Greetings from the KarmaLlama

[KarmaLlama]

Hey all

I find myself here after struggling to help my son navigate the fog he finds himself in. I'm sure (hoping) the collective masses can provide me with some insight and various things we can try.

I am the mother of 2 teens, 15 and 16, and foster carer to two little ones. We live in rural Australia ... beautiful, but challenging accessing professional help.

My son is 16, diagnosed ASD/Gifted and has depression. He hasn't been formally diagnosed ... but that Black Dog follows him around unrelentingly. You can see it. He can feel it. We can't fix it. He doesn't want to speak to anyone about it, including my husband and I, and I really don't know what to do. It's hella confronting because, as his mother, I've always known what to do. I feel helpless and so sad for him. He's an amazing human being and I would give anything for him to believe that truth.

As with any parent, I wish I could fix it ... but I can't, so I'm here to find real and practical ways that I can help him .

Where to from here?

🙂

[Aaronsis]

Hi KarmaLlama
I am so glad that you have joined us here and to reach out for some support, being a parent is so tough and especially when you have extra things on your plate too, like the ASD as well as being rural and then on top the feeling of helplessness when you want to fix everything for them and cant, it is so tough and so very frustrating.
I am wondering though how you would feel about a call to the Kids Helpline, 1800 55 1800, they could work through some things for you to try as they are professionals with this sort of thing and can give you some tips. The thing is that maybe he may even come around to the idea of you having a call together and you can help him through the reasons why he doesn’t want to reach out, it would be like you were doing it together.
The fact that you are also fostering children just shows you care and love for these kids and they are so very lucky to have you in their life and to try to support them. I am wondering even if you had thought about reaching out to perhaps somewhere like our call centre for someone to chat to through this time, the Beyond Blue help line is on 1300 22 4636.
It would be great to chat to you some more and see how you are going, we are here to support you KarmaLlama.
Hugs to you
AS

[KarmaLlama]

Thank you sincerely AS for taking the time to respond. Knowing that someone is listening is helpful in itself. I took your advice and called the BB help line. The Counsellor I spoke with provided some realistic ways we could help him and ourselves traverse it. We really got down to the roots of how it all starts and grows and she talked to me about various paths we could travel ourselves as parents / guides to lead the way to healing. She also talked a lot about sitting with the discomfort of it all. I subsequently had a talk to my husband yesterday about the things we could do surrounding helpful language. I feel a whole lot more confident on how to respond to my son with the things he says and does relating to his self loathing and we've already taken the first steps by enrolling him at the local gym and committing to taking him to the local lake for long runs. It's what he used to do and he was happier within himself when he did. Serotonin rocks. It's not a quick fix but hopefully all of these things do their little part to help him feel better about himself. Blessings to you ... KL

[Aaronsis]

Hello KL

I am so very happy for you that you made the call and that you have some solid things to put in place, that is fantastic. It is our pleasure to be here for you and to help through these times. I can tell from your post how much better you are feeling, you are right in saying it is not an overnight fix, but hey..it is a huge start.

Well done and please chat here anytime and reach out to the wonderful team on the phone line too. We are all here for you. It really sounds like you had a wonderful conversation and I am so happy for you that you have talked it through.

Hugs

AS