Welcome and Orientation

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Meet your community champions!

replies: 10

Hi everyone, We wanted to share with you the way that our wonderful Community Champions are here to support you. You may have noticed that a few of our Forums members are labelled ‘Community Champion’. Community Champions are volunteers within the Beyond Blue Forums who: have the time, skills and empathy to support other members regularly; help to welcome new members; are actively engaged members that help set the tone of our community. Our Community Champions are regular contributors to many conversations across the forums. They are a consistent and friendly voice that have committed to sharing their experience and expertise with this community. They are not health care professionals or clinicians. Like you, they have an experience with a mental health challenge or diagnosis – either for themselves or someone they care for. This forum is for people who understand what it feels like and have a lived and living experience of mental health challenges. Our Community Champions help everyone feel comfortable and confident by demonstrating what excellent peer support is all about. Click here to find out more about how you can become a Community Champion! This incredible team are excited to introduce themselves below, and we are sure you’ll see them around the forums in conversations important to you.

HELP..Am I posting in the right section?

replies: 10

Welcome to those who are considering posting for the very first time, welcome. Thought I would repost part of the words that Chris B posted awhile ago, (2014) as I can hear that people are unsure if they are posting in the right section or worried that they are posting "the wrong thing". 1.A good title makes the difference Just like a headline in a newspaper, when scanning the dozens of threads to click into, it’s only natural that people will choose the ones that resonate with them most. A title that entices the reader, or asks a question, is likely to get a better result than something non-descriptive like “Depression” or “I don't know what to do”. If you think you’re not good at choosing titles, leave it till last. Spend time writing your post, then perhaps choose a sentence from what you’ve written as the title. 2.Join in threads that have already been posted We all have our own unique stories, but part of the reason for joining a forum like this one is because you know that you will have a lot in common with others who are posting. Before starting a new thread, have a look through the current topics being discussed and see if there’s a conversation you can join in with. It can be quite common to have a handful of very similar threads happening at any one time, with members seemingly unaware that there are others right there who are going through the same thing. Talking to other members on their threads is a great way of getting yourself known so that when you post a thread of your own, people may respond quicker because they recognize your name. 3.Choose the most appropriate section for your post Many people browse the forums looking for stories specifically to do with pregnancy and parenting, employment, grief, loss, separation etc. Going straight for the “Depression” section may seem like the easiest option, but this section is often the busiest, so your post is more likely to get lost among the threads. Making good use of the different forum sections not only helps keep the forum relevant, but you’re more likely to find others who are going through the same experiences as you. Also, if you're wanting to discuss issues of trauma, abuse, suicidal thoughts or self-harm, it's really important you post in the designated section to avoid triggering others who may not wish to read about these topics. Mostly..just come and chat, we are here for you. Our amazing wizards in the background will see your message ends up in the right spot. Sarah

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Fatigue Issues

replies: 1

Hi everyone, I've been experiencing quite significant fatigue that seems to be getting worse and is severely affecting day to day activities. I thought that it was related to seasonal allergies but have been provided treatment for that and am not sneezing or having the watery eyes that are usually associated with this time of year so I'm starting to think that it's a different phenomenon. What's strange is that I feel like I constantly want to close my eyes and lie down and yet I still often have plenty of energy in my body and will often want to shake my legs or tap my feet while lying down to expel some of this energy. It's almost like my head wants to rest while the rest of my body still wants to be active. Additionally, I often notice myself being pale or slightly light-headed when I stand up from a lying state and that this might be associated with anemia instead of allergies or depression, is anyone else experiencing symptoms of this type?

Not coping

replies: 4

Hi im in a no win situation my parents are both ill and I care for them full time. I care for children who are not mine. i have a husband who is not supportive and doesn’t care i am. Very ill and can’t do treatment Cos my siblings don’t help with parents I’m suffering from anxiety im now not coping I’m angry and I’m crying all the time my husband is always rude to me he says dumb things disrespectful things to me. but to others he makes out like he is the most caring and wonderfull guy. Not true. im at a loss what can I do im just not in a good place

Coping with tourism shutdown

replies: 1

Hundreds of staff have suddenly had their hours reduced due to the travel bans associated with the virus outbreak. It has been a week and after the initial shock of losing hours, the financial pressures will be building. The fact that no one knows when the bans will be lifted is of concern to thousands of hospitality workers. 100 staff were severely impacted in 1 hotel property alone in north Queensland. Many small businesses will close if the travel bans do not lift by the end of March. This is the impact of the virus that people are failing to fully understand and acknowledge. Expect a lot more activity on your site.

