Hello

[Jack_J]

Hello,
been looking through people's posts for a while and decided to try it myself. Mainly just here to get things of chest and see if I can get anything out of it (and seeing how nice the people on here when it comes to these things seems like I will).

Bit of background,

16, Have countless issues both mentally and physically, but major ones being autism (which is a benefit for my as it has always helped me excel in school), bipolar, doctors say I have high levels of anxiety but don't really know as its what i'm used to, and bit of depression here and there mainly linked to bipolar. Then the major issue which is a eating disorder not such of anorexic or bulimic but rather ties in with autism and for me I can't eat certain foods (well most of them, brain just says nope when I try and it makes me have panic attacks). This is probably my biggest issue as it affects both physically and socially.

The reason i'm really here is because for me i'm used to how I live (like bad thoughts and high levels of stress (mainly just thinking into things people say and/or things i see)) and i'm starting to realize its not what is normal. This never really bothered me as I don't really like talking to people in social situations mainly because I stress about how they perceive me and I rather being alone. But recently its not been possible with group projects at school and I have been trying to talk to other people outside of my social group. But my key issue is social signs and body language people give, lately this girl has been talking to me for about 5 months and her friend recently told me she liked me, but I don't really know social ques and such, and so I find it hard to talk with her face to face. So my issue is really how do I become better with talking and getting out of comfort zone.

Thanks for reading anyway, don't need reply just getting things of my chest.

[PamelaR]

Hi Jack J and warm welcome to our community

Thank you for sharing your story. It is good to get things off your chest. Though from everything you say it looks like you have life very sorted. You know exactly what is happening to you and why. Not everyone can do that, you are managing your life very well at 16 - that is good.

Now, life is changing for you. The time comes to learn to manage social interactions that you're unfamiliar with and not quite so interpretative. Because you are so high functioning, doing a bit of reading about body language, social cues, social etiquette might help. Have you read the articles on the following website?

https://raisingchildren.net.au/autism/communicating-relationships/communicating/conversation-skills-for-teens-with-asd

It will be useful to learn about communicating with others.

Getting out of your comfort zone will take time and practice. Be patient with yourself as changes happen in your life. Do you have a support person? E.g. a close family member or health professional?

Panic attacks may happen or your may become stressed as you try to participate in social interactions with others. There are many ways to manage the fear that might start. Try some of the techniques outlined at:

https://www.youthbeyondblue.com/do-something-about-it/keeping-well/relaxation-exercises

Hope some of this helps Jack.

Kind regards

PamelaR

[baet123]

Hey Jack,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for sharing your story with us. This is extremely brave and courageous of you and you should be proud. Your only 16 and have been through a great deal and I can tell your extremely intelligent, resilient and strong. These are amazing qualities you posses.

You will find these forums are an extremely loving, caring and non-judgmental platform where you can post as little or as much as possible or even just read and learn from others experiences. I hope you can find these forums beneficial.

It is great that you are exercising mindfulness. This is super important and you are super aware for your age and this will greatly assist you with all of your future endeavours throughout your whole life.

In regards to the social ques and social interaction, the more exposure you receive, the better you will be at it. Don't be too harsh on yourself. Do you enjoy computer games or have any hobbies that interest you a lot? I would recommend using apps similar to meetup or w3app and finding like minded people and increasing your social network and skills. Just be yourself and it will get better the more and more practice and exposure to different social situations. You are extremely intelligent and have a bright future ahead.

Hope this helped and look forward to learning more about you.

All the best,

Nick.