Welcome and Orientation

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Meet your community champions!

replies: 12

Hi everyone, We wanted to share with you the way that our wonderful Community Champions are here to support you. You may have noticed that a few of our Forums members are labelled ‘Community Champion’. Community Champions are volunteers within the Beyond Blue Forums who: have the time, skills and empathy to support other members regularly; help to welcome new members; are actively engaged members that help set the tone of our community. Our Community Champions are regular contributors to many conversations across the forums. They are a consistent and friendly voice that have committed to sharing their experience and expertise with this community. They are not health care professionals or clinicians. Like you, they have an experience with a mental health challenge or diagnosis – either for themselves or someone they care for. This forum is for people who understand what it feels like and have a lived and living experience of mental health challenges. Our Community Champions help everyone feel comfortable and confident by demonstrating what excellent peer support is all about. Click here to find out more about how you can become a Community Champion! This incredible team are excited to introduce themselves below, and we are sure you’ll see them around the forums in conversations important to you.

HELP..Am I posting in the right section?

replies: 10

Welcome to those who are considering posting for the very first time, welcome. Thought I would repost part of the words that Chris B posted awhile ago, (2014) as I can hear that people are unsure if they are posting in the right section or worried that they are posting "the wrong thing". 1.A good title makes the difference Just like a headline in a newspaper, when scanning the dozens of threads to click into, it’s only natural that people will choose the ones that resonate with them most. A title that entices the reader, or asks a question, is likely to get a better result than something non-descriptive like “Depression” or “I don't know what to do”. If you think you’re not good at choosing titles, leave it till last. Spend time writing your post, then perhaps choose a sentence from what you’ve written as the title. 2.Join in threads that have already been posted We all have our own unique stories, but part of the reason for joining a forum like this one is because you know that you will have a lot in common with others who are posting. Before starting a new thread, have a look through the current topics being discussed and see if there’s a conversation you can join in with. It can be quite common to have a handful of very similar threads happening at any one time, with members seemingly unaware that there are others right there who are going through the same thing. Talking to other members on their threads is a great way of getting yourself known so that when you post a thread of your own, people may respond quicker because they recognize your name. 3.Choose the most appropriate section for your post Many people browse the forums looking for stories specifically to do with pregnancy and parenting, employment, grief, loss, separation etc. Going straight for the “Depression” section may seem like the easiest option, but this section is often the busiest, so your post is more likely to get lost among the threads. Making good use of the different forum sections not only helps keep the forum relevant, but you’re more likely to find others who are going through the same experiences as you. Also, if you're wanting to discuss issues of trauma, abuse, suicidal thoughts or self-harm, it's really important you post in the designated section to avoid triggering others who may not wish to read about these topics. Mostly..just come and chat, we are here for you. Our amazing wizards in the background will see your message ends up in the right spot. Sarah

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Oh hello!

replies: 2

Hi all Brand newbie here. Am looking forward to hopefully contributing, supporting and encouraging in this great space. Luna

New here - worried about my brother

replies: 1

Hi everyone, This is my first post. I'm a 27 y/o female and as much as I would like to share more about myself, I'll do that in another post as I am currently more worried about my older brother. My family is from a Southeast Asian country. I have just graduated from an Australian uni and 'intend' to work here for a couple of years (a story for another time). The rest of my family are back in our homeland. My older brother has always been the most academically brilliant one in our family, but my parents never really pressured him to get good grades - he just does. He has always been noted to be quiet and introverted, but when since he turned 18, he seemed to become more distant from us and his friends. At 21, he dropped out of second year of uni and since then, he became even more withdrawn from us and his friends and stopped talking to us. He did not attend his then best friend's wedding nor our other brother's wedding (the only thing he has attended with us is a close uncle's funeral). He's now 35, but since he dropped out, he has not really left the house other than shopping for groceries (he cooks his own food and doesn't eat with us). He hasn't been going for any training, courses or work (in other words, NEET) as far as I'm concerned, unless he has been doing all this online. He gets angry when my parents suggest getting professional help, so I don't think he's getting any. My mother tends to blame it on video games and to be honest, I highly doubt he's addicted to video games. It's definitely more than that. But my parents don't really believe in mental illnesses like depression. To them, especially my mum, it's more like laziness, lack of motivation or just being down in the dumps. That's why it's so hard to open up to them. Our other brother, who's the oldest of the 3 of us, doesn't seem to understand it either, and he seems to be more interested in making himself a successful businessman. But honestly, I'm no better. I didn't know what to do back then. My brother and I have a 8 year age gap, and I did not understand much about mental health issues until I developed some myself a few years ago. I feel horrible because I was the closest to him in the family, yet I didn't do anything. My parents and relatives always tell me I'm the only one who can help him. I have been battling my own demons for the past few years, but I have always felt guilty for not helping my own brother. I genuinely want to help him and hope for some advice on how to start.

