Hello from a newbie!

[ssjosh]

Hello all,

Glad to have found this forum, just thought of dropping a couple of quick lines to introduce myself.

I'm a 35 yo first time mum to a gorgeous 9 week old boy. He has had a couple of health issues after birth which is when I started to blame myself for failing him as I had a tough pregnancy and had to deliver him preterm.

As with any newborn the challenges and the lack of sleep is driving my partner and I apart, we constantly fight and cant agree on anything - specially in regards to the "how to's for our son".

My partner thinks because he is working too, he is stressed more than I am, what he fails to understand is the stress of looking after a newborn 24x7 and doing all the household work.I had a very successful career and currently on maternity leave. Though I enjoy every minute of the time spent with my son, all the do's and dont's and expectations from my partner is stressing me out.

There are times when I feel like I'm worthless and not needed neither for my partner nor my son. All this depression is quite new to me and I'm having a hard time in convincing myself that this could hopefully just be a phase.

[MsPurple]

HI ssjosh and welcome to the forums

I am glad you have found the forums.

Sorry to hear your son has had some health problems. It is can make parenthood start on a more stressful front. My younger sister was born around 2 months premi. She is now 16 and has no problems from being born early, however I remember how stressed my dad and his wife at the time were.

I will admit, I am not a parent. I can not fully relate, but I know other forum members are and I hope they contribute to this welcome post also. I think with your husband to discuss not wanting to compare who has it harder, it seems like it will just cause friction in the relationship and more stress regarding parenting. Just agree you both have a roll and both are needed.

Welcome to the forums and hope to see you around more

[geoff]

Hello Ssjosh, and a warm welcome to you.

Congratulations on becoming a new mum and from what you've said it wasn't an easy pregnacy

Being a mum is also a 24/7 job more so than the father who works 9 to 5 then comes home and expects dinner to be cooked and put his feet up and watch telly.

Both parents have to pitch in to help each other because neither of you knows what your 9 week old son's routine will be like, so you are going to be exhausted and need assistance from your husband.

It's a complete change in your lifestyle and there is a chance you maybe suffering from PND, although I'm not qualified to say, a doctor has to make that diagnosis, but this may not be something your husband has even considered and suggest it's what you both need to find out.

Ask your husband if he can take an hour off from work to go with you to the doctors, what and how they say things mean a lot more than coming from someone else.

Please, can you let us know.

Geoff.