Hey guys! I'm really new here and just wanted to say hello! Everyone seems so lovely and I'm really happy to be here and connect with everyone! I have anxiety, mild intrusive thoughts and I also have quite a problem with wanting validation from other people. I tend to get anxiety everyday and it can be about almost anything; it could be me catastrophizing that I'm gonna lose my hearing because my music's playing too loud (even though the volume is nowhere near dangerous), worrying that I'm gonna get skin cancer because I forgot to put on sunscreen that morning, worrying about whether I truly enjoyed the activities I participated in throughout the day etc. Sometimes the anxiety can result in mild tingling in my feet and body in general and it can make my heart race mildly. I mostly just try to ignore that anxiety and not let it have any power over me, but I find that when I try to talk back to it I just make it worse but I've given it the attention that it craves.
I've had some problems in the past with intrusive thoughts of a mostly sexual nature, but thankfully I've suppressed them so far and I've had minor flare-ups but that's it so I'm happy about that! I'm mainly struggling with this validation problem. Since I've been young I've been into musical theatre and I think this is where it all started. I think I taught myself (through my love of performing) that performing and 'acting' will help me with making friends and getting validation from people. And now, a few years later, I feel like most of the things I do and say are motivated by the thought that I might be validated by someone else. I often laugh even when a joke's not funny or when I normally wouldn't because I've been told many times throughout my life that my laugh's great, and therefore I do it almost subconsciously to make people happy. I've also retained my love of performing, but sometimes instead of performing for my own enjoyment, I become sucked in by the thought of an audience and receiving validation from them, making me feel empty because I'm not doing it for myself anymore. When it gets too much, I often cope through binge eating and eating large amounts of junk food, which I'm slowly trying to curb because it's simply unhealthy and unproductive. I've made a habit of journalling which has been really effective for me, and I'm planning to start thought tracking. Was just wondering who else has experienced this and if anyone has any advice or coping methods that they've used? 🙂
