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Meet your community champions!

replies: 13

Hi everyone, We wanted to share with you the way that our wonderful Community Champions are here to support you. You may have noticed that a few of our Forums members are labelled ‘Community Champion’. Community Champions are volunteers within the Beyond Blue Forums who: have the time, skills and empathy to support other members regularly; help to welcome new members; are actively engaged members that help set the tone of our community. Our Community Champions are regular contributors to many conversations across the forums. They are a consistent and friendly voice that have committed to sharing their experience and expertise with this community. They are not health care professionals or clinicians. Like you, they have an experience with a mental health challenge or diagnosis – either for themselves or someone they care for. This forum is for people who understand what it feels like and have a lived and living experience of mental health challenges. Our Community Champions help everyone feel comfortable and confident by demonstrating what excellent peer support is all about. Click here to find out more about how you can become a Community Champion! This incredible team are excited to introduce themselves below, and we are sure you’ll see them around the forums in conversations important to you.

HELP..Am I posting in the right section?

replies: 10

Welcome to those who are considering posting for the very first time, welcome. Thought I would repost part of the words that Chris B posted awhile ago, (2014) as I can hear that people are unsure if they are posting in the right section or worried that they are posting "the wrong thing". 1.A good title makes the difference Just like a headline in a newspaper, when scanning the dozens of threads to click into, it’s only natural that people will choose the ones that resonate with them most. A title that entices the reader, or asks a question, is likely to get a better result than something non-descriptive like “Depression” or “I don't know what to do”. If you think you’re not good at choosing titles, leave it till last. Spend time writing your post, then perhaps choose a sentence from what you’ve written as the title. 2.Join in threads that have already been posted We all have our own unique stories, but part of the reason for joining a forum like this one is because you know that you will have a lot in common with others who are posting. Before starting a new thread, have a look through the current topics being discussed and see if there’s a conversation you can join in with. It can be quite common to have a handful of very similar threads happening at any one time, with members seemingly unaware that there are others right there who are going through the same thing. Talking to other members on their threads is a great way of getting yourself known so that when you post a thread of your own, people may respond quicker because they recognize your name. 3.Choose the most appropriate section for your post Many people browse the forums looking for stories specifically to do with pregnancy and parenting, employment, grief, loss, separation etc. Going straight for the “Depression” section may seem like the easiest option, but this section is often the busiest, so your post is more likely to get lost among the threads. Making good use of the different forum sections not only helps keep the forum relevant, but you’re more likely to find others who are going through the same experiences as you. Also, if you're wanting to discuss issues of trauma, abuse, suicidal thoughts or self-harm, it's really important you post in the designated section to avoid triggering others who may not wish to read about these topics. Mostly..just come and chat, we are here for you. Our amazing wizards in the background will see your message ends up in the right spot. Sarah

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Tired.

replies: 2

I'm a single mom of 5 who left a violent relationship of 18 years a few months ago while pregnant with my youngest. It has been a rough ride for all of us. I have no family and friends due to the isolation my ex partner created for me. I suffer from anxiety and depression and still don't really feel good enough. I find it hard to form friendships as when I talk to people the cruel words he had said to me run through my mind and I just feel stupid and unworthy. I know that it will be a long road to recovery and to feel normal again, but I do struggle with confidence issues a lot and worry how this will affect my children a lot. I also worry about the impact the relationship has had on my children. Seeing a councilor for myself is hard because I have to take the children with me, so I just haven't bothered to go. Sometimes I feel quite lost, stressed and feel that my life has no purpose. The only thing that keeps me going is my kids and the thought that I'm not the only one and somewhere out there someone else is struggling more than me. SSometimes I feel selfish for feeling depressed, that I just need to toughen up and get on with it.

Seeking Advice re my Niece

replies: 3

My Niece is suffering from undiagnosed chronic pain and has not been to school for over two years. She has been in and out of hospital for years and has a mistrust of all medical practitioners. In her words "because they can't find out what is wrong with me they think I am crazy". This has resulted in her now suffering extreme anxiety and depression. After her most recent hospitalisation she has deteriorated to such a point that she does not leave her room. My sister finally got her engaged in some psychiatric care but in short they "blew her world up then deserted her". I know that sounds dramatic but she opened herself up and so did my sister, some stuff came out which they made my sister address, then within weeks the support stopped, my niece felt abandoned and my sister has been left with a broken family and a child that has totally shut down. My sister has found a neurologist that is dedicated to finding the source of my nieces pain, This issue now is my niece refuses to engage, she simply won't go to hospital. I am really worried as my niece is getting more depressed and withdrawn, she is pale and has lost heaps of weight. I am seeking advice on any tactics to help get her willingly to hospital. ANY advice is appreciated

