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Meet your community champions!

replies: 12

Hi everyone, We wanted to share with you the way that our wonderful Community Champions are here to support you. You may have noticed that a few of our Forums members are labelled ‘Community Champion’. Community Champions are volunteers within the Beyond Blue Forums who: have the time, skills and empathy to support other members regularly; help to welcome new members; are actively engaged members that help set the tone of our community. Our Community Champions are regular contributors to many conversations across the forums. They are a consistent and friendly voice that have committed to sharing their experience and expertise with this community. They are not health care professionals or clinicians. Like you, they have an experience with a mental health challenge or diagnosis – either for themselves or someone they care for. This forum is for people who understand what it feels like and have a lived and living experience of mental health challenges. Our Community Champions help everyone feel comfortable and confident by demonstrating what excellent peer support is all about. Click here to find out more about how you can become a Community Champion! This incredible team are excited to introduce themselves below, and we are sure you’ll see them around the forums in conversations important to you.

HELP..Am I posting in the right section?

replies: 10

Welcome to those who are considering posting for the very first time, welcome. Thought I would repost part of the words that Chris B posted awhile ago, (2014) as I can hear that people are unsure if they are posting in the right section or worried that they are posting "the wrong thing". 1.A good title makes the difference Just like a headline in a newspaper, when scanning the dozens of threads to click into, it’s only natural that people will choose the ones that resonate with them most. A title that entices the reader, or asks a question, is likely to get a better result than something non-descriptive like “Depression” or “I don't know what to do”. If you think you’re not good at choosing titles, leave it till last. Spend time writing your post, then perhaps choose a sentence from what you’ve written as the title. 2.Join in threads that have already been posted We all have our own unique stories, but part of the reason for joining a forum like this one is because you know that you will have a lot in common with others who are posting. Before starting a new thread, have a look through the current topics being discussed and see if there’s a conversation you can join in with. It can be quite common to have a handful of very similar threads happening at any one time, with members seemingly unaware that there are others right there who are going through the same thing. Talking to other members on their threads is a great way of getting yourself known so that when you post a thread of your own, people may respond quicker because they recognize your name. 3.Choose the most appropriate section for your post Many people browse the forums looking for stories specifically to do with pregnancy and parenting, employment, grief, loss, separation etc. Going straight for the “Depression” section may seem like the easiest option, but this section is often the busiest, so your post is more likely to get lost among the threads. Making good use of the different forum sections not only helps keep the forum relevant, but you’re more likely to find others who are going through the same experiences as you. Also, if you're wanting to discuss issues of trauma, abuse, suicidal thoughts or self-harm, it's really important you post in the designated section to avoid triggering others who may not wish to read about these topics. Mostly..just come and chat, we are here for you. Our amazing wizards in the background will see your message ends up in the right spot. Sarah

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Long marriage gone wrong

replies: 1

My name is Margaret and I separated from my husband in January this year after 44+ years together. Although we were no longer in love, there was companionship and I believed implicity in his honesty and integrity. His betrayal has come as a complete shock but even worse is the way that he has denegrated and humiliated me in the process. I really am struggling to know how to cope. My three adult children are remaining impartial. Although I have friends to talk to, it would be really helpful if there is someone out there who has experienced a break down after a lifetime together. Hoping to receive some advice or kind words from the Beyond Blue community.

Supporting an ex

replies: 3

Hi there, My partner broke up with me 4 months ago after dating for 2.5 years. He has a teenage son to his ex wife. He runs a business and was always traveling interstate and overseas. About 1.5 years ago I became emotionally invested in another person after my partner was away a lot, shut me out of his life and asked me to pretend we weren’t together to allow his son to get used to the idea. When he found out he was understandably hurt and angry but we worked through it and or so I had thought. Since then I have devoted all my time and energy to rebuilding the trust and being there for him, being incredibly understanding of his work load and custody arrangements which means we had limited time together. Any argument we had, he would blame me for being invested in someone else as it was an easy way for him to punish us both. After all the guilt I relapsed with an eating disorder and depression and he tried to support me through it.Mid last year our our relationship was back on track. We had bought a house together, I was really close to his son and the future looked bright except for the fact he kept throwing himself into work too much and was never available at weekends. His dad was hen diagnosed with terminal cancer which really rocked him and we were caring for his dad and supporting his mother for the last 6 months. out of the blue my now ex broke up with me over the phone. He said that he had been planning it for a year and he had no interest in ever being in a relationship again as he said all women screw him over. We still speak peak daily and I am trying to help and support him as he has a breakdown. But he says he doesn’t want any help. He is carrying some serious pressure at work, running a business, caring for his dad, looking after his son part-time. Outside of that he says he is broken and does not ever want to see anyone! He says he’s antisocial and this is how he is going to be for the rest of his life. I’m still madly in love with him and want a future with him, but I also realise I need to support him by giving him the space and time he needs. I can tell he is very depressed and broken but the more time he spends alone, the longer he is convincing himself that all people are evil and isolation is better. He refuses to seek professional help or for us to even have couples counselling. This is really started to affect my mental health and I am at a loss of how to help him. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Inside gamer