Psychologically messed up from cheating Ex Partner of 10 years and 5 months ...

replies: 1

Second time, told me straight away. Felt immediate guilt, stopped. Had Affair, 3 months later over 6 months. He had remorse, crying for many months randomly. Only time in regretting it. Walk into Bedroom, be crying inconsolably. Caught him Sexting with her again months later. Blocked and deleted number once she stopped. let me check his phone whenever, was his idea. I did too! Mess me up in forever, mistrust. 10 years and 5 months, shared a space with his Cousin. 16 months into our relationship. Intermediately, confronting him with visible evidence also. Yet told me it was over. Was weary, always checking his Phone. He didn’t know, was last 3 years, Mobile was always facing downwards with Screen. Knew he was being deceitful. Texts, I want to be with you too and one with 5 lines of Love Emojis from her. Never stopped secretly seeing each other. Evidence backed this as his Partner, catch him. He would say, I don’t look at her that way. Though in my Heart, his love for her was there. Found out when he was in Hospital overnight. Never left his side except the night. Read every conversation between them, fessing their love for each other. Wishing they could be together, not with her Partner at the time or me. Read numerous times repeated conversations of their feelings known to each other. Wishing they weren’t Cousins.. Suspected it never stopped off on and for years in seeing inappropriate Texts on his Phone. Also called her name out in his sleep, twice. I caught her out the second last Christmas together, various times. The Cousin thought her gazes of intimacy towards him for lingering seconds, no one had seen. Wrong, I seen, 5 times that day. She was totally “love struck”. I was totally devastated from that day when we were together. History does not lie! Seen a Happy Anniversary Card is the final answer to the truth . Suspect, there sexual attraction towards each other has been going on the whole time. Just over a year, we split. Have Sleep Terrors any time, day or night & barely sleep anymore. Hide away from the outside world besides my normal activities that I enjoy. It’s thrown in my Face, see them together at times because we live in the same area. I run into them on rare occasions too. Pretend not to see them when possible. Last time, he couldn’t take his Eyes off me. Make a point, always looking good for me. It gave me a feeling of empowerment with his reaction. He could not had walked any slower if he tried to see me as long as possible.

