Help me please

[Lostlife]

Well I'm here after not having a shower for 2 days and this will be the 3rd day of forcing myself to eat.

I've suffered chronic depression and anxiety since my early teens and am now 50. Menopause is not agreeing with me combined with my partner and I being busted for growing cannabis to help his PTSD because nothing else works and to get medical cannabis is very expensive.

I've taken steps now to find him a bit cheaper medical consultation and appointment so it will never have to happen again.

The police where great and told me I'm only looking at a fine with no jail time but it feels like I've failed.

I'm scared all the time about even leaving the house in case I do anything wrong.

It's effecting my job because I've called in sick twice now and I work as a carer.

I'm on medication for my anxiety/depression but even breathing seems like an effort to me most days now.

[Sophie_M]

Dear Lostlife,

We are sorry to hear that's it's been so difficult for you lately for yourself and your partner. It sounds like you are feeling scared and daily tasks are difficult. Please know that you are not alone in this and there is a lot of support out there. We feel that if you or your partner are at risk of self-harm or if you are feeling suicidal, we would strongly urge you to seek professional help as it is really important that you take immediate steps to keep yourself safe. You can do this by: 

- Speaking to your doctor if he or she is not available right now
-Attending the Emergency Department of your local hospital
-If you feel unable to keep yourself from acting on your thoughts about suicide or self-harm this is an emergency and you need to call 000 (triple zero).

We would also encourage you to call our Support Service on 1300 22 4636. We can help 24 hours a day, seven days a week with counselling support, information and referrals. We can arrange for you to be taken to hospital too if you are at immediate risk of suicide or self-harm.

Beyond Blue