replies: 2

Hey everyone new here iv had social anxiety for most of my life iam 27 I always seem to be the one person at every social event standing in the corner hoping the event ends soon even going to the shop or puting fuel in my car is a task wondering if a... View more

🙏

replies: 1

Hello, I'm 33 years old and live in au last 8 years. All my life I was always loner. Not by my choice but even though I tried to socialised I never made any real friends. People don't gravite to me so during my teen years I learned to enjoy my solitude and occupied myself with books etc. Also had a big hobby which is opera but even there where I was meeting people with same hobby never was able to create a friendship. I got married 5 years ago and have a beautiful 3 and half years old daughter. My husband was diagnosed with bi polar disorder and last 1 and half he had a manic episode which was the hardest time of my life. During his episode last 6 months I was going to bed with prayer that I don't wake up again and have to deal with it an other day. Our relationship got damaged and in September last year I had to call a police because our situation became unbearable for me. While my husband end up in jail my father who lives in Europe passed away but due to my situation I couldn't attend funeral. Now is my husband back home stabilized and wants to work on our marriage but I feel so demaged and enable to actually do anything. I am so isolated and have very difficult time to even leave the house to go to a shop or take my daughter to the park so we are all the time at home. I don't know what to do.. I am afraid talk to people but that isolation killing me inside. Also I want a good life for my daughter and be a good mother to her but I feel so useless and broken. Doctor offered me antidepressants but I am really worried that it will be just an other obstacle which I will have to later over come. My father was on medication last 2 years of his life and stop taking them 6months before he died and in that time his depression got worse than before. I hope what I wrote make sense, my apology for my gramma. Thank you for any thoughts

Hi. I'm Jax.

replies: 1

Hi, I'm at a point in my life where I feel I want to opt out. I've seriously tried to help myself a lot over the years. Self help, online help and professional help. But I keep coming back to where I am now. I'm finding it really difficult to even write this here, as I don't really see it helping. Last night (through trying to self help and understand why I'm this way) discovered that I have an 'INFJ' personality type. It has made sense to me and has shed a little light as to why I'm like the way I am. I was so down last night that I was going to end it. In the end I don't think it matters though. I feel like I'm the only one in this world who understands myself and the whole world tells me I'm wrong, I'm faulty and broken. This upsets me. I feel as though I'll never connect with anyone. I want to connect and have friends, a normal life (whatever that is) but I dont think I ever will. So I'm struggling to find a genuine reason to stay.

New member ... hello

replies: 2

Hi, just reaching out to introduce myself. I’m a mum of two, my young son has ASD and I find daily life with him very challenging. I cry a lot. He can be quite aggressive and say the most horrible things when he is heightened. He can be such a kind gentle boy and it breaks my heart to see him so confused and angry, I want more than anything to help him and protect him. Outwardly I think I appear pretty proactive and ‘together’ to most people, but I’m deeply depressed and feel very alone. My closest friend of 16 years has been my beautiful cat. I work from home and so we have been together every day since I adopted her. She died in January and I’m really struggling to cope without her. She was my comfort and my safe place when my son has his meltdowns, and now I’ve lost my best friend. I just desperately want her to be back here with me.