Monthly Forums Update: Reflecting back on January

replies: 2

Hi Everyone As we start a new year, it’s important to review the month that was and take a moment to acknowledge everyone who has joined our community – it wouldn’t be what it is today without you! We'll use these monthly updates to highlight threads and topics that have generated ongoing discussion, while also acknowledging our Valued Contributors, Life Members and new Community Champions. Also keep an eye out for reflections from our Community Champions about what they’ve found to be helpful in order to keep on top of their mental health and wellbeing! This space will also share additional Beyond Blue updates such as new Personal Best articles on staying well, (check them out here!) and additional tools or resources from BB. To read more about what a Valued Contributor is and how you can nominate a fellow community member, please refer to our thread Nominate a Valued Contributor here To learn more about our current Community Champions or if you yourself are interested in becoming a Community Champion, feel free to follow the links below: Introducing...the community champions Become an Online Community Champion Community Voices: What are people talking about? Coping with Bushfires: Understanding grief, loss and trauma We’d like to thank everyone who has been involved in welcoming and supporting our community in this thread and acknowledge that the bushfire crisis in Australia continues to affect the lives of many. This thread has become a welcoming space for people to share their stories and receive support from others in order to recover, heal and stay well. If you’re struggling please feel free to reach out here. In relation to this topic, Beyond Blue has also created a Bushfires and mental health page which offers a range of resources for anyone seeking support. How to be build, maintain friendships and be social while struggling with your mental health “I guess what I'm saying is that you have to put yourself out there a bit, be a bit vulnerable and take some chances. Not all of your efforts will result in a positive outcome. This is not necessarily a reflection on you and will more likely reflect what's going on for the other person involved. They too could be shy or having a bad day or just not pick up on the social cues or opportunity you are providing for contact. You just keep trying because as my Grandmother used to say, There is a lid for every pot.” – Thank you Summer Rose (read more here). “In regards to social anxiety, it is difficult to overcome, but CBT and 'exposure' therapy is very effective in treating social anxiety, as it continually exposes the person to the situations that make them anxious, and over time, their anxiety will decrease. I know that depression and social anxiety plays a huge role in the interference of sleep (particularly social anxiety), and from personal experience, sometimes makes it nearly impossible to sleep and silence the thoughts and social worries” – Thank you pinkwren (read more here). "The constant fear of rejection has resulted over the years of being scared in social situations where I feel extremely self conscious...Here is a list of some of the things that I have found that help me to cope with panic attacks. I practice mindful meditation every day. Walk every day. Have a dog that gives me unconditional love. Spend time with nature and absorb its beauty. Drink alcohol in small quantities. Drink decaf coffee. Eat a healthy diet and love to cook. Have regular health checks." - Thank you Hound Dog (read more here). VC Award Our Valued Contributor for the month of January is Katyonthehamsterwheel. Katyonthehamsterwheel has been a welcoming voice in the community, ensuring new members feel heard and receive a warm ‘hello’. Katy can also be seen to regularly check-in on members to offer her continued support and positivity, while also being open about her own lived experience with mental health issues and what has helped her in staying well. Thank you Katyonthehamsterwheel! Life Member Shout-out Our Life Members are individuals who have dedicated over three years to the forums. We’d like to give a big shoutout to Croix who has become a Life Member as of January. Croix has been a guiding light to many members on the forums and has been a Community Champion since in 2015. He has demonstrated his ability to be empathetic and respectful when talking to others on the forums and is dedicated to empowering others to seek support, share their stories, and make others feel like they are not alone in their journey. Thank you for all your time and effort on the forums Croix! A little bit about us, the moderation team! Sophie_M is the face of the moderation team here at Beyond Blue. The team is here to assist anyone with any questions or concerns about the moderation of your posts and or the posts/wellbeing of other members. Feel free to also reach out if you have any general queries about the forums – we’re happy to talk things through. To get in touch with the moderation team email us anytime at modsupport@beyondblue.org.au Our community is here to listen and discuss ways to support you in achieving your best possible mental health – we look forward to seeing you around the forums! The Modsupport Team

Newbie: I’m SuzyD

replies: 3

Hello Everyone... I’m SuzyD ... I’m a 49 year old woman ... divorced ... 3 adult children, 1 son-in-law & 3 adorable grand-babies ... no pets ... 3 tree’s in pots that are still living (touch wood) I joined BB because since a trauma at aged 7 (and various events over the years, including 17 years in a religious cult-like situation, of which I’ve broken away from), I have struggled to make lasting connections w ppl ... I’ve only recently learned the reasons for that struggle, after discovering an incredible author called Brené Brown ... she’s a Social Worker/Shame Researcher ... many of you have possibly heard of her work ... her books have totally floored me; it was like the penny dropped after watching her TED Talk, and reading her books ... anyway, I’m not here to promote her, hehe, but just sharing how enlightening it has been learning the results of her research and now I understand so much more about why I am the way I am ... I know it’ll take time to repair the damage that was done, but in the meantime, I’d love to meet and begin to make connections w new ppl on here, and hear your own stories.. Brené talks about Guilt & Shame ... Guilt is: I have done something wrong ... and Shame is: I am wrong! This mindset of ‘I am wrong’, and feeling like I’m not worthy of love, belonging and connection, is the struggle ... we are wired for connection, but when we can’t connect, or don’t know how, we self-destruct, of which I did ... I have Diffuse Scleroderma, an auto-immune disease, which is an over production of collagen in my body; it affects my entire body, including internal organs ... one theory for causing this kind of disease is stress & anxiety, of which I had been in this state for many years ... I’m not saying this is the cause of all medical issues, but I feel this is a strong possibility for mine! My stress and anxiety was made up of a fear that I’m not loved or worthy of being loved, and that I don’t fit/belong anywhere; survival mode or fight or flight ... my default reaction is to disappear and hide away when I’m sensing rejection, and so I’m now learning how to have courage and to address the issues that trouble me, as they happen, instead of holding on to them, hidden away, stewing on them, on my own ... Silence keeps me in shame , while empathy is the antidote to shame ... this is why websites like this are so valuable, so thank you to BB, you’re doing a stunning job! Anyway, that’s a little bit of my story ... Thanks for listening!

