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Meet your community champions!

replies: 10

Hi everyone, We wanted to share with you the way that our wonderful Community Champions are here to support you. You may have noticed that a few of our Forums members are labelled ‘Community Champion’. Community Champions are volunteers within the Beyond Blue Forums who: have the time, skills and empathy to support other members regularly; help to welcome new members; are actively engaged members that help set the tone of our community. Our Community Champions are regular contributors to many conversations across the forums. They are a consistent and friendly voice that have committed to sharing their experience and expertise with this community. They are not health care professionals or clinicians. Like you, they have an experience with a mental health challenge or diagnosis – either for themselves or someone they care for. This forum is for people who understand what it feels like and have a lived and living experience of mental health challenges. Our Community Champions help everyone feel comfortable and confident by demonstrating what excellent peer support is all about. Click here to find out more about how you can become a Community Champion! This incredible team are excited to introduce themselves below, and we are sure you’ll see them around the forums in conversations important to you.

HELP..Am I posting in the right section?

replies: 10

Welcome to those who are considering posting for the very first time, welcome. Thought I would repost part of the words that Chris B posted awhile ago, (2014) as I can hear that people are unsure if they are posting in the right section or worried that they are posting "the wrong thing". 1.A good title makes the difference Just like a headline in a newspaper, when scanning the dozens of threads to click into, it’s only natural that people will choose the ones that resonate with them most. A title that entices the reader, or asks a question, is likely to get a better result than something non-descriptive like “Depression” or “I don't know what to do”. If you think you’re not good at choosing titles, leave it till last. Spend time writing your post, then perhaps choose a sentence from what you’ve written as the title. 2.Join in threads that have already been posted We all have our own unique stories, but part of the reason for joining a forum like this one is because you know that you will have a lot in common with others who are posting. Before starting a new thread, have a look through the current topics being discussed and see if there’s a conversation you can join in with. It can be quite common to have a handful of very similar threads happening at any one time, with members seemingly unaware that there are others right there who are going through the same thing. Talking to other members on their threads is a great way of getting yourself known so that when you post a thread of your own, people may respond quicker because they recognize your name. 3.Choose the most appropriate section for your post Many people browse the forums looking for stories specifically to do with pregnancy and parenting, employment, grief, loss, separation etc. Going straight for the “Depression” section may seem like the easiest option, but this section is often the busiest, so your post is more likely to get lost among the threads. Making good use of the different forum sections not only helps keep the forum relevant, but you’re more likely to find others who are going through the same experiences as you. Also, if you're wanting to discuss issues of trauma, abuse, suicidal thoughts or self-harm, it's really important you post in the designated section to avoid triggering others who may not wish to read about these topics. Mostly..just come and chat, we are here for you. Our amazing wizards in the background will see your message ends up in the right spot. Sarah

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just no my usual happy bloke

replies: 4

Hi all, its been a long time build up i suspect, never would I have thought that one day it would all seem like it is piling up on me. So, i am a 36yo husband and dad with two kids, one boy 5, one bubba girl just turned 1. I work in a professional role in the transport industry, i dont work massive hours, i wouldnt say my job is stressful, it has its days, but nowhere what it used to be in my younger years in my career. I have been married since 2010 and with my wife since 2005-2006. Mum died of a terminal illness in April this year which shattered by dads and our familys life and ive certainly had better days. I am a big fan of camping and 4x4s, and long to spend money on my ute, but never get around to being able to budget for even the little things. Last night driving home from grabbing takeway in readiness to watch the state of origin, i suddenly broke down, and it was from one simple thought. It seems like nothing can make me happy anymore. BOOM, it cut through me harder than when Mum died. Even though my boy rode his bike without training wheels over the weekend and had his first big stack, my daughter crawling, saying Dadda, or my wife mentioning we should do a beach trip. Ive had drams with my wife over the years, i snap more frequently, i have a low tolerance level to naughty behaviour by my son, i feel like debts are overcoming me, i feel i drift around most days without concentrating 100% of the time. It just feels like there is just a need to wake up, live and go to sleep, with little details or excitement. I get severe back and neck pains for no reason now and then, i lack motivation because i am driven by money or the lack thereof to actually do nice things. I dont want to overload my dad as he is dealing with his own emotions and counselling after mum died, and my wife has her own anxiety matters she is dealing with, it just seems there is no reason but other than to basically exist. I have lost interest in my work, i am constantly on seek looking for jobs and i struggle to stay on point what i need to get done . But some days i can really motivate. I seem to be addicted to social media wanting what others have that i dont, i watch hours of you tube before bed, i am envious of the life that was before family life, which really guts me to say and think that. Do i sound like a prime candidate for help?? It makes me laugh to think i am the one who is normally the strong and optimistic type, but it just feels i am stuck in reverse gear. #lifesux

Planned website outage: Thursday 28 June 1am-5:30am AEST (tomorrow)

replies: 0

Hi everyone, As above in the title, the beyondblue website is undergoing maintenance tomorrow morning between 1am and 5:30am. During that period, the forums will be offline and unavailable for posting or reading. Our support service phone line is open 24 hours on 1300 22 4636 if you would like to speak with a professional counsellor while the forums are offline. Thanks for your patience.

