Hi all,
Umm, this is major leap for me, I don't talk about myself to anyone very easily. I am waiting for my appointment on Wednesday (29 Jan 2025), but need to talk to anyone, anyone else. So here goes...
I am 41 years old now, living in one of, by my opinion, the most beautiful locations in the far north QLD & the world, Cairns.
My wife & I moved here for a better, more relaxed life after living in Sydney for 10 years & other major metropolises around the world, the rat race essentially.
But, the relocation and living here has been anything but wonderful...
We fight, argue, bicker about pretty much everything. And I always just give up eventually, no matter rightly or wrongly because it's just easier. Because I "always" do this, or "always" do that. We were travelling over Xmas & it all just got too much, I popped, I'd had enough, & I told her I wanted a divorce, not once, tour times over a span of 6 weeks, the most recent been a week ago.
To give some context, up until a week ago, I had been taking some herbal adrenal support supplements for the last 18 months, to manage my stress & aggressive responses, which was working, until I changed brands because I couldn't get my chosen 'working' one. The last two months I had gone from been thoughtful & loving, to 'the world is ending', 'what is the point of everything'.
So I am sure you can agree, that all things seem to be pointing to the meds... nope, off the meds, feeling normal...ish, but the realisations that this women is not a match for me, & now without my mind under the control of some 'thing' I have never been clearer.
I am asking myself questions that I did ask when I was first about to get married, but ignored, my problem is now explaining to her, outside of all the discoveries that have been in the last week about how I seem to part of a small percentage of people that ashwaghanda does not play nice with, that my feelings now, are what they have always been, but I was too much a coward & peacekeeper to admit it to myself or anyone else, that she is not & was never the one.
The fact is, in her words "always do...", or not do, this or that, so basically I am bag of rapid cats ready to rip the world apart, "I must get meds from a psychiatrist".
I am at my end, I need figure out how to just move on, as she seems to think I will 'get better' & love her again, I am only hoping that Wednesday will give me the tools I need.
This is small part of my mind, thanks for reading/listening.