Introduction...newbie

replies: 3

Hello, Where would we be without Beyond Blue? I would have no one to confide in. I can’t stop crying and I hide it day in and day out but I don’t have to hide it when I call BB. Single mum of two 100% care. Ex husband who was also my best friend cheated. Not in a million years would I of expected that happening. Broken family, heart, faith and mind. The loneliness is just sad really. People say do something for you. Yeah who with? Myself? I’m tired of doing things with myself. I just wish I had a best friend, someone I could call on, talk to. People have their own lives, happy lives with others and at the end of the day they won’t do anything for me. It’s a waste of breath and you once again get let down. Sorry it’s depressing. I would appreciate any advice if possible. I look forward to reading other threads.

my introduction

replies: 6

Hello everyone, I am Kat and I have had a lifelong history of anxiety and depression. my life right now isnt going anywhere because of it, i dont have a job im employed at (but i make some money housesitting), im lonely, and it feels like no one cares. ive been having trouble concentrating/making mistakes a lot/feeling over my head with every task. my work history is patchy so i feel too scared to apply for proper work and still live at home. I graduated with a bachelor of arts three years ago but have never used it. i dont have any family here besides my mother who is always saying shes sick of me. she has a lot of anger issues too..and it takes its toll.whenever i bring up therapy she says its too expensive. my main problem is being isolated and feeling like no one offers me any help. and instead they just berate me a lot, everything feels too late to turn around like this is just my life and i hate it. even with my birthday im always alone and people will act like its too much to ask to hang out with me, but a friend will demand i stop what im doing to help her with all of her problems. i dont know why no one does it back for me. i feel like i could be achieving a lot but im not and everything its far too hard and bad to turn around..hoping these forums will help

Introducing Myself

replies: 9

Hello! Newbie here. I'm a PhD student from the United States living in Australia for a year doing some research for my dissertation. For most of my life I have struggled with depression and anxiety, and have sought a variety of different treatments. Over the past few years I have been doing better than I ever have before, and as mental health is both the subject of my academic research and very important to me personally, I wanted to join the community and lend support in any way I can. Looking forward to listening, sharing, and contributing!

Hi, I’m new!

replies: 2

Hi there, I’m new to this so forgive me if I do this wrong. I’m “pheobe” and was diagnosed with GA and depression about 12yrs ago and have on meds since which took a while but ultimately saved me. Over the years I’ve had small downs but nothing major till now. Had a major episode a month ago for 5 days and this one 6 days ago. Have now increased meds slightly to see if it helps. Which of course comes with side affects and the doubt and worry it won’t work and things will get worse. So I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t. Ive had to take today off to give my body time to adjust as I knew there was a potential to burst into unstoppable tears in front of my coworkers which would be devastating and even more distressing. Thankfully I’ve only had tears once today and in the comfort of my home. But I can’t stay home forever. I’ve been reading a lot about natural treatments for depression and find it overwhelming. I know nothing is immediate but if anyone knows of any techniques that can help reduce my symptoms I’d be very grateful. Thanks. Pheobe

Meet your community champions! replies: 10

HELP..Am I posting in the right section? replies: 10

Fatigue Issues replies: 1

Not coping replies: 4

Coping with tourism shutdown replies: 1

Psychologically messed up from cheating Ex Partner of 10 years and 5 months ... replies: 1

Monthly Forums Update: Reflecting back on January replies: 2

Newbie: I’m SuzyD replies: 3

Introduction...newbie replies: 3

my introduction replies: 6

Introducing Myself replies: 9

Hi, I’m new! replies: 2