Hi, I have some questions

Palor · ‎04-10-2018

Hi,

I'm new to this so I have no idea how i should be starting but here goes. I'm a 28 year old guy who is studying my masters in nursing and also working part time. I still live at home, with a good family, but has its issues from time to time (Whose doesn't right?). Prior to my current studies i did a double degree in teaching and science, and I also worked throughout. I have a very small number of friends who i am close with but, otherwise don't have a significant other or many meaningful relationships. My mum has always struggled with depression, being admitted to hospital for a psychosis episode a few years back and has always been a negative/ complaining type person, although she won't admit it, and its one of those issues that just gets swept under the rug.

Over the past few years and increasingly more recently, i have felt incredibly down about about myself, and doubted my ability to do anything. Lately and in the past, some of things i have experienced are forgetfulness, inability to focus/concentrate, lack of motivation, chronically tired no matter how much sleep i get, generally disengaged with people, and just can't seem to 'grow up' or engage with life's challenges. I am abit of a worrier, and its getting hard watching my friends get on with their careers and getting married etc.. while i'm still living at home, trying to sort my life out, and feeling pretty down generally. I really don't know what is going on, and why i can't seem to get it together emotionally and in terms of getting life sorted. It's like i don't have any desire to do anything, or nothing excites me or gets me interested. My bad memory is really effecting my ability to study at the moment, and in the past it has affected my ability to work as a high school teacher which is why i stopped and never really got engaged with the profession. I will admit i think i am afraid of people and standing up for myself. I get nervous in social settings and particularly if i am the center of attention but, as soon as i am comfortable i relax and become alot louder and like to have fun. I've gone to see my GP who has been virtually no help, and just put down my emotions to just stress (which i am a very stressed out person) but i have felt pretty crap for a long a time and i don't know why or how to fix it. I am wondering if someone here might be able to give me some ideas, as this is really starting to effect my work/ study life.

Thank you for reading and appreciate your thoughts!

geoff · ‎05-10-2018

Hello Palor, it takes courage to post your first comment, and well done for doing so.

You are certainly well qualified but from what you have told us is happening to you, it would be best to contact another GP because no matter how long you are able to sleep and still wake up tired is certainly something that always happened to me but a sign you could be suffering from depression.

I can't diagnose you, but if you were my brother that's what I would be saying, especially if you have no motivation, I'm really sorry for you, however, with your mother and her symptoms are you able to move out?

When you seek help it's difficult to get better yourself when you have someone in the background displaying signs that she also needs help.

A parents attitude can effect how well their children are and if it's constant then progress for yourself could become slow, that's why I suggest moving out and if you need advice on doing this then please get back to us.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

baet123 · ‎05-10-2018

Hi Palor,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for sharing your situation with us. Extremely brave of you and you should be proud! You are extremely intelligent, resilient and caring which are amazing characteristics to possess and I believe you may be to harsh on yourself.

Sorry to hear that you have been struggling recently, however, what your feeling is extremely normal and far to common unfortunately. It is encouraging that you have a supportive family around you which is great. In terms of your chronic tiredness/fatigue and memory loss, have you been tested for sleep apnoea?

I would consult another GP as your current GP from what you have mentioned above isn't capable of assisting you. Please visit another GP and describe your thoughts and feeling with them and they will be able to assess your situation. It sounds like you are suffering from depression and possibly social anxiety/general anxiety but please consult a professional. It seems as if your undiagnosed conditions are negatively impacting your quality of life. When this occurs, it is time to receive professional help. I would also discuss with your GP the possibility of going on a mental health care plan and medication should it be applicable to your situation.

We all deserve to be happy and your no different. Professional intervention I believe will be extremely beneficial for you.

Please keep us posted and I look forward to hearing back from you shortly.

All the best,

Nick.

Palor · ‎07-10-2018

Hi beat123 & geoff,

Thankyou for your responses. I think ill try and book an appointment with the uni GP this week to see what they think, and find out if there is anything else going on. I haven't been tested for sleep Apnoea before but, will see what the GP says. I have recently been going to see a psychologist every 3 weeks or so to chat about some of the issues, but i'm not sure our conversations have really been all that helpful. I think my main concern is just this lack of motivation and blank mind i seem to have acquired. Either that or years of study related stress is starting to catch up with me but, i still should be able to handle it better then i am.

Thanks again for your replies!

geoff · ‎08-10-2018

Hi Palor, thanks for getting back to us.

I think there are times where we feel we should have been able to cope with a particular situation much better, but no, you have to give yourself some credit, it's not that's easy.

I also want to say that if you don't feel as though you're getting much out of your psychologist then perhaps consider seeing another psychologist.

Geoff.

baet123 · ‎08-10-2018

Hi Palor,

I think booking an appointment with your GP is a good idea. Professional consultations is always a good idea as they will be able to provide you with information and a sense of reassurance. Definitely worth mentioning your symptoms and discussing sleep apnoea with your GP. Most people who have are never diagnosed and its effects on our bodies is immense.

Like Geoff mentioned above, it is okay to "shop around"and find a psychologist that you click with. There is often a significant disconnect between the client and the professional. Finding a health professional you click with and you genuinely feel that they care for you should assist you greatly.

I think you are handling your situation well. You are extremely aware of your situation which is amazing and you are doing something about it. Don't be too hard on yourself.

All the best,

Nick.