Hello I am a migrant mum with zero social life

[Katrina_B]

I moved from my country with my son almost a year ago So basically I dont have family or friends nearby. I have been fighting loneliness and it sometimes manifests on how i easily get annoyed by my son, my husband, and our new puppy. Most of the time I am in a bad mood and I always lean on the negative side of things. I have never felt like this as I have always been a positive person. My husband doesn’t seem to understand that a simple trip to the grocery or chemist is already helps curb my loneliness. Help?

[james1]

Hello Katrina,

I'm so sorry to hear that you are finding loneliness really hard. I absolutely understand how it can also affect your relationships and cause your mood to just generally be quite bad. My ex is from Scotland and, like you, she has no family here and very limited friends, so loneliness can be a real challenge for her too.

It sounds like you don't get out of the house much - I don't mean to pry, but it sounds like you've already zeroed in on the cause of the loneliness, so I wonder is there a reason that you aren't able to meet people more often? Is this Covid related?

It might be worthwhile just having a look at what other online social things are happening. As an example, I live in Sydney and there is a website called MeetUp which allows people to host social things and essentially advertise them online. With the pandemic, a lot of these gatherings have moved onto Skype and whatnot so I'm part of a book club for example which has moved to online zoom meetings. Would something like that be of any help to you?

James

[Katrina_B]

Well generally, I have a one year old kid and I can’t afford a baby sitter just now. I just started working part time and because of the new puppy, I had to be home to be able to potty train her. I know it sounds I am just full of excuses but it is what it is. I also don’t have a car so going around places is a challenge with an active one year old. Does that make sense?

[Ggrand]

Hello Katrina,

Welcome to the forums...

Its hard struggling with loneliness...It’s something I feel quite a lot...and it can get overwhelming at times..I’m so sorry that your feeling loneliness...

Im wondering if it’s possible to take your beautiful son for a bit of a walk in his stroller to be able to out into the fresh air...also Katrina most schools or neighbour centres has a play group, where mums get to know each other while the children play together...

Libraries are another place where they have groups activities for adults, most days..learning new things like craft, computer etc...It’s a lot harder now that COVID is around..most councils also have a list of groups in your local area....I really do wish you well andcwish I had more ideas for you..

No..your not making excuses..You have a toddler, a new puppy to look after and they both take up a lot of time..even puppy school is another place to meet with other dog owners...

Talk here anytime you feel up to it..Hopefully talking here will make you feel less lonely...Here whenever I can be to chat with you..

Kind thoughts..

Grandy..

[Katrina_B]

I actually feel like going to chemists and groceries rewarding for me but my husband doesn’t seem to understand. Yes, I also wanted to join puppy schools but the my night job cannot jive with the school’s schedule. I haven’t tried going to play groups and libraries jus yet tho so thank you for your suggestion. I will try going out again with my bub. We used to do that but it kinda stopped with the pandemic and stuff. But yeah, thank you for those.

[Ggrand]

Katrina,

It was nice to hear that you will try to go out with your bub again...Just getting out in the fresh air can help with being lonely..

I hope you can drop into play group or the library when your feeling up to it ...I understand it’s harder to do these things with the pandemic..

If your ever feeling overwhelming loneliness or just want to chat..you’re welcome here anytime..

Kind thoughts..

Grandy..

[TheBigBlue]

Hi Katrina,

Im not sure what interests you might have, but you could perhaps look at all sorts of different things - art classes, volunteering with a charity, language classes? Perhaps not at all suitable with a young child, but maybe you can start planning a few things for down the track which will give you something to look forward too.

what about sports? Do you watch or play any? I’m sports obsessed so happy to discuss that any time if you wish.

I’m around every few days, so pop back & let us know how you are going

[james1]

Hi Katrina,

Ah, I understand. As Ggrandy said, I don't think they are excuses but rather very legitimate reasons why you are finding it difficult to make time for yourself - all your time is taken up taking care of others.

I hope you can get a chance to get out to some play groups and libraries. They sound like they could be nice.

What about even just dropping by a local coffee shop on a semi-regular basis with the little one and having a brief chat to the barista each time? It's not a lot, but it sounds like you are similar to me and find even going grocery shopping helpful. I try to have a brief conversation with my local barista every few days.

James