First Time Poster

replies: 1

I haven’t been diagnosed with anything yet but I know that there is something going on with me which isn’t my normal self. I live by myself, I have two dogs and two cats and I work long hours in an office job. A few years ago now I had a serious relationship break down and at this stage my partner left with her two nieces who had been living with us because we were awarded guardianship of them. The break up was a long drawn out break up which spanned over about 18 months and involved a lot of mind games, manipulation and control. As this relationship drew to an official end, I had become close with another woman (I identify as lesbian) and we were just friends but then it escalated into a romantic relationship. She had her own issues to contend with and as a result we ended up in a very emotional to and fro dance with sometimes us being incredibly close and other times her distancing herself. That being said I continued to pursue the relationship and saw enough good stuff to believe I was with someone who had my back. I am a very social person and enjoy one on one close personal relationships as a result I’ve been a serial dater for a really long time as I struggle with isolation at times especially living alone (and not being able to drive which I am in the process of learning) So recently my relationship with my current relationship took a turn and I came to realize that I perhaps am not as much of a priority as I thought. This triggered some of my abandonment issues, my lonliness issues and was further impacted by the fact that I sprained my ankle quite badly and was in a lot of pain and left me scratching around to catch ubers to doctors appointments. I have become quite emotionally unravelled, Im usually okay when at work because I'm in an office and surrounded by ppl & hustle n bustle all day but as it comes time to go home I become really teary and emotional and become filled with just not wanting to deal with the night ahead. My social circle is tiny to non-existent as most of my energy has been put into reltionships over the the years. I have recently made friends with a couple in my neighbourhood and we’ve had two social outings so far and I’ve created a group on Facebook to organize activities locally in the near future. Because I’m not a socially anxious person, I like being around people quite a lot. I guess I’ve just come here for a bit of extra support and people to talk to, especially when it’s late at night and these feelings creep up.

Never posted before, hope this helps

replies: 3

Hi, I'm a 29 y/o male and I don't really know how to phrase this message, but I thought I need to do something. I'm constantly unhappy in my life, but by looking at me you would never know. I'm usually the life of the party and the one that seemingly shows the most happiness around others - I want to be liked and have developed myself around that persona. I hit a tipping point recently (which led me to post this). I got off the phone with my wife and during our conversation I almost came to tears - I had to hold it back, which was incredibly hard and it was over absolutely nothing. I've never thought much of it because I had a good upbringing and don't have anything really to complain about, so I feel bad even considering that I should have anyone devote attention to me - "like what the hell is wrong with you, you have nothing to complain about". But I find over the years I've relied on alcohol more and more particularly when really unhappy or anxious (I have had an anxiety attack in the past), but have also thought I can suck it up, it'll pass (and it usually does, I feel less unhappy some days than others and some i even feel happy), but I always turn to alcohol to get me through the hard times. To date it's never impacted my work and I function extremely well at work - in fact I have a great job that I'm good at and pays well. I've started to drink more and more though which long term compounds the issue I think. Do I have a problem? I guess I just want perspective and context - is this normal? Should I suck it up (and I'm ok if the answer is yes)? I've never spoken to anyone about this or ever posted online.

Introduce myself

replies: 1

Hi, everyone first post. Im a guy who recently just turned 30 and I don’t have many friends or girlfriend for that matter. I’ve joined clubs and classes to meet people but still not much luck. And I occasionally get anexity which does not help but I’... View more

Hi everyone, I’m a new online member here.

replies: 2

Hi all, So, I won’t go into complete detail about my mental illnessness because it started when I was only 11 years old and I am now 23 years old so as you can imagine, a tremendous amount of things have happened and gone on throughout the years. I’m hoping to get online support here as I’m hopeless at speaking on the phone. I do have a psychiatrist who I see fortnightly but honestly it’s not enough for me. I need additional help and support. I’m unable to leave my house by myself and it has been this way for many years now. I don’t have friends and I’m also an introvert so it doesn’t really bother me about not being social in person. My family are also not helpful or supportive and they also suffer from mental illnesses, so basically I’ve been alone with myself for a long time. I’m a 23 year old female living in Melbourne, VIC. My nickname on here is Humancat95 So yeah.. Not much else to say for now about myself or whatever. Thanks for reading this

Meet your community champions! replies: 12

HELP..Am I posting in the right section? replies: 10

Long marriage gone wrong replies: 1

Supporting an ex replies: 3

Inside gamer replies: 2

🙏 replies: 1

Hi. I'm Jax. replies: 1

New member ... hello replies: 2

First Time Poster replies: 1

Never posted before, hope this helps replies: 3

Introduce myself replies: 1

Hi everyone, I’m a new online member here. replies: 2