Mother of two. Feeling a little lost

replies: 3

The past few months i've felt a little off, i tend to overthink and over analyze my everyday life. Had some really bad days in a row, so i went to the gp, he said i seem anxious and a little stressed told me to look for social groups and continue with my exercise and speak to family and ask for help. But i haven't so far, i guess its a little hard to admit i need the help in a way. I know that medication is an option but i dont know if i want to take medication, but with how i am feeling and taking things out on my partner, family and kids i don't know if no medication is an option. I'm doing my best to be positive and doing what i can to get back to my old self but its harder then i thought. I just feel like at any moment, my life is going to crumble and fall apart and I feel helpless. Honestly i feel silly even posting this, i have so much to be grateful for and i just don't feel that at all.

Introducing myself

replies: 5

Hello Everyone Firstly, I want to say I appreciate what the people on this forum do. I've lurked in the last few months when I’ve felt particularly low, and it’s been very reassuring that there is a supportive community that takes the time to read and address each thread. Secondly, I guess I just want to share my story, get some outside perspective, even find someone who can relate. My social circle is small and I seem to find reasons that prevent me from talking. Conversationally, I believe I’m fairly open and there aren’t any taboo topics. I’m happy to answer any questions, I’m just not great at sharing unprompted. Thirdly (for context, I suppose), I’m in my late 20s, cis-male, I identify as pansexual and polyamourous. I’m on medication for depression, and until recently was seeing a therapist (they moved). I’ve been in a long term relationship, which despite bumps in the road, continues to be a major support. After almost 9 years, we’re both still in love and still committed to each other. Our relationship has changed shape in the last few months (at my request), as I realised I had become very co-dependant and was not coping. I’m in constant conflict about how to feel about myself and my issues; on an almost daily basis, it seems to flick between “This is pathetic, everyone has their own stuff to deal with and this is just mine, so get on with it and stop complaining” to “I’ve had a tough time of it, I should take it easy on yourself”. I've also been conflicted over my misuse of marijuana, this is something my therapist was aware of. I have an almost invisible genetic condition that impacts my day-to-day life for most of the year. It effectively means that I don’t sweat, which impacts my ability to exercise, as a simple 30 minute walk on a 20C day will cause extreme discomfort. It also causes major issues with my ability to function during summer. This is a symptom that I’ve been unable to push through. Another symptom of this condition means I only have 1/3rd of my teeth, so I have worn an upper and lower denture since early childhood. I don’t know where to stop, but this feels like.. “Enough” for now (also, word limit!). Currently, I’m struggling to get up in the mornings, and it feels like a challenge to go to work. There are just so many areas of my life that I’m not happy with, and it feels like taking a step forward in one area means two steps back in another. Thanks for reading. Isaac

To meditate or not to meditate?

replies: 4

Hello everyone, Long story short I have been diagnosed with chronic depression, and complex post-traumatic stress disorder. I am being treated and will be for my whole life. Life has its ups and downs, for four years from 2008 until 2012 I was seriously unwell. I am out the other side. I can have days where my mind is chattering and that intense fears come, and mindfulness helps me through sometimes. Other times it takes days. I have an autistic son, who is struggling with his emotions and I am finding it hard to keep him in a good place. To combat this I have been seriously thinking about undertaking some sort of meditation. I asked a hospital psychologist recently about it (I had a right knee replacement), and she suggests due to my diagnosis that she would not suggest that I do this. I am not quite sure why maybe it has something to do with displacement or disassociation? I was wondering how other members feel and could they give me advice on this. I would try anything to keep me well. Thank you so much Leisa68

Why love is so painful!

replies: 1

Hi everyone! I want to know why loving someone can be so painful. I lived a very traumatic childhood (constant physical, verbal, emotional and psychological abuse) and left home when I was 22 years in a hope that one fine day I will be loved. Within 3 months I got trapped into a same life from which I ran away. The patterns were the same. I loved him and let him control me in the name of love. The same way I loved my mother and let her control me. But this time I got trapped with my free will. I was love bombed on so many occasions: some occasions where i tried to leave him. A love deprived person got trapped in a prison made up of fake love. After trying many times to leave him in last 16 years, I once again left him 2 months ago and my life is going through the same phase that I have experienced so many times before but this time I am not giving up. My 16 years of married life has been so complicated that I do not know where to begin and may be thats why I want to escape from the memories altogether but I know body keeps score and I have started seeing my physical and mental health deteriorating. In brief, my husband of 16 years has bipolar disorder (doesnt seek treatment), is alcoholic and abuses cannabis. But he thinks its me who is abnormal and has some mental issues. May be he is right! How can I have lived with such a man for 16 years? Sometimes when nobody judges me, i judge myself! He has abused me in all possible ways from physical, verbal, psychological, financial and on few odd occasions sexual. But he made me think that everything that he did to me was my fault as I provoked him, something I always heard from my mother. I always believed in what my mother said and was a product of low self esteem and didn’t feel different when my ex husband said the same or treated me the same. I kept excusing his behaviour either based on his condition, or my visa status, my children, my financial dependence or that as I married him so till death do us apart, in sickness and health. we all are product of our experiences! I have no family support and couldn’t make friends as my ex husband always either criticised me for keeping friends and sharing my pain or stopped me from meeting them. But my children have given me strength once again to fight back. I know I have long road to recovery but I am not scared anymore!! Thank you for listening!

