Hi. I'm Jax.

[Jax1]

Hi, I'm at a point in my life where I feel I want to opt out. I've seriously tried to help myself a lot over the years. Self help, online help and professional help. But I keep coming back to where I am now. I'm finding it really difficult to even write this here, as I don't really see it helping.

Last night (through trying to self help and understand why I'm this way) discovered that I have an 'INFJ' personality type. It has made sense to me and has shed a little light as to why I'm like the way I am. I was so down last night that I was going to end it.

In the end I don't think it matters though. I feel like I'm the only one in this world who understands myself and the whole world tells me I'm wrong, I'm faulty and broken. This upsets me. I feel as though I'll never connect with anyone. I want to connect and have friends, a normal life (whatever that is) but I dont think I ever will.

So I'm struggling to find a genuine reason to stay.

[baet123]

Hey Jax,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for posting! It is great to have you here and you have shown a great amount of bravery, strength and resilience through sharing your situation with us. It is not an easy thing to do and you should be proud of yourself.

Sorry to hear that you are struggling at the moment and have been for quite a while. Unfortunately, not everybody journey or path that they take or have been on is the same and mental health conditions as you know affect people differently. You mention that you have engaged in self help, online help and professional help. Would you be able to elaborate on what professional help and self help methods/techniques you have engaged in? Have the periods when you have been under the medical care and treatment of certain professionals been sustained and prolonged periods or have they been sporadic/intermittent periods of treatment?

You also mention that you keep coming back to "where you are now". This is a vicious cycle and with my personal struggles a few years back, this was the case for me also! May I ask whether you have a support network in place? Any close friends or family members whom you feel comfortable sharing your emotions and thoughts with? Have there been any constants in your life either in or out of your control that has your condition?

You mentioned the whole world tells you you're wrong? May I ask who is telling you these things? I can tell you are extremely thoughtful, intelligent, courageous and you have the want and desire to improve your situation which is amazing. Many of us on this site can relate to much of what you have and are experiencing and I hope you find these forums beneficial to you in some way.

Life isn't easy as you very well know. You seem like an amazing person who has so much to give and so much life left to live. Although you may not be able to find any genuine reasons to stay and continuing pushing, there are plenty of reasons.

Have you considered group therapy? This is an amazing form of therapy where you will be able to meet people with similar experiences and build relationships over shared experiences.Eating well, getting enough sleep and exercise may also be beneficial.

I look forward to hearing back from you.

Nick.