How do I go on?

[Learningtobreathe]

Lately my life is been feeling harder and harder to get through. It’s like every day I’m questioning the same things over and over. I’m almost 22 living at my parents house where I feel as if I’m trapped.
ive been dating a person different from my culture for over three years and all I want is to be able to give it a real shot but I’m stuck here..

my parents don’t understand love to the point where I don’t even understand what they do to show love. Most of the time I’m ignored . The amount of guilt and pressure I feel by being here is unbearable. I’m in my last year of University but it feels so out of reach. I can’t find a job in anything because I’ve had no experience in anything because my parents didn’t allow me to.
the only way I feel like I can leave this place is to find a job and earn an income enough to save up to be able to rent a place far away from here.

my parents don’t get anything at all, and I’ve tried before. I am genuinely terrified of them. They treat my younger sister like a spoilt weak baby that needs constant attention. But where does that leave me?
All I want to do is leave. This situation this house this lifestyle. All of it.
recently I had the opportunity to spend a few nights with the boy I’m dating literally just sleeping next to eachother and it was the best feeling ever. But now that he’s gone I feel this crushing emptiness and all I want is to feel that pure happiness again.

my parents don’t know. My parents don’t understand. My parents have never before and probably won’t again leave me or let me stay somewhere without them.

I just want to get out of here. So how do I keep holding on when it feels like there’s no hope of ever getting out of this house and environment?

[geoff]

Hello Learningtobreathe, can we offer a warm welcome to the forums, and realise that at 22 years of age, you are stuck in a position you'd rather not be in.

Can I suggest that if you don't find a future being at uni, then think about deferring it, you can always go back to it later on in life, simply because what's the point of continuing when you've lost interest or someone expects you to accomplish you fear there won't be any future.

You don't necessarily need to be working to move out and away from your parents, Centrelink can provide the bond money and a couple of weeks rent to live by yourself or with another person, plus rent assistance is available, opp shops can help you with furniture, all you will need is a couple of references.

There are many people who receive a Centrelink payment and able to rent, and by living in the outskirts of a major town or in the country, the rents are cheaper.

You can contact Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800 5 to 25 years old, these people are trained and may be able to offer other advice.

None of us can do what our parents want us to do, every time they say, times change and definitely our circumstances are different from when they were at our age, we need to look after ourselves.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

[Helarctus]

Hello Learningtobreathe,

Last year was not the best year for many reasons, it probably did not help with any feelings of being stuck in one place.

You have described not understanding your parents and them not understanding you, it may be that you are each communicating your feelings through different mechanisms. The affection and support may be there, just invisible to the recipients who don't know what to look for if they don't know that it could exist. If you get the chance to look up the "Five languages of love" you may find that your parents express through gift giving, but you through contact for example.

Neither is wrong, but both can adapt to better communicate with the other.

Regards,

Helarctus

[BlueWren1]

Hi. I'm new here. I am feeling a bit down and just wanted to reach out. Experiencing depression and anxiety is hard. I know there are others who experience this so have joined Beyond Blue. How's everyone feeling? I hope I've posted this post in the right place it's all a bit confusing.

[Helarctus]

Hello BlueWren1,

Welcome to the forum, no dramas on getting oriented. Each 'limb' of the forum has some helpful threads that are pinned so they stay at the top. Have a read through, don't feel rushed to post something in every forum or thread, there are people around at all sorts of odd hours who can respond but if you need to talk to somebody more urgently use the contact line 1300 22 46 36.

Regards,

Helarctus