I don't know anything, so I think the title is appropriate. So I suppose I should start with some background about myself. For the largest part of my life, I've had no direction. No goals, no ambition. Nothing. I'm awkward when it comes to human interaction and as such my friends are few and far between. I have no marketable skills, and as such I'm stuck in a dead end job on the bottom rung of a grocery store. I'm reasonably certain I have anxiety. I've suffered 3 panic attacks that I am 100% certain were such, and a number of smaller incidents that may have been as well. Crowds and continuous loud noise seems to set the stress in motion that cause these incidents, however two of the three attacks were the direct result of confrontation. However, recently I found something to strive for, and have since begun to attend a university bridging course so I can study a Bachelor of Science next year. I was making good strides in the first part of the year, I made a few friends and got good grades. However, this semester I've begun my initial math class. The math is the equivalent of Queensland math B and I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. The room the class is held in is small, crowded and very loud, which obviously sets me on edge. Worse yet, I seem to be the only person not understanding the content at all. I've asked for help in class, but all the teacher did was repeat herself which was no help at all. I asked for help again after class and the teacher said that I can study the materials at home and just skip class, only attending tests and the final exam. This isn't helpful, its terrifying. I can't keep up in class so there's no way I can at home. Furthermore I'm starting to revert to my hermit habits from prior to enrolling in uni, I just want to hide or run and get away. If I don't pass this math, I can't go on to the next one and without the second class I can't get into my Bachelors. I look at the worksheets and all I can think is how I don't understand it, how I'm going to fail and never amount to anything. How I'm going to live my entire life in my parents house, until they die knowing their son as a failure. When I go to uni tomorrow I'll be talking to student well being (hopefully, the uni site doesn't have any contact details, just the office location) and hopefully something will come of it. I just hate this. I hate this fear, I hate my own stupidity and I hate how everything is so damn difficult. Sorry for ranting. Thanks for reading