feeling lost

replies: 2

Hi been feeling lost and feel like I'm loosing who I am and turning into this person I do not want to be I used to be very happy funny and bubbly person. now I feel like I'm sad,angry,lonely and lost all the time and find my self Gering into arguments with my partner alot more than i used to I feel like I'm not the same person I was 1yr ago I need help and do not know where to go to help

I Don't know What to say or do anymore.

replies: 1

My partner and I have been together for 8yrs. And the last 2yrs have been so tough. After breaking up then getting back together then finding out I was pregnant with our second child then 3months later his dad passes away from a massive heart attack we took in his nan as his dad was her carerer So we had to move into a bigger house it's hard I won't lie as I'm home doing the caring and not him But that's just another story. 2months ago I found out that my partner hooked up with his own brothers girlfriend 3times! I was devastated! Still am I knew something was up but he made me out that I was just some paranoid person I can certainly tell u I'm not I had a gut feeling and I listen to it and searched and asked questions until I found out. Thats been difficult to deal with! But today I'm hear needing support and advice as my partner has an addiction to porn! and it's just breaking me down When I first meet him we had so much sex The intimacy was great! So connected! Didn't even know he watched porn until the sex started to die down over the years. And then having kids and busy lives blah The first time I caught him I was like why aren't u including me in this! I think we watched it together a few times then it stopped and he said he didn't watch porn anymore and then the arguments started when I caught him out again what the actual! U told me u weren't watching it anymore Why lie to me Anyway fast forward we hardly have sex anymore When we do its bloody great! Always is But then days and weeks go by it really seems to me that he is choosing to watch porn over having sex with me Any alone time he can get. Bathroom in his car on way home(he told me) oh and after a terrible day on the weekend I finally get kids to bed dealing with his nan as she keeps missplacing things finally go outside and there his watching porn to on tv setup outside i've had it All I'm simply trying to do is talk to him like a mature adult about these things how it's affecting me How it's getting in the way How its making me very insecure and lonely Ive even said..Why can't we do it together? Include me but he doesn't want to wtf! Like every other time, I have tried to talk to him about it all and he just tells me to shut up. His even called me a jealous cow and to keep it to myself. all I want is him and all he wants is the screen im a stressed mumma and I just feel so rejected

My partner is on work cover and I feel lost

replies: 1

This is my first ever post . I didn’t know where else to go so here I am My partner had a really bad work place accident in Jan he still is in a bad way not just physical but emotional as well we have a very strong relationship and my priority is him that’s why I am unable to tell him how I feel as he is dealing with enough and it’s my job to support him but I’m finding it very hard I’m working as much as l can to support us which means I miss seeing our kids and doing weekend things as a family he is able to do somethings at home but I have found lately he is doing less and less he will just sit on the couch or on his phone most of the day which makes it hard as after working 12 shift then having to come home and cook for the 9 of us and clean is becoming very frustrating he also has lost pride in him self and he has put on a lot of weight which doesn’t worry me but I know it worries him I have tried and tried over the last 10 months to fix this and I am now and a cross road I don’t know what to do or where to go he has lots of support though work cover but I find being the partner there is no help no one to talk to no where to go I need help everything is on my shoulders and it’s getting to heavy to carry alone my question is has anyone been in a similar situation and where do you go what do you do this is going to be a long road and I’m so worried about my whole family our mortgage our bills just day to day stuff can anyone lead me in the right place thank you

Introduction

replies: 1

Hi my name is Samantha but people call me sam I have depression ocd and alot of medical problems

Meet your community champions! replies: 13

HELP..Am I posting in the right section? replies: 10

Tired. replies: 2

Seeking Advice re my Niece replies: 3

Mother of two. Feeling a little lost replies: 3

Introducing myself replies: 5

To meditate or not to meditate? replies: 4

Why love is so painful! replies: 1

feeling lost replies: 2

I Don't know What to say or do anymore. replies: 1

My partner is on work cover and I feel lost replies: 1

Introduction replies: 1