Anxiety

replies: 2

Hi, I’m unable to talk to my friends, family or boyfriend about my anxiety as I feel I am burdening them and I don’t want to continually seem unhappy. I feel very lost and alone, I’ve always worried about every little thing in life even if there’s nothing to worry about. I’m really struggling at the moment to sleep and to be able to control my anxiety, it’s really taking over every aspect of my life... if anyone could help me in any way I would appreciate it greatly! Thank you x

When You Don't Want to Admit It

replies: 1

Hello kindest of strangers, I haven't been on a forum for a very long time. I spent a lot of my teens and early twenties on forums, trying to find friends or a place to belong. I never really felt like I had a place. I am bad at communicating, I don't trust myself to be 'normal'. I don't keep a journal because I hate all the sentences that start with I. I this. I that. I struggle with self worth. I struggle to say there is anything wrong. I feel like a meandering mess and running out of time. I don't mean to talk to negatively. I know that that doesn't contribute to a healthy heart and mind. I guess that's why I am here. I know but I can't stop, I don't know how to be better. I get lost along the way. I have been blessed and lucky enough to share the last four years of my life with someone. I know that she loves me, but I also know that she hates me--or rather has come to be angry and fed up with me. I think that I am a burden, but in so thinking then become one. I don't blame her. I struggle with self-fulfilling prophecies. I struggle with a lot of things. I want to be better. I want to stop living in my head. I want to feel like I belong to this planet. I know those things are within my power, I just have to get there and not act as my own enemy.

Newbie reporting for support.

replies: 3

Hi everyone, My name is Amy, I'm 33 and my husband is clinically depressed and suffers from anxiety. I'm hoping to find some non-judgmental support on these forums every now and again, and to learn to approach my own life in a healthy way by also helping others (sometimes things are much clearer from an outside perspective). In my opinion - and the opinion of some loved ones who have failed to be very supportive - the way my husband and our life currently are is not exactly the best. He isn't being a very loving spouse, or a big contributor to the comfort of our life in general. I work, I do most of the household, I seek most of the affection - he is very checked out at the moment. He struggles to want to participate in life. This all was trigger by him nearly dying from cancer a few years ago - he gave up the fight... and then he got better. And now he is lost. I've known him for a decade and I know it is the illness, not who he is. He was always extremely loving, supportive, caring, present, eager to earn what he has and contribute to our future. I know that's who he truly is. But that's not who he is right now. And I'm trying to find the best way to deal with that in a healthy way. Additionally he is resisting professional help. He has tried here and there - and sadly has been let down quite a bit. Giving up is not an option for me. So I'm hoping to pick up some insight, tools and strength from this community. Hope you are all feeling okay today, Amy

Making the first step for him

replies: 1

My boyfriend of almost 4 years broke up with me a couple of nights ago, he said he just can’t do this, he can’t deal with my depression. It has broken my heart because we tried for so long, last year was the worst year I’ve ever experienced in terms of depression, I wasn’t getting out of bed most days, I didn’t have the energy to, I wasn’t eating, I had a complete lack of appetite and I was taking a lot of my feelings out on him. He stuck through all of that and was there for me, told me that he loved me and that we would get through this. I feel like I’ve just started to really put things into place to help with my depression and I think he saw that and that is why he chose to break up with me now. It just breaks my heart because that is where all of our relationship issues are from; my depression and how I react when I am like that. So I have decided that I’m not going to wait for it to get bad again. He said that he isn’t sure if we could ever try again even if I go and get help for my depression, but I’m trying to think that there is still hope there. So I’m taking the first step in helping myself so that maybe one day he will see that change and hopefully give me another chance. We were childhood sweethearts that found our way back to each other in our mid teens and I hope that we find our way back to one another again. He said that he wants to be friends and he still wants to be here for me, I think he just can’t take the pressure and stress of being my boyfriend while I am in those depressive states. The truth of the matter is that I was awful to him during those times. I would lose it over the smallest things and all this shit that had been in my head and heart and all my frustrations just burst out and I know that isn’t fair to him. As my mum said, when I am bad I am really bad and when I’m good it’s great but during those times it is like walking on egg shells, no one ever knows when it is going to go off and about what. I want him to be happy but more than anything I want me to be happy. Even if getting help for my depression doesn’t result in another chance, I think it is the right thing to do for me.