I am new too....

replies: 7

Hi Everyone, I am new to the forums but not so new to the depression anxiety battle. I have had anxiety for most of my adult life and have been managing ok with intermittent support and using a variety of tools. My teenage daughter was diagnosed early last year with depression and was put on medication immediately, but it took a good 9 months and a few changes for her to get well, as well as a few difficult experiences with psychologist. We finally settled with an amazing psychiatrist and she is doing well - but now I am not doing very well. I have had really negative thoughts about myself and my life and I am angry I am not coping, and I know I should go and see someone but after meeting many psychologists who were not helpful to my daughter, I am really scared of going to see someone who might make this all worse for me, as I don’t have the energy to fight for what I need right now, or worse make me feel that I am just lazy or being dramatic. I am now at a point where it is becoming really necessary for me to see someone and the more I need it the more scared I become? I wonder if anyone here has had a similar experience with lack of trust for psychologists and how you got through it?? thanks guys

Is any of this familiar to anyone out there?

replies: 6

Hi there I am new here. I jumped online because after 25 years of being on different medications for anxiety and depression I have tapered off and been off meds for just on a month. The reason was that the side effects were outweighing the benefits. I had problematic gastrointestinal problems and regular headaches. After numerous tests and medication trials for both of those issues (over several years) it was time to see what coming off things would do. While I have managed to stayed off the meds and taken vitamins recommended by my GP and chemist to support me through SSRI withdrawal, I am an emotional wreck. I feel the anxiety, hopelessness and embarrassment at being me and huge swings involving regret over recent conversations and reactions and then there is a tsunami of emotion that just results in gasping and floods of tears. I am ready to quit my job (which I never really loved but which was ok for now) and drop out of a course I am nearly finished (I have pretty much dislike it all along but was just going to get it over with). I just can't stand the feeling of guilt that I am not doing more, not working overtime (like others), not studying enough. The feeling abates for a short time when I am engaged in the activity but so much of what I do seems incredibly difficult and I feel like I don't know what I am doing and I end up just throwing in the towel because despite working or studying for hours I am just not getting anywhere. I just want the pressure off but I can't work out what I should do instead. I have spent years and thousands of dollars on medication and psychologists and psychiatrists. I have done yoga and am even taking art classes as a way to have another outlet but its become one more thing I don't want to go to. While I don't want people to be suffering, at this stage I am really trying to reach out to see if this makes sense to anyone else. I am happily married and have friends and they are all supportive but I know that they haven't travelled the same path as me by their own admission. They sit with me why I cry suddenly but they admit they don't know how it feels. I am Gen X, no kids, spent most of my 20's and some of my 30's at uni and don't have the job to show for it. I have worked in call centres 20 years. I have turned 40 and I cannot get motivated or excited about anything in the future anymore and yes I know I am lucky for everything I do have. I just want to feel positive and excited about life and stay off meds.

Hi. I'm new & trying something different - talking to others :)

replies: 5

Hi everyone. I'm Tash and I'm new to the whole 'reaching out to others' thing. Just thought I'd try to become a part of something to help me feel less alone. I'm thinking it might be helpful talking to others who are also struggling wih mental illness and what better place than the internet...(cue Jaws music). Anyways, I look forward to getting involved in this community and hearing your stories and hopefully have the courage to share some of mine.

New and needing advice

replies: 4

Hi, I’m new here and I don’t normally talk about things but I guess I’m at a point where I think I need to. Ive have major depression for 7 years and it only seems to get worse. I’ve been able to cope with it mostly but the last few months has been the darkest time of my life. I have developed some really unhealthy coping mechanisms to keep myself going. I feel like no one wants me around or really cares about me and I feel like I will never be good enough for anyone, and that no one could ever love me. Every day I feel completely hopeless and alone. I was bullied really bad at school and ended up in an abusive relationship. When that ended I met someone 2 years later and things were great but they left me because of my condition.. it’s too hard to deal with. Does anyone have any advice on being in a relationship with depression, I want to be able to make it easier for someone in the future because I know it must be hard for them to be with someone like me. Thanks

