Dear Oddsocks
Hello and welcome.
From the comments you have written I suspect the problem is not specific to any one area. It seems much of your life is drifting along without much input from you. That's OK if you like it this way but I feel this is not your choice. I am a long term procrastinator and it took me ages to do anything about anything. Partly physical tiredness, so look to your diet and exercise. It's amazing how these can brighten up your life. Partly depression for me though huge at one time. Again exercise is good but where do you get the motivation to do this?
This is one time you have to gather up all your reserves and make yourself do something. A brisk walk is good. Notice how your body moves. Are walking slowly taking no notice of the path? Are desperately wanting it to be over? I know. Please persevere and see if anything changes. If not get a general check up with your GP. It's amazing how our physical health impacts on the psychological and emotional aspects of our bodies until all we want to do is sleep or lie in bed. Don't think you are at that stage yet.
Try these simple and cheap things first. Finding a new job can be exciting but this is not exciting you so try less drastic solutions first. Does your company have an Employee Assistance Service or similar? it's a counselling service paid for by the company. If so give them a try.
Smoking is hard to give up and you need heaps of motivation to do this so get some smaller victories under your belt first. Exercise and walking. I am sounding like a broken record I think but I believe it would be helpful to you and your anxiety to have a relatively easy way to start getting on top of all this. Start with the small stuff. Ambition and motivation may well start popping up.
With your proposed marriage plans, maybe your GF is unsure about your commitment so is backing off a little. Is it important to you? I think this is a good place to start talking but get a little more energy first.
Mary
