Hello. I'm a newbie

[Ali25]

Hello,

I suffer from depression. To keep it simple I have a relationship issue that became even more painful this morning when I realised my partner a
"friend" in his bed last night. Right next to me when he swore he would never do this. We are friends but apart and it has been a tramatic experience for me to accept this. This relationship was happy and to be forever until a sudden shock ended it. I am getting closure now but it is hard to move on because I will be all alone. I don't know if this "friend" is staying over again. I couldn't stand for that. This house is rented under both our names. I definitely have no where to go. Just seeking comfort with my dog and can't stop crying. I would ring a help line but afraid I will blubber and make no sense. I am so worked up. The anxiety in my body is at max like every nerve is shouting.

Perhaps someone out there is around and can help me calm down. Usually I am strong but not today.

[Birdy77]

Hello Ali25,

I can hear the anguish you are feeling, it leaps from the page.

For now, i just wondered if you could try something to bring yourself back into your own body - if what you're feeling is anything like what i have felt in traumatic circumstances it's almost like you've shattered and all the pieces are orbiting around outside of yourself.

I'm glad you have your dog, they are excellent at grounding us and bringing us back into the moment. Even if you spend the rest of the afternoon cuddling your dog or taking for a walk, or playing ball, brushing them. They are all good things for your spirit.

Sometimes taking a shower or soaking in the bath can help - in the shower you could imagine washing all the negative vibes off you and cleansing your energy. If you soak in the bath you can feel comforted and held by the water. It can help you feel nurtured and safe.

If you have a backyard you could sit in, just sitting on the grass and feeling the earth beneath you can help.

I will post this to you now, so you know you are being heard and hopefully you will at least feel some comfort in that. If you want to talk more about what's happened later, that might help you, but for now it's time to focus on you, and taking care of your self.

I'm so sorry you are hurting right now, but you are not alone. We are here beside you.

🌻birdy

[Ali25]

Thank you Birdy77 so much for your suggestions. You are right.

And I just made an appointment with a GP for this afternoon. I will drag myself to it no matter how dreadful I look like. I will have a shower before I go to wash as much as I can away so I can function.

Thank you and anyone else for being here and having someone listen to me. I know I can do it but right now it is very hard to pull myself together.

I'll make myself a cup of tea.

[Birdy77]

You are very welcome Ali,

A cup of tea is perfect.

Feel strengthened and comforted with each sip.

Yes, you can do this, and you are doing it!

Going to the GP is great, well done.

Just take the rest of the day one moment at a time.

🌻birdy

[Ali25]

It's a few days later now. I went to the doctors and got some stronger meds. They have calmed me most of the weekend.

Now I just discovered that my ex's got a girl in his room again. Snuck her in when thinking I was asleep. Did this happened every other night since the first night too? Makes me feel more humiliated to know it is behind my back like I am an idiot.

Why are people so cruel? It is going to be a long night working out the confrontation tomorrow and where to find help to get this person out of space.

[Gizz_36]

Hi welcome

[Birdy77]

Hello Ali,

How are you feeling, and how are things going?

It must feel so incredibly uncomfortable in your current living situation.

Were you able to have a discussion with your ex?

You will eventually need to stop this living arrangement, i know it's easier said than done, but either he needs to move out and you get in a housemate, or you look for other share accommodation, because it sounds like you don't have anyone you trust (family, friends) around to fall back on?

It's so hurtful for you to live as you are with him bringing people into the home you have shared together.

I hope you are ok.

🌻birdy

[Ali25]

Hello Birdy,

Thanks for the kind words and thoughts. I kicked him out on Monday so it is a massive relief off my shoulders and I now have closure. I feel much better although mentally drained and sleeping alot for once.

I know now I will take care of myself and take the steps to improve my future. Thanks so much for the support when I needed it.

[Donnabalnor]

please ring the help line and talk to some one it will help you wishing you some peace and comfort for you and your dog