Hello Everyone

boomashoom · ‎19-12-2019

Hi. I am a guy who has suffered from depression for most of my adult life. I had a 'bout' of severe anxiety when younger also, however I managed to overcome the panic attacks and learnt how to self manage. I have always felt in control of my depression and anxiety since then, however recently I have been sanctioned for a breach of my work conditions and feel that I may lose my job as a result. This would be devastating to me as I am a single man in his 50s who has a degree only in the field I work in and I have a large mortgage and many other expenses. Losing my job in the current climate would most likely lead to my losing everything I have.

I feel like I need to reach out and seek some support because the past week or so has been extremely distressing for me. I have not had a panic attack, however I feel as though I have come close on a few occasions. I have spoken to my doctor and he has given me some medication which I will only take when I really need it, however I constantly have that gnawing ache in the pit of my stomach and find it hard to see a positive future.

Thankfully, I have a wonderful woman in my life who is trying to be supportive, however I feel this is also difficult for her as she has some problems of her own and we have only been together for a relatively short time. Talking with her helps but it's not always the best thing to do given she has her own problems which she also sees as being difficult to manage.

So, whilst trying to stay buoyant, I find myself posting here for support and to try to settle myself down. I thank all those who have read this far and look forward to being a part of this community.

EnchiladaPlatter · ‎19-12-2019

Thanks for sharing your story boomashoom and I can empathize with several points. I also just joined the forums to reach out and it actually feels very good to have made some posts.

Its very frustrating when you haven't had a panic attack in a long time, but a stressful situation raises the likelihood of another panic attack. I've been in oscillating between being free and having the fear keep me awake at night for several months.

I think its considerate of you not wanting to put too much of the stress on the woman in your life because she is dealing with her own problems. I understand this as well because I don't want to burden certain people with my problems.

kiga283 · ‎19-12-2019

Hello there. It is good to hear more about you and your situation. I am in a similar position because my sister also suffers from anxiety. It is hard to talk to her and listen to her issues because it can cause panic attacks for me. But I want to be able to learn more about what she is going through too and see how I can help. It puts me in a difficult situation but I think the best thing that I can do (and possibly you can too), is get on top of our own issues and learn how to control them first.

boomashoom · ‎19-12-2019

Thank you both for your replies. I know, having lived a fair while now, that there is always a way out and always light to be found. Seeking a helping hand is the first step, and learning more about how to take the next steps slowly helps to grow confidence and to see the future. I don't know details of course about your specific situation kiga283, however having a sister you are clearly close to who suffers similarly to you actually offers you both a great deal. You can learn together how to use relaxation techniques to assist you when feeling unsettled and anxious, and without necessarily having to thrash out your problems with each other, at least be able to share some solutions. I wish you both well.

Flowertop · ‎19-12-2019

Hi Boomashoom

It sounds like you are under a lot of stress, especially with your work situation and the impact on your lifestyle that a negative outcome may have. No wonder you are feeling on the edge of a panick attack at times.
It is great that you have seen your doctor and are in a relationship so your not going through this on your own.

Wishing you all the best.