resources. Unless he decides to seek assistance in the near future, it may be a good idea to scrap this association (or perhaps this business altogether ?). If no profit can be made, it will only continue to be a major headache for you. You deserve to reclaim control over your life and your personal needs. So please, take good care of yourself.

Hats off to you for running a rescue shelter. I am a dog trainer and have done a lot of voluntary rehab work over the years. Being able to make a difference is often hard work but also a privilege.

My best wishes are with you.