Lost husband

replies: 2

Howdy, Ive been with my wife for 17 years (married for 10), in this time we have had 2 beautiful kids (8 and 6), 8 year old is IVF which was a massive strain on us, but after 4 miscarriages he finally came, but 2 weeks in we find he has 2 holes in his heart and needs open heart surgery at 5 months of age ( weighed 5kg at 5 months) but he is all good now. Daughter was a surprise, not that i didn't want another but i was just shocked as i thought we couldn't have kids naturally, and to be honest i started to fall away, when my wife went into mother mode (which is completely natural) i started to feel a disconnected from her and started texting a female friend which then turned into inappropriate text and Facebook messages, i was headed over there to do what no one should do to there husband or wife, but for once i sat and thought about the consequences and what i thought was right and didn't go, with in the week my wife found all the Facebook messages and our life got turned upside down, but after numerous counseling sessions we sorted it out (or so i thought) . Now fast forward a few years and my wife and i would have petty arguments over the same thing, she wanted to feel loved and i thought i was doing that, and then she would back down until the next argument about the same thing. I couldn't see it but she was drifting, i guess i felt contempt that she would always be there and the arguments would pass.... But it got worse ... Ive always encouraged her do go out and have fun with her friends as i thought that's what she needed, which it was what she needed, then she struck up a good friendship with a bloke from her work which i was fine with, but things got weird about a month ago when she would carry her phone everywhere, always on it. Then i started getting suss about this bloke as they were having coffee ( which is innocent ), but as it turns out there were text messages going back and forth for a couple of months which then turned into inappropriate messages, which then turned into the worst possible scenario, them meeting up for sex (meant to mention that he is married with 3 kids). At this time i now nothing about the sex.. So this is how it all went down. She tells me last week that she is not sure if she loves me and shes not sure if she wants to be here, as i havnt shown her the things she has been asking for, i'm absolutely devastated as i couldn't see this coming and i could see my whole live flash before my eyes. Check next post

Why am i feeling this way?

replies: 2

I recently started feeling really down when my fiance and I got a puppy. It had been just over two weeks now and im starting to feel lost and unhappy. Ive wanted to return the dog but my fiance has made it clear that he won't get rid of him as he doesn't believe a dog can make me feel this way. We live in an apartment in the city and im feeling very claustrophobic and hate that i cant get down time without a reminder of the dog every minute. .my partner works long hours and it has made me feel more lonely. Im just feeling very unfulfilled with my life and now questioning everything. Even a potential career change as nothing seems to excite me anymore. Im just sick of feeling this way and no idea why a puppy has caused this to happen to me.

Just feeling empty and lost.

replies: 1

Hi, I guess I am here seeking some sort of advice. I am stuck in a bit of a rut. I am currently in my final year of school and as dramatic as it sounds everything seems to be going downhill. I can't explain it very well- I just feel so lifeless and numb yet weighed down with what is like sadness but it isn't. I no longer find myself enjoying anything and I have recently been getting into the problem of skipping school. I struggle to go through a full week of school. Nothing bad is even happening to me- I just feel completely dead inside when I wake up. My life is pretty fine, I don't really have anything specifically terrible happening to me. I suppose I am also a bit lonely because my friendships have been dropping off, but that is my fault for not being social in all honesty. I recently started talking to some people online and I worry I am becoming too attached because of how dull my real life/relationships are but I have made a close friend who makes me actually laugh. In real life I am only really talkative and myself with my best friend because I am rather shy, so when I talk to others I tend to be quiet and feel regretful for not speaking afterwards. Everything is just a mess to be truthful. I don't have a sense of direction, I can't find enjoyment in life and it is just lonely and dull. How can I enjoy life? I have tried various activities before and I used to really enjoy horse riding but stopped this year because as with everything else, I'm just not happy. I'm not even terribly sad, I just have a heavy feeling. In fact, I often joke and laugh when I am around others I am comfortable with, I don't even know if I am depressed or anything. I mean I know I show some of the symptoms e.g. loosing interest but I don't like to claim I have depression because I am not exactly sad, just empty. And I have no reason either. I cannot talk to anyone in real life about my emotions. I have this problem where I tend to burst into tears whenever I talk about how I feel. I am not sure why, perhaps it is embarrassment. Sorry about the way I am spitting it all out- I am just trying to give you an insight into my strange mind. All I want to do at the moment is lay in bed and listen to depressing music and sink into the ground (stereotypical teenager much). What makes it difficult is at the same time I want to go out and do things and lead an interesting life. I plan on a gap year of travel. The problem is, I can't find any enjoyment or way to go and live my life.

So sick of this

replies: 2

Hi I haven't posted before but I have depression and have for years really try and fight it but today I am so sick of out my children have grown and don't need me anymore. Really don't know what my life purpose is anymore. We moved back home then the only real friend I have died suddenly that was 2 yrs ago I am so lonely. I am married but he is fine with silence and the way things. are. Because I am always sad I get told I don't smile enough at work. So hate it. Really sick of this, what am I to do. .?

Meet your community champions! replies: 10

HELP..Am I posting in the right section? replies: 10

just no my usual happy bloke replies: 4

Planned website outage: Thursday 28 June 1am-5:30am AEST (tomorrow) replies: 0

I am new too.... replies: 7

Is any of this familiar to anyone out there? replies: 6

Hi. I'm new & trying something different - talking to others :) replies: 5

New and needing advice replies: 4

Lost husband replies: 2

Why am i feeling this way? replies: 2

Just feeling empty and lost. replies: 1

So sick of this replies: 2