Stressed and worried

replies: 2

Hi there, last night just trying to relax couldn’t sleep had my partner make me a cup of chamomile tea and I put headphones in at around 1:30am in the morning then all of a sudden my head goes cold and numb and spreads to my mouth and tongue! All the way to my stomach then my heart rate goes crazy! Ended up going to a dr and they checked all my vitals which were normal and had a ecg done. Told it was just a panic attack! today all day I’ve been feeling so ill and sick to my stomach and still have this horrible cold mouth and tongue sensations...I’m afraid it might happen again not sure if any one else has these symptoms? Just very stressed over it I keep thinking there is something seriously wrong with.

Long marriage gone wrong

replies: 1

My name is Margaret and I separated from my husband in January this year after 44+ years together. Although we were no longer in love, there was companionship and I believed implicity in his honesty and integrity. His betrayal has come as a complete shock but even worse is the way that he has denegrated and humiliated me in the process. I really am struggling to know how to cope. My three adult children are remaining impartial. Although I have friends to talk to, it would be really helpful if there is someone out there who has experienced a break down after a lifetime together. Hoping to receive some advice or kind words from the Beyond Blue community.

Supporting an ex

replies: 3

Hi there, My partner broke up with me 4 months ago after dating for 2.5 years. He has a teenage son to his ex wife. He runs a business and was always traveling interstate and overseas. About 1.5 years ago I became emotionally invested in another person after my partner was away a lot, shut me out of his life and asked me to pretend we weren’t together to allow his son to get used to the idea. When he found out he was understandably hurt and angry but we worked through it and or so I had thought. Since then I have devoted all my time and energy to rebuilding the trust and being there for him, being incredibly understanding of his work load and custody arrangements which means we had limited time together. Any argument we had, he would blame me for being invested in someone else as it was an easy way for him to punish us both. After all the guilt I relapsed with an eating disorder and depression and he tried to support me through it.Mid last year our our relationship was back on track. We had bought a house together, I was really close to his son and the future looked bright except for the fact he kept throwing himself into work too much and was never available at weekends. His dad was hen diagnosed with terminal cancer which really rocked him and we were caring for his dad and supporting his mother for the last 6 months. out of the blue my now ex broke up with me over the phone. He said that he had been planning it for a year and he had no interest in ever being in a relationship again as he said all women screw him over. We still speak peak daily and I am trying to help and support him as he has a breakdown. But he says he doesn’t want any help. He is carrying some serious pressure at work, running a business, caring for his dad, looking after his son part-time. Outside of that he says he is broken and does not ever want to see anyone! He says he’s antisocial and this is how he is going to be for the rest of his life. I’m still madly in love with him and want a future with him, but I also realise I need to support him by giving him the space and time he needs. I can tell he is very depressed and broken but the more time he spends alone, the longer he is convincing himself that all people are evil and isolation is better. He refuses to seek professional help or for us to even have couples counselling. This is really started to affect my mental health and I am at a loss of how to help him. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Inside gamer

replies: 2

Hey everyone new here iv had social anxiety for most of my life iam 27 I always seem to be the one person at every social event standing in the corner hoping the event ends soon even going to the shop or puting fuel in my car is a task wondering if a... View more

Meet your community champions! replies: 12

HELP..Am I posting in the right section? replies: 10

Oh hello! replies: 2

New here - worried about my brother replies: 1

Anxiety replies: 2

When You Don't Want to Admit It replies: 1

Newbie reporting for support. replies: 3

Making the first step for him replies: 1

Stressed and worried replies: 2

Long marriage gone wrong replies: 1

Supporting an ex replies: 3

Inside gamer replies: 2