Hello Charding, it must be devastating to know that your husband has been doing this for a long time and the mistrust he has bestowed on the marriage
You can read all the books on fidelity and they will help you but only to a certain extent, simply because the books don't involve you, yourself and the exact situation you're in.
I realise there must be questions which may not be answered and these may cause you to feel like this and perhaps not knowing every detail may or may not help you.
I did catch my wife (ex) ringing from a public phone booth a couple of times but wasn't told anything and as I was denying my depression, this is what tipped me over into having a breakdown.
He maybe remorseful, which is good, however, you can't repair his broken trust with just promises of forgiveness or being sorry, because it needs to be looked on by both spouses for the issues to be sorted out.
What if your husband is emotionally unavailable to you during these low times then your situation is going to become much harder, because he's been living with 2 'wives'.
Relationship counselling may help but it wasn't for me nor my wife, but every couple is totally different.
I do feel very sorry for you and know trust is so hard to regain.
We'd really like to hear back from you.
Geoff.
