Hi there

[Sunshine_A]

Hi I’m new here and very anxious to post but have ended up in the forums as I tried to use the online chat after my partner suggested it, and it wasn’t currently open. I need to talk to someone, anyone...

I’m 37 and I have gone through a separation earlier this year. I also have a 2 year old son who currently comes home 2 nights a week with me and then the rest of the time he is with his dad. This is simply due to me working part time to keep afloat financially. I feel like my ex is manipulating me still but I don’t know how to even begin to ask for a bit more time with my son and it’s really hurting me a lot as I miss him.

I am sure I have PTSD as my son was born at 24 weeks and was very unwell and in hospital a lot at first. It may have contributed to the downfall of my marriage, I’m not totally sure.

I have a new partner now who is amazing but I’m now having issues communicating my feelings with him and it scares me. I have a long history of mentally abusive partners and I am scared I’ve shut down due to my past.

Umm what else? I have a business which is failing due to the separation and it’s making me scared as I love it and don’t want it to fail.

I literally have no idea what to do or who to talk to as I feel like this is just the tip if the iceberg with me.

I also have a horribly unsupportive immediate family and no friends who I trust enough to talk to.

😞

[baet123]

Hey Sunshine,

Welcome to beyond blue and thank you for being here and its great to have you here. I'd like to congratulate you on posting and sharing your emotions, thoughts and feelings with us and this is something to be proud of. Opening up and expressing yourself is extremely difficult to do and shows great courage, bravery and strength. There forums are a great first step to take and is a really caring, loving and non-judgemental place where we are all here to support one another through our individual mental health journey.

It seems as if you are going through a lot at the moment and I feel for you. I can tell your an extremely loving and caring mother and you care deeply for your children and would do anything for them. Have you spoken to legal aid or received any formal legal advice regarding your options? I am not comfortable providing advice on how to go about asking for more time with your son but this is definitely a genuine concern and possibility so please consider receiving professional legal advice. Each state and territory has their own legal aid service and will provide free legal advice to you.

It is amazing that you have a new partner now and it seems as if he is treating you well and the way you deserve to be treated. Communication is really important and you should try to be open and honest with your feelings as I am sure he wants to know how your feeling and wants to help you in any way possible.

In regards to your emotional well-being and your PTSD, you should visit your GP and discuss these concerns with him so that you are able to receive the medical care and treatment you require. Untreated PTSD and mental health conditions in general can become so detrimental to a person's quality of life. Please discuss with your GP the possibility of starting a mental health care plan which will provide you with ten (10) subsidised psychologist appointments which is something that I believe will be extremely beneficial to your well-being and quality of life.

In the meantime Sunshine, it is very important to take care of yourself (as much as possible) and to reach out to services that are available to assist you as mentioned above. You may also wish to call your local hospital or Community Mental Health Centre and speak to them about your situation. I would love to provide you with more specific names and numbers of agencies, so if you would like to let me know which city or state you reside in I can provide you with more information.

Nick.