Hello. First time user.

[_teve68_]

Hi, I just need somewhere to vent. I know I'm suffering from depression at least 4 months now. I am doing my best to beat it, but just feel like sitting on the floor and crying. I'm 53 and have seen a lot, but for some reason I just can't cry, my eyes swell with tears but it just stops. I am seeing a psychiatrist and a psychologist. I have great GP support as well, but my wife doesn't seem to understand my struggle. 

I just feel so sad and lonely, I haven't worked for 6 months and have been sleeping on the couch for 5 months. I have 4 beautiful kids otherwise I wouldn't be here.

I know it's a lot to take in. I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm made of lead and everything I do, takes such effort.

So Hello!

[Petal22]

Hi $teve68$,

Im sorry you are feeling this way I understand it would be difficult.

It must feel hard to not be able to fully cry……. Is something holding you back from fully feeling what you need to feel?

Im glad you have a mental health support team.

I think it’s sometimes hard for our family to understand what we are going through but we can only hope that they try to understand with no judgment.

[geoff]

Hello $teve, trying to get a spouse/partner to actually understand why we haven't been feeling well for a period of time is not easy, especially the cost of seeing a psychologist and a psychiatrist and whether this is justified when you haven't been able to work for the last 6 months.

People cry to show their emotions but if you are unable to, doesn't mean that you aren't feeling the way you are because no one can cry 24 hours a day, but someone can certainly feel depressed for that amount of time and even longer and it's shown in other ways.

There can be times when all we want to do is express our feelings by crying, but the more we want this to happen, the less chance it does, but this doesn't mean how you are feeling, so don't worry.

It can be possible that later on down the track we suddenly start to cry and it may even be at the most inconvenient time.

Can I ask you whether or not you cry when you're talking to the psych's and there is no harm in doing so, I've done it on countless occasions.

These psych's may be helping you but as soon as you go home it could be pushed aside because your wife doesn't understand nor supports you.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

[jaz28]

hi,

i am sorry you have been feeling this this.

i am glad to hear you have a support team - that's a great thing, it really helped me. but it takes time !

just know it is OK to cry and you are not alone. could you bring your wife to a therapy session? she could see first hand what you are experiencing? up to you.

here if you need,

jaz xx

[smallwolf]

Hello and welcome.

Things seem quite bad for you at the moment from reading your post. Sometimes it can be difficult for our loved ones to understand what it feels like. Also we can look the same as we did before, perhaps just not as happy.

If you want to tell more of your story, people here will have some understanding as many of us have been in similar positions.

Perhaps in my own journey the one thing I can do is to take each day as it comes.