first timer here

[Justjan]

My seemingly perfect son seems to be unraveling and I missed all the signs. He is only 18 and seems to have the weight of the world on his shoulders. He has always been a quiet lad so I didnt notice when depression crept in. He didnt do as well as he had hoped last year at school so didnt go study, tried ( and is still trying ) to find work but most of the jobs require previous experience. In the past 4 months after turning 18 he has been drinking not all the time, but when he does its till he blacks out and cant remember. Scary. He lost his licence for dui and this past week landed in trouble again for damaging property while drunk.... but has no memory of it. I am so out of my depth, I dont know how to help him. He has today gone to see someone and is going to go for alcohol and depression counseling which I am so grateful for, but how do I help. In this drinking culture we live in how do I help? All his mates are turning 18 and now they get to head out to the clubs, drinking is all new and exciting for them.

[Justjan]

my stress levels are going thru the roof. I feel so alone as I have promised my son I wouldnt tell anyone what has happened. I dont want to break his trust. Him opening up to me is a very big deal. But i know I will have to tell my husband . I just dont know how to bring it up to my son. He has been to Headspace last week for an evaluation but we r waiting for him to start his counseling.My husband will be home wen its his court date so I cant keep it secret then.

[blondguy]

Hi Jan

this would be hard for you to deal with as the only parent with your husband away. Your health is important here as well. Having a chat to your GP will provide some well needed peace for at this time

Your mentioning the situation to your husband (by phone or email) is important as you are carrying all the weight of this at the moment. You and your husband as parents are ones providing the support and guidance for your son. It may be uncomfortable for your son yet his well being (you & your husband working together) will involve both parents to know whats happening which places your sons welfare as a priority

You can always explain to your son that you have no other choice....at this stage....except to communicate with his dad. If your husband's reaction is negative this wont be helpful to your sons situation or his well being

I hope you can consider booking your GP for a double appointment to discuss how much you have been having to cope with Jan

my kind thoughts for you

Paul