Hello Dessie
Welcome to the forum and for reaching out to get some support and a place to come and "dump", it is a really safe and supportive and caring community here, so welcome.
Congratulations on your new role, that is really awesome. I just want to point some obvious things out to you first, that I know you know but it is a gentle reminder. You interviewed for this role, along with others I assume, you displayed your skills and your personality, they chose you for the role. Now I am assuming you are a woman, we do doubt, second guess and feel panic when of a list of 10 things we are not able to do 1. Why? I have no idea why as women we do this but I have found it to be true in me too.
Also when we do start a new role it is daunting, we don't know the role, the people, what is expected, it is a whole lot of unknown and that is terrifying too. However I do have this one thing that I try to remember when I have started a new role, that is when about the 3 month time comes I sit and wonder what the heck I was worried about and look and see that I have settled into the role, I am capable and I am worth the role. Can I suggest that this has happened to you too, that time is the key here. You are not supposed to hit the ground running every time, these are also very unusual times we are in too which may also impact the role itself and how you are working in the role, there are many things to consider.
You got this role Dessie, your employer saw you as the best fit, have some faith in that too. Please also try not to feel like you are "dumping" on your husband, once again, easier said than done, but can I suggest you would be there for him should the roles be reversed, this is what a partnership is, supporting each other.
I also hear that you are concerned about possibly suffering anxiety and depression, can I ask if you are seeking some support for this? It may be time to check in with a GP to share how you are feeling and get some extra support.
Great to chat to you Dessie, you are worth it, you are capable and you will be amazing.
Hugs